


Satisfaction

by Kalydon



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: BAMF Loki, Bottom Tony, Dark, Discussion of Rape, Dreams and Nightmares, Feels, Fluff, FrostIron - Freeform, Hurt Loki, Hurt Tony, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Light BDSM, M/M, Magic, Mental Breakdown, Past Child Abuse, Past Rape/Non-con, Past Torture, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Smut, Suicide Attempt, Top Loki, Warning: Loki
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-11
Updated: 2017-07-13
Packaged: 2018-06-07 19:58:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 55,908
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6821881
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kalydon/pseuds/Kalydon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony's not sure how, but someone else is in his dream. That someone else happens to be a tall, English, sexy god. He's not complaining.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. This is a child at prayer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, so this is my first real frostiron fic. I've wanted to write one for a really long time, but I was worried about Tony not coming out right; then, all of a sudden, he came out right. XD
> 
> Frostiron helped me through a really tough time, as did a lot of the writers of it, so at the beginning of a lot of these chapters, I plan to thank or credit one of those authors on here who helped inspire this work. If you like frostiron, you either already know about them or you should go look at their stuff. Seriously. They're way better at this than me.
> 
> Another thing as a heads up for those of you who ignore tags, this fic has some darker aspects because I am apparently incapable of writing anything that doesn't. I took some hints of out Norse Mythology and my own twisted imagination to create a more solid backstory for Loki, and he did not have a pleasant life. Just a friendly warning. I don't plan for there to be anything too explicit about any of it right now, and if that changes I'll put warnings at the top of the chapters.
> 
> Lastly, a massive thanks goes to Chephren for this fic. She wasn't even a fan of frostiron, but when I asked her to read through the first few chapters of this because I was nervous about posting it, not only did she do that, but she also watched almost all the Marvel Movies in a weekend to get a handle on the characters. She's awesome. Thanks so much, love!

He was floating. Only he couldn’t be floating, because that would mean there was water, and whatever he was in, it wasn’t water.

The stuff was blue, dark and deep like the ocean, but even though it rolled and formed waves like water in the blackness that surrounded him, it was formed of millions of little specks. Yet somehow he wasn’t sinking in it- he was floating over this black abyss that looked a lot like space, only without the stars.

It wasn’t like the little particles were condensed and pulled together form a flat surface, either; in fact, most of them weren’t touching one another. They were strung out as though on a string in twisting curves that looked a lot like the representations of DNA he had seen. And he was floating in them. It shouldn’t have been possible.

Slowly, he tried to sit up, and found that he could. This was just ridiculous; you can’t sit and float at the same time. Standing came next, and he stood on the black nothingness with the blue stuff still rolling around his feet. But it didn’t wash into him; it just went through his feet and the black pants of his suit.

“I’m dreaming,” he announced to the empty space, surprised to find that his voice actually worked. Odd. Usually in dreams nothing surprised him.

He took a few steps on the perfectly solid nothingness that was beneath his feet and looked around the area. As far as he could see, it was just that black darkness with the blue particle waves rolling about on it.

“This is boring,” he declared with a soft sigh, looking for something, anything to occupy his time.

To his surprise, there was someone else in his dream.

Standing a few meters away in the blue stuff was a really tall guy dressed in a weird black and green getup. It was leather. The guy was wearing fucking leather armor. He had black hair that was slicked back neatly and where the blue stuff flowed around his feet it was turning a really bright emerald green before fading back to blue.

Tony’s eyes narrowed in interest. “Less boring now,” he muttered and moved towards the stranger in his dream. “Hey,” he called out, “why’re you in my dream?”

The guy’s head snapped up so fast that the action was actually a blur. He really should have gotten whiplash from that. He stared for several moments with really big green eyes before speaking slowly. “Your. . . dream?” He had an accent- British one. Or English. Whatever.

“Yeah. My dream. Why are you in it?” Tony tried enunciating slowly, as if the guy before him were a complete idiot. In Tony’s experience, most people were.

There was a long pause, and then the guy smirked. “I am not in your dream, little one. If anything, you are in mine.”

Tony crossed his arms, puffing out his chest as he looked up at the guy. “I am  **not** little.” Then the rest of the words registered. “And what do you mean, I’m in your dream?”

“Exactly what I said,” Mr. Really-Tall-British-Dude responded. He regarded Tony with much the same expression with which Tony usually looked at a particularly difficult engineering problem. “It is quite curious.”

“Who dreams of. . . this?” Tony made a wide gesture, encompassing the entire strange scenery.

“Me,” the smart-ass returned with another smirk. “You seem too. . . small to be Asgardian,” he continued after a moment, ignoring Tony’s outraged splutter. “From where do you hail?”

“From where do I what?”

“Hail,” the guy repeated, like he had no idea what was so confusing about the question. When saying the word again didn’t seem to register any more with Tony than it had the first time, he sighed. “Where are you from?”

“Oh! Long Island, New York.”

The stranger’s brow furrowed, “What  _ planet _ are you from?”

Tony stared. “You’re kidding, right? There’s only one planet that can sustain life.”

The man arched an eyebrow, “Really? Then I suppose I must be dead.”

Long beat. “You’re saying. . . you’re an alien?!” Tony exclaimed.

The stranger rolled his eyes. “What planet are you from, boy?”

“Quit calling me things like that,” Tony grumbled before answering. “Earth,  _ duh _ .”

“Earth.” The alien repeated, sounding like he was trying the word for the first time. Then something seemed to click, “Midgard. Of course. You’re human.” He frowned, “How are you in my dream?”

Tony shrugged, “I don’t know. I thought it was my dream. In fact, I still kind of think it must be.”

“Oh? Do you often dream of the natural flow of unhindered magical energy?”

“Magic isn’t real,” Tony responded instantly, and then added, “smart-ass.”

The guy frowned, “I. . . don’t understand. Do human posteriors have a mind of their own?”

Tony burst out laughing. “Human pos- Oh my god. You did not just say that,” he chortled once he’d gotten himself under control.

Mr. Alien arched an eyebrow. “I don’t understand what was so amusing about the question.”

“You know what? I believe you. You’re definitely an alien,” Tony laughed. “So where are you from anyway?”

“Asgard,” he said simply.

“Am I supposed to know where that is?”

He sighed. “What is your name, child?”

Tony scowled, “I told you to stop calling me that!”

“Why do you think I’m requesting after your identity?”

Brief pause. “Oh. Right. I’m Tony. Tony Stark. You?”

“Loki.”

Tony arched an eyebrow, “They don’t have last names on Ass-guard?”

“Asgard,” Loki corrected automatically. “And it would technically be Odinsson.”

Tony whistled. “I would really hate to be you.”

Loki frowned, “Pardon?”

“Name like Loki Odinsson? You must be teased terribly.”

There was a long pause. “Why would you assume that?” Loki asked carefully.

Tony blinked at him like he was a moron. “Because your name is obnoxious.”

“There is nothing wrong with my name,” Loki objected, insulted.

“Kind of is.”

Loki rolled his eyes and changed the subject. “How old are you, ch- Tony?”

“Nine!” he said proudly. “You?”

Loki’s responding smile was almost sad. “I am one thousand, eight hundred, and twenty-seven years old.”

Tony’s eyes were so big he wouldn’t have been surprised if they had simply popped out of his face. “WHAT?!”

Loki grinned at the reaction. “Indeed. And still not yet an adult by my people’s standards.”

“You cannot be serious.”

“Completely.”

“Well. . . that’s gotta suck.”

He looked a bit confused, but apparently Tony’s inflection had been enough for him to derive the general meaning of the phrase. “Yes.”

Tony sighed looking down, and then something seemed to occur to him. “Hey, do they have artificial intelligence on Asgard?”

“Artificial. . . ? Oh, you mean a created mind.”

“Yeah! Do they have it?”

“No,” Loki responded simply, “but it is said that some of the ancient relics and artifacts have minds of their own.”

“Damn.” Tony sighed.

“What is your interest in it?”

“We don’t have it on my planet either, but I’m going to be the first one to make it,” Tony bragged.

Loki smiled, “Is this something that would prove you to be great among your people?”

Tony nodded, “Yeah. I’d be really famous.” He paused, his expression growing more sour, “Well, more famous.”

“You already have a reputation?”

“Well, yeah. I’m Howard Stark’s son- how could I not have a reputation?”

There was a moment’s pause. “You are your world’s golden hero.”

Tony snorted, “Hah! They’re all just waiting for me to screw up. Especially Dad.”

Another pause. “Your father. . . he does not appreciate your genius?”

“Nope,” Tony popped the last sound. Then he frowned, “How do you know I’m a genius? Maybe I’m just lying to you.”

Loki smiled slightly, “I would know if you were lying. But I suppose I don’t know if you are a genius; it was simply a guess.”

“How would you know?” Tony asked, curious.

“God of Lies.”

“No way.”

Loki smiled, “Indeed.”

“You’re a fucking god!?”

He frowned, “What is this. . . “fucking”?”

Tony started laughing again, this time actually falling over into the blue stuff around him. “You- you can’t say stuff like that,” he gasped out.

Loki arched an eyebrow, “I don’t understand.”

“Seriously, use the internet.”

“The what?”

Tony stared, righting himself. “You don’t have the internet? Or something like it?”

“What  _ is _ it?”

Tony sighed and then started to explain. Loki listened the whole time as he rambled on about technology and engineering and the stupid kids at school who liked to bully him. He talked about his father’s drinking habits, and his parent's very not public seperation that he wasn't supposed to talk about with anyone; he told Loki more throughout the night than he had ever really told anyone in his life. He had never even been that honest with Jarvis, mostly because Jarvis already knew it all, and Tony hadn’t needed to tell him.

Suddenly, a soft, warm light started spreading over the area, making the blue stuff disappear where it touched, and Tony frowned. “What is that?”

“Dawn,” Loki responded, standing from the cross-legged position he had assumed at some point.

“Oh. Right,” Tony muttered. “So. . . I guess I’ll probably never see you again, huh? I mean, you’re just a dream after all.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure.”

“Hey, Loki?”

“Yes?”

“Are we. . . friends?” Tony asked, staring at his feet. When no answer was forthcoming, he hurried to explain, “Sorry, I was just asking because Jarvis is always saying that I need friends, and I wasn’t sure if-”   


“Yes,” Loki cut him off, and Tony dared to look up and meet those bright green eyes. “I think we are.”

“Really?”

Loki smiled, “Quite so. Farewell, Tony Stark.”

The warm light washed over them, and Tony woke up.

(0)-(0)-(0)-(0)-(0)

Tony had never been so distracted in his entire life. The teacher had actually had to repeat a question before he could answer it, and not just because he had been screwing around and not paying attention. Well, he hadn’t been paying attention, but only because he was daydreaming about whether or not he would see his alien again that night.

A part of him, the sensible, logical part, kept insisting that it was a dream- something his mind had randomly conjured up in the middle of the night. Maybe because Tony was lonely. Maybe because Jarvis was on vacation for the rest of the week. But that was silly; Tony didn’t get lonely, and even if he were, why would his subconscious have provided a six-foot-tall alien in leather armor named after the Norse God of Mischief? Tony had done some research.

He had never been so eager to go to sleep before in his life, rushing through his homework and actually ignoring one of his robotic projects so that he could sleep sooner. Of course, his excitement naturally kept him up later than he would have liked, but eventually he drifted away into the dark abyss of sleep.

Tony opened his eyes, but he wasn’t floating in blue energy this time. He was just in the backyard of one of the many Stark Summer Mansions. The sun was high above beating down on his back, but no one was around. He was standing in the dirt, and when he looked down he realised that his suit was covered with mud. His dad was going to kill him! Where was Jarvis?

As Tony looked around in a panic, he froze at a hand on his shoulder.

“Hello again, Tony Stark.”

Tony whirled around to find himself face to. . . well, chest, with a smiling Norse God. “You’re here! This time you are definitely in my dream.”

Loki nodded, “Yes. I will leave if you do not wish me-”

“No! I mean. . . I don’t mind,” Tony was quick to assure. “So I’m guessing me in your dream was a one-time thing?”

“Quite. I was experimenting with astral projection, and I think that somehow I must have caught you up in my open meditation. My apologizes for that.”

Tony shrugged like he had understood a word of what Loki had said, “No problem. So, how come you’re named after the Norse God of Mischief?”

“Technically, I believe the Norse named their deity after me,” Loki countered without missing a beat.

Tony was incredibly enthusiastic. “So you really are him?”

Loki just shrugged. “I am the God of Lies and Mischief; whether or not they were actually correct about anything else is up for debate.”

“Did you give birth to a horse?”

Loki’s eyebrows climbed almost into his hairline, “What?! No. No, I did not.”

“Can you turn into a girl?”

A long beat. “Yes.”

“Can I see?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Why do you want to?”

He shrugged. “I didn’t think magic was real.”

“Well, if it’s a demonstration of magic you want,” Loki held out his hand, palm upwards, and conjured up some kind of helmet out of ice. It had slits for eyes and the mouth, but it was made entirely of ice and glowed with something of an eerie blue flame. It was only the size of a thimble.

Tony’s eyes went wide. “Whoa! That’s awesome! What kind of helmet is that?”

Loki shrugged, handing the figure over to the boy, “As far as I know, it doesn’t actually exist.”

“I’ll make it someday,” Tony stated almost absently as he examined it. “It really feels cold.”

“Did you expect differently from something made of ice?”

“Well, we are in a dream.” He frowned, “Which means that this might not actually be real.”

Loki rolled his eyes, “Someday, I will have to come to you in person just to prove that I do exist.”

Tony smiled up at him, “You can do that?”

Loki hesitated briefly and then nodded. “Yes.”

“Awesome!” Then he paused, “But maybe you should wait until I grow up and move away from my dad. I don’t think he would like you.”

“Oh?” Loki’s tone was frosty.

Tony shrugged, “He might think you were trying to use me to get to him or steal the family money or something. He wouldn’t believe that you were an alien, that’s for sure.”

“Well, I hardly have need for your fortune,” Loki scoffed.

“Why not? Do you use different money on Asgard?”

“Generally, gold is used, but I’ve never needed to concern myself with it,” Loki answered carelessly.

“Why not?” Tony repeated.

“I’m a prince.”

Something clicked in Tony’s head. “Oh! Odinsson. Odin’s son. And Odin is, like, the king of the gods, right?”

“Precisely.”

Tony frowned, “I thought Thor was Odin’s son.”

There was a barely perceptible clenching of Loki’s jaw. “He is my brother.”

“Oh, awesome!” Tony exclaimed. “It must be cool to have a brother. It’s like. . . a friend you were born with.”

A brief pause. “Something like that.” Loki gently steered the conversation away from that subject, “So you are very rich?”

Tony shrugged, jumping topics immediately. “Can you teach me how to do magic?”

Loki blinked, “Uh. . . I’m afraid not. Humans do not have the capacity to use the type of magic that Asgardians wield.”

Tony looked truly crushed. “Oh.”

“But it sounds as though you already understand the way this world’s magic works better than I.”

Tony frowned, “What?”

“Electricity, or technology, as you called it,” Loki explained, “is this world’s magic. You seem to be quite the sorcerer with it.”

“Wizard,” Tony corrected absent-mindedly.

“Pardon?”

“Wizard with technowledge. It’s a saying.” Then he froze, “Wizard is someone who uses magic.”

“Oh.”

“Technology really is our magic, isn’t it? And we even knew it, somewhere along the line!” Tony exclaimed, smiling hugely. “So I’m a wizard? Or, what did you call it, a sorcerer?”

“Or a mage,” Loki nodded, despite being uncertain why he sounded like it was such a great revelation. “That is what users of magic are called on Asgard.” A brief pause. “It is not. . . a dishonorable thing here then?” he asked carefully.

“What, being a wizard with computers? No,” he grinned, “people think it's great. Although sometimes we’re called nerds.” Then he lowered his voice, “But the last person who called me that found a surprise in their locker.” He winked.

Loki looked pleased. “What did you do?”

“Airhorn,” Tony giggled. “He’s like five years older than me, and he wet his pants. It was  _ awesome _ .”

Loki grinned, “Sounds like you are quite the trickster yourself. Perhaps I could suggest some more ideas?”

Tony’s eyes lit up, “Prank ideas from the fucking God of Mischief? Yes, please!”

Loki frowned, “There you go with that word again. What does it mean?”

Tony stared and then sighed, “You know, you could have done some research on your own.”

“I do not have access to this. . . internet of yours,” Loki reminded him, “and most of the books and scrolls in Father’s library do not concern themselves with the vulgarities used on other planets. Which I assume this is?”

“Yeah. It means. . . well, fuck means to have sex with someone. I assume you know what that is?”

Loki rolled his eyes, “Yes, child. Though I wonder what kind of society it is in that  _ you _ know what it is.”

Tony stuck his tongue out at the god. “Anyway, when I used it like the way I was, it just puts emphasis on something. The same way as saying freaking, or bloody, or something like that. It’s just. . . vulgar.”

“Right,” Loki responded dryly, “and you, a child, use it because?”

“Would you quit calling me a child?” Tony pouted, annoyed.

“You are a child.”

“I’m smarter than most adults- on this planet or any other one,” he responded.

Loki smirked, “Not smarter than me.”   


“You didn’t know what fuck meant.”

Loki rolled his eyes and then glanced around. He returned his gaze to Tony’s with an arched eyebrow, “Where are we?”

“Hm? Oh, this is one of my dad’s summer homes. I’ve only been here once, but I kind of liked it.”

“It seems. . . pleasant.”

“What’s Asgard like?”

“Asgard is. . .” Loki sighed, “big. Gold. Loud.”

“Sounds. . . interesting?” Tony tried. “Do you like it there?”

Loki shrugged, “I. . . . It is home.” When Tony waited, he eventually expounded, “I don’t like the palace. Everything is gold and metal and harsh. There’s no room for anything that doesn’t confine to its very rigid standards.” Then he smiled, “But there are the gardens, and the rivers, and the great ocean that flows off the edge of the world. There are the libraries, with rows of books larger than anything you have ever seen. There are stables and meadows and forests, with massive, sweeping trees that you can climb all the way to the top. There are open plains where the wild horses run.” There was a pause. “It is beautiful,” a smaller smile, “and it is home.”

There was silence for a long moment. “Sounds really nice,” Tony said softly. “Will you be king someday?”

Loki snapped his head up to look at Tony, stunned for a long moment. Then he shook his head. “No. Thor is the elder.”

“Is he a good guy too?”

Again, Loki just stared.

“Loki?” Tony tried, confused. “Are you okay?”

The god shook himself, “Yes, fine. Sorry. Thor is. . . Asgardian. He is big and loud and golden. He fits in there very well, and will be a good king.” Before Tony could say anything else, Loki looked up, “Dawn is coming.”

“Damn. That wasn’t as long as last time,” Tony muttered.

“You probably took longer to dream tonight,” Loki explained.

“Will I see you tonight?” Tony asked as the light of dawn moved towards them at an increasingly rapid pace.

“I will try, but the spell is not perfected. Until we meet again, Tony Stark.”

“Yeah. Later, Loki.”

The last thing Tony saw before he woke was the faint smile of the green-eyed god.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, and one more thing- I have the first ten chapters of this story written already, so I plan to update consistently every week. Hopefully, I'll be able to keep up that schedule, but there are no guarantees. Thanks for reading! Comments will be gushed over.


	2. Give me a scotch; I'm starving

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, first, thank you all for the comments, and the kudos, and the comments, and the bookmarks, and especialy the comments. :) Seriously, you guys are the best, and I love you all. Also, since it is officially the next week and I'm impatient, here's the next chapter already. I hope it doesn't disappoint.
> 
> Next, I would like to thank plumadesatada. She is an amazing writer who delves into her characters much deeper than most, writing more than just shameless smut. I must confess that since it is smut that often draws me to a thing, it took me far too long to read her fics, but I got there eventually. :) In particular, I have long been in love with her work "Abyss", from which I have drawn much of my information concerning Tony Stark's past that you see in this chapter and the last. Without her and some of the other frostiron writers, I probably wouldn't even be aware that Jarvis was a real person before he was an AI.
> 
> Thank you, Pluma! You and your works are awesome.

The following few weeks and months were some of the best of Tony’s life. Every night, even after Jarvis returned, Loki would come into his dreams, and they would spend the night talking. He told Loki all about everything he knew about Earth’s (or Midgard’s, as Loki called it) magic and engineering, and Loki told him about the Nine Realms, about Yggdrasil, about Asgard. 

He told Tony of the beasts called Frost Giants who were the mortal enemies of the Asgardians. He told Tony about Thor’s arrogance, about his fears as to what would happen to Asgard when his older brother took the throne.

Tony told him about Howard’s drunken fits of rage, about the friend and mentor he had in Jarvis. He told him about the projects he had, the robots he wished to build.

And time ticked onwards.

It had been a little less than nine months since the first time Tony had accidentally dropped into Loki’s dream when it all just stopped.

A normal day had come and passed; Tony had raced off to bed at what had become the normal time for him, eventually drifting off to sleep. He had dreamed about his normal house, something that had happened before, only instead of Loki showing up and making him forget all the bad things that had happened, Howard was there. And he was yelling and throwing things.

Tony woke up crying for the first time in nine months.

Confused, sure that Loki was just staying up late, Tony went back to sleep. Loki didn’t come.

He had left.

For the next week, Tony kept trying, kept hoping that Loki would come back, but he never did. The nightmares came back, only worse. Loki had abandoned him, just like his mom. A few years later, just like Jarvis.

He went away to MIT and made a new friend- his name was James Rhodes, but Tony just called him Rhodey.

He had one dream with Loki while he was at MIT, early into the year, but it wasn’t like the old ones had been.

They were standing in the darkness, like when Tony had gone into Loki’s dream only without the blue swirling energy. Loki had looked like some kind of crappy holographic projection from Star Wars; he kept flickering in and out of existence. It sounded like he was trying to say something, but Tony couldn’t hear any of the words.

He’d almost cried after that dream, but he had promised himself he wouldn’t cry again after Jarvis died, and he wouldn’t start now just because he had had a real dream with the stupid Norse God in it. Loki was just a figment of his imagination. Tony had done everything he could to convince himself of that. It was easier to believe that he’d had a brief break with reality when he’d been nine than it was to cope with the fact that Loki had left him.

_ Just a dream. _

He tried to ignore the memories of Loki when he programmed his AI, remembering his boast that someday he would make the very first real artificial intelligence. He tried to pretend that when he designed the machine that was meant to be an homage to the only man who had really loved him to have an English accent, it wasn’t because he kept imagining a tall, dark god in green leather.

He pretended that he didn’t look for a flash of slick black hair and sharp green eyes in the crowd when he accepted his second master’s degree from MIT. He denied the fact that when the news came of his parents’ car accident and death, he had gone straight to sleep hoping to see the towering god in his dreams. Vaguely, he realised that Loki probably wouldn’t seem quite as tall to him now that he was nineteen as he had ten years ago.

Slowly, the memories of his first and best friend faded, but they never completely left. Tony tried to erase them, Loki and Jarvis, with drinking and women. Lots of both.

Obadiah Stane became his business partner, his friend, the father he had never really had.

He finally accepted his heritage and started building weapons. The memories faded, but they never disappeared.

This was clearly evidenced by the time he brought home a guy and ended up calling out Loki’s name in the middle of sex. The guy actually hadn’t minded that; they’d both just been there for a quick fuck- why the hell should he care who Tony was imagining? Tony cared, though. Or the time he brought home this really pale girl and kept imagining her with long black hair instead of the blonde hair she had. The green eyes hadn’t helped.

At least Loki had never drank with him; at least that was one thing he could do without the ghosts.

He was drunk one night in the penthouse of his tower when he caught his reflection out of the corner of his eye. Goatee, fancy suit, bottle in his hand- he looked like his father. The realisation startled him hard, and he threw the bottle at the glass just in time for Rhodey to walk into the room. The ghosts even came back when he drank.

“Tony, you have to at least make an appearance,” Pepper told him in that long suffering tone she used when he was being particularly petulant.

“Pepper,” he whined, dragging out her name and giving her big puppy eyes, “I don’t wanna go.”

“I don’t care; the limo will be here at eight, and you will be inside it by eight oh five. Are we clear?”

Tony sighed, “Yes, mam.”

“Good.” She exhaled heavily, glancing around the half-demolished workshop. “Did something blow up down here?”

“Several things, actually, Miss Potts,” JARVIS answered with that fucking irritating English accent. One of these days, he was going to change that. “Mr. Stane is calling, Sir, and you have five missed calls from Colonel Rhodes.”

Tony sighed, “Send him to voicemail.”

“Tony,” Pepper started.

“I’ll go to the damn party, Pepper, but you don’t get to butt into my personal life,” Tony snapped, despite knowing that she deserved better than that. She needed to get a boyfriend. He would feel better about mistreating her if she had a boyfriend.

“Yes, Mr. Stark,” she responded quietly. “Will that be all?”

“That will be all, Miss Potts,” he sighed. He should call out to her. Say he’s sorry, or say something to make it better, or just say  _ anything _ \- but then the door closed behind her and she was gone.

“Summarize Rhodey’s messages for me, Jarvis.”

“In summary, Sir, he calls you a moron and asks for you to call him back.”

“Right,” Tony muttered. Then he glanced around his workshop. “J, forward all calls straight to voicemail.”

JARVIS sighed. “Yes, Sir.”

“Come on, DUMM-E, we’ve got work to do!”

(0)-(0)-(0)-(0)-(0)

The party at which Pepper had demanded he make an appearance was one of those absurdly pretentious cocktail parties with lots of rich people, fancy champagne, and the press who always liked to hurl accusations at him. He waved to the cameras, flashed a patented Stark grin, and then made his way straight to the bar to order something a lot stronger than the bubbly drinks everyone else seemed to have. He didn’t know how people survived these things without hard liquor.

“Are you the famous Anthony Stark?” a smooth, incredibly sexy, male voice asked, and Tony immediately thought that maybe tonight wouldn’t be such a waste if the body matched the looks.

He turned with a grin, his eyes already preparing to check the guy out from behind his shades. “Indeed I am, and you are?” He froze as soon as the words left his lips, his gaze meeting with those of a figure in a black suit who was slouching against the bar. He wore a gray vest under it with an emerald tie.

The man’s perfect lips curled up in a sinful smile, and suddenly his voice changed from American to holding an English accent. “Loki Odinsson,” he leaned down, his breath washing over Tony’s ear as he whispered, making him shiver, “but my friends call me the God of Mischief.” 

Tony jerked away from him, his breath coming in quick, heavy pants. “You- you can’t- you’re-”

“Your drink, Mr. Stark,” the bartender interrupted, placing the shot glass down in front of him.

Tony really needed that drink, but before he could grab it, long, slim, wicked fingers snatched it off the napkin and knocked it back in a single motion.  _ When the hell did he learn how to do shots? _ Tony’s eyes locked on the smooth expanse of pale throat as the figment of his imagination swallowed.

“You have good taste,” Loki complimented, and then turned that ridiculously attractive smirk on the bartender. “Mr. Stark will have another.”

The bartender looked more amused than anything else, probably at Tony’s apparently shell-shocked behavior, but he didn’t even ask for Tony’s permission before moving to do as he was told by the Norse God.

“You aren’t real!” Tony hissed, finally managing to get the words out, his hand twitching as it wanted to go for a drink that wasn’t there.

Loki sighed, rolling his eyes, “Oh, come now, we’re not back to that are we? I did tell you that one day I would have to come in person to prove that I was real.”

“Is this a fucking joke to you?” Tony growled, growing more and more pissed by the second. “You disappeared twenty fucking years ago!”

“You should lower your voice,” Loki admonished softly, those insanely green eyes flickering over the nearby rich people who were giving them odd or disapproving looks. “Have a drink,” he gestured, and Tony didn’t hesitate to obey, tipping the glass back without a second thought.

Loki looked amused. “Perhaps you ought to just leave the bottle.” It took Tony a second to realise that he was talking to the bartender, who, once again, did as he was asked. What was it with people just  _ obeying _ Loki?

_ Prince _ , he was reminded unhelpfully. He poured another drink himself, knocking that one back too.

“Don’t drown yourself,” Loki smirked.

_ Damn him! _ “I’m a fucking grown man, and I’ll do whatever I damn well please,” he snapped back.

“I see your mouth has only grown more foul since you were a child,” Loki sighed. “I can’t honestly say I’m surprised.” He stole Tony’s glass this time before he could drink it, taking the shot himself.

Once again, Tony felt helpless to do anything but watch. It was like Loki just  _ oozed _ sex.  _ How could I not have noticed this before?  _ Tony thought to himself. Probably too interested in the whole alien aspect.

“As for you being a grown man, I’ve noticed,” his eyes glittered, “and suddenly your reputation makes a great deal more sense.”

Wait, was he flirting? “Back alley,” Tony growled, “now.” He needed to yell; he needed to yell things that would get him thrown in an insane asylum if anyone heard him.

“My, you do work quickly.” He was still wearing that infuriating smirk. “Lead the way.”

Tony downed a final glass and then started forging his way through the crowd. He could sense Loki directly behind him; the god seemed to radiate a cooler temperature than the surrounding air, which was something that hadn’t been in the dreams.

They were almost to the door when Obadiah walked over to him, his hand landing on his upper arm. “Tony, you can’t just leave,” he hissed.

“As I just finished informing this bastard,” he growled, not in the mood to put up with their patronizing, “I am a fully grown man perfectly capable of making my own fucking decisions. Now get the hell out of my way.”

“Tony, all I want is what’s best for you,” Stane tried.

Loki frowned, promptly pushing his way past Tony and leaning down next to Obie, whispering something that Tony couldn’t hear- which just served to piss him off even more.

Loki pulled back and gave a very shark like smile, “Trust me, that is not something that you want.” Grabbing Tony’s hand, he pulled the engineer out through the back door to the alleyway, leaving the older human stunned behind them.

As soon as they were outside, Loki let go of Tony’s hand and turned to face him with that irritating smirk plastered on his face.

Tony hit him- right square in the jaw.

Loki’s head snapped to the side, but there was no other injury on him. He just looked surprised as he turned his green eyes to gaze at the bearded man, eyebrow arching as he did so.

Tony, on the other hand, hissed in pain and jerked his hand limply by the wrist. “Fucking hell,” he hissed, “what are you made out of? Diamond?”

Loki promptly grabbed his hand and a wave of coolness washed through it. When it had passed, the pain was gone. “Asgardians are not nearly as fragile as humans,” he informed Tony, dropping his hand once again as soon as he was done. “What was that for?”

“You disappeared! And then you just show up like nothing had happened?” Tony refused to let the weird feeling settling in his gut at Loki’s touch, or the fact that the god had apparently healed him, interfere with the fact that he was  _ pissed _ . “What kind of bastard does that?”

A shadow briefly passed over Loki’s eyes, but it was gone so fast that Tony thought he might have imagined it. “Time does not work the same for Asgardians, though I do apologize for the lack of forewarning. I was. . . otherwise occupied.”

“Time seemed to work the same damn way when we met every fucking night!” Again, apologies were not going to make him any less furious. Though some of him did wonder if he were, perhaps, more angry at the part of himself that had already forgiven Loki and gone back to being friends with the god. And then there was his libido, that didn’t really care if he forgave the man or not so long as they ended up fucking by the end of the night.

Loki gave a slight sigh. “I. . . have no explanation, Tony.” He lifted his gaze to meet Tony’s and the sheer depth of sincerity shocked the mortal to the core. “I can only offer my apologies. If that is not enough, then perhaps I ought to return to Asgard.”

“No,” Tony quickly objected. “I mean. . . unless you have to go.”

Loki’s lips twitched upwards in a smile. “Not right this moment, no.”

There was a moment of silence, and Tony shifted uncomfortably. “So. . . how have the last couple of decades been? Is Thor king now and Asgard destroyed?”

Loki scoffed slightly, shaking his head, “No. Nothing has really changed, per the norm for Asgard. We remain forever the same.” He shook his head, “Sometimes I envy human’s mortality. The lack of longevity forces them to change, to adapt. To be different- better.” Then he sighed. “What of you? I understand a great deal has changed.”

Tony shrugged, but his mind was reeling with all the things he could tell his best friend now that he had returned. A very large portion of him wanted to go right back to the way that things had been, pretending that Loki hadn’t left at all. “I created my AI. His name is JARVIS; he’s programmed into basically everything that I own.” There was a brief pause, and then he pulled out his phone, “Including this; hey, JARVIS?”

“Yes, Sir?” the electronic, English voice came from the speaker.

“Say ‘hi’ to Loki.”

“Hello, Master Loki,” JARVIS said obediently.

Loki was grinning from ear to ear. “Hello, JARVIS,” he responded immediately, turning to Tony. “May I see him?”

“This is just a phone,” Tony told him, and then added, “he doesn’t have a body.”

Loki rolled his eyes, “I know that, child, I meant the computer code you were always talking about. May I see  _ him _ ?”

And Tony understood. “Oh! Yeah, sure, I can pull up most of it at the Tower.” He paused, “Uh, Stark Tower, it’s-”

“The massive building with your name on it,” Loki responded wryly. “I noticed.”

Tony shrugged a bit sheepishly. “Sorry; I wasn’t sure if you just, I don’t know, magicked here or something.”

Loki laughed softly. “Well, in a manner of speaking, I suppose I did. When can we go see your Tower?”

Tony waggled his eyebrows, “Now who’s moving fast?”

Loki smirked, “You’re not the only one with a reputation, you know.”

For some reason, that irked him. “Oh, really?” Tony growled, stepping into the god’s personal space. Damn, he was still  _ really _ tall. So not fair. “Care to prove it?”

He had the brief pleasure of watching Loki’s eyes widen in surprise before the Trickster was cornering him back against the alley wall with his taller frame. “Anytime, Stark,” he whispered, his voice sending shivers down Tony’s spine as he brushed his lips over Tony’s ear.

Before Tony could do something highly embarrassing, like whimper, or come in his pants like a teenager, the door behind them swung open and Loki was off of him in the space of time it took to blink, standing instead a much more reasonable distance away and looking completely unruffled. He really was a bastard.

It was Pepper, and even though Loki had removed himself from Tony’s immediate proximity, it wasn’t hard to guess what they had been doing. Even if they hadn’t actually been doing anything. Regardless, she looked at Tony’s slightly rumpled shirt and hair, took note of his heavy breathing, and blushed. “Uh. . . I was just making sure you weren’t back here throwing up or anything. I’ll leave.”

“Pepper,” Tony called, stopping her.

She froze, halfway inside, and didn’t turn. She was probably worried he was going to ask her to join in. He’d done that once, but he had been  _ really _ drunk.

He hesitated, not entirely sure why he called out for her to stop, except that he still felt bad about the way he had snapped at her earlier at the Tower. “Is it alright if I leave early?” he decided to ask.

She smiled slightly, turning back to face him. “Yeah; you just needed an appearance. I’ll call the limo.” She hesitated, “Will. . . you be having company?”

Tony paused, glancing at Loki with an arched eyebrow.

Loki swept forward with a charming smile, “Assuming that’s permissible, Miss Potts, isn’t it? I understand you’re the only thing that keeps Tony alive, and for that I thank you.” He offered his hand, and when she took it he brought it to his lips and kissed it instead of shaking it. Tony had to fight away a weird flash of. . . something. . . when his lips brushed her skin.

She blinked in surprise, and Tony could see her throwing out all her presumptions about Loki on the spot. “Uh. . . you’re welcome, Mister. . . ?”

“Silver; Lucas Silver. I’m an old childhood friend of Tony’s. Please do forgive me for dragging him away so abruptly; it’s been over fifteen years, and we simply wanted a quieter venue to catch up.”

“Oh! Yes, it’s no problem,” Pepper quickly assured, blushing slightly. She was already charmed, Tony noticed with a mixture of amusement and annoyance. There may have also been a hint of admiration. “So you’ll be staying with us at the Tower for a few days then?”

“We haven’t made any concrete plans as of yet.” He glanced at Tony as he said it, and then suddenly leaned closer and stage-whispered, “I think he just wants to show off his tower.”

Pepper giggled- actually  _ giggled _ \- and pulled away slightly. “It seems you know him quite well, Mr. Silver.”

“Oh, Luc, please, and as for knowing Tony- not as well as I used to.” He smiled charmingly again and took a step back from Pepper. “It was a pleasure, Miss Potts.”

“Pepper,” she corrected, “and it was nice to meet you too, Luc.” With that, she departed, her cheeks a few shades redder than when she had first arrived.

“Flirt,” Tony accused as soon as she was out of hearing.

Loki turned back and smirked, “Jealous?”

He scowled, “Of course not.”

Loki just grinned. “After you, Mr. Stark.”

“Why do you keep calling me that?” Tony growled while he led the way through the alley towards the front of the establishment.

“Calling you what? Stark? Isn’t that your name?”

“You used to always call me Tony.”

“You used to be a child,” Loki reminded him, “and that is a child’s name.”

“There’s nothing wrong with Tony!” he objected.

“Your true name is Anthony, is it not?” Loki mused, as though he hadn’t spoken. “Perhaps I shall call you that from now on.”

“My name is Tony!”

“Of course, Anthony, of course,” Loki smiled a purely patronizing smile and then got in his limo without even asking.

Tony grumbled as he slid in next to him. “I think I preferred you when I could just wake up and you would go away.”

“Really? Pity, because I  _ definitely _ prefer you in the  _ flesh _ ,” he purred. The way that he said it should have been fucking illegal.

Tony suddenly felt like he was suffocating in his suit and tie. “Take us back to the Tower,” he demanded of Happy, and then he allowed the driver to roll up the partition between them. In fact, Happy beat him to it by mere seconds. He loosened his tie.

“Too hot, Anthony?”

Tony’s name just  _ rolled  _ off that sinful tongue, and then he made the mistake of looking at Loki and his protest to being called by his full name died on his lips.

Loki’s eyes were smoldering, and once he had Tony’s gaze, his pink tongue slipped out and wet his lips. His pupils were dilated, and there was no mistaking the slightly heavier breathing.

“I think that seeing JARVIS can wait, don’t you?” Tony said softly, his voice suddenly hoarse.

Loki smirked, and Tony just couldn’t take another second of listening to that smart-ass.

He basically threw himself across the limo, ensnaring Loki’s lips with his own.

Loki’s lips were considerably cooler than Tony’s, and they tasted of the scotch he had stolen. He let his tongue sneak out to trace the bottom lip, but Loki didn’t open his mouth.

Instead, a chilly, pale hand slipped down between their bodies and cupped Tony’s groin through his pants, causing the engineer to groan aloud.

Loki’s tongue promptly invaded Tony’s mouth, swiftly winning the battle for dominance with practiced ease.

_ He’s done this before- with a guy, _ Tony thought absently, but he was too busy memorizing the taste of the god to feel jealous over the realisation. Loki’s mouth tasted like the scotch too, only stronger, but beneath that there was a taste that was just him, a taste that was cool and refreshing, like a mountain spring.

Loki’s hand tightened on his pants, and Tony moaned again. This time the sound was swallowed by Loki’s sinful mouth.  _ Gods, he knows how to kiss _ . It had been a really long time since Tony had been anything but in charge of his one-night stands. A really long time since anyone had made him feel inexperienced. But rather than making him feel insecure, with Loki, it just seemed. . . right- to give up control.

Tony was forced to break the kiss to come up for breath, and he did so gasping against Loki’s suit. The god didn’t hesitate for a moment, mouthing at Tony’s neck and sucking at a spot there. Tony threw back his head and let his mouth fall open at the sensation.

Loki helped Tony shed his jacket before pushing him back on the leather seat and leaning down to unzip his fly.

When Loki then paused, Tony looked down and arched an eyebrow in annoyance only to find Loki smirking at him knowingly.

“To think,” Loki whispered, his voice purely lascivious, “there was so little between us this whole night.”

Tony Stark did not blush; Tony hadn’t blushed since the very first time he was with a girl. Even the first time he’d been with a guy, he had been confident enough of where everything went not to be thrown by the man’s rather vulgar mannerisms. But all Loki had to do was open his mouth, and he felt heat rise to his cheeks. “Like you don’t go commando,” he muttered dully.

Loki laughed- not cruelly, but a genuinely amused sound that made Tony somehow proud he had managed to elicit it. “Fair enough,” he conceded, and Tony felt himself grow harder at the confirmation.

Then Loki gently freed him from the confines of his pants, shoving them down just enough to make it more comfortable, and stopped. Again.

Tony bucked his hips up, seeking friction and uncertain what the hell he was waiting for this time. He had just opened his mouth to complain when he was suddenly taken in all at once in that cool, wet bliss. His mouth already open, all the came out was- “Looooooooooki.”

“Oh fuck,” he muttered, seconds later. Daring to take the risk, he opened his eyes and looked down, finding that Loki was somehow still managing to smirk even around his mouthful.

Noticing that he was being watched, Loki winked slowly and pulled up, applying suction as he went. Tony cursed as Loki continued to move up and down- very purposefully, quite clearly putting on a show.

“Exhibitionist,” he chuckled when Loki pulled off for a moment to breathe, unable to put any amount of negative connotation in the words.

Loki, of course, was entirely unphased, actually inclining his head, his swollen pink lips twisting into another smirk as he came right back, “Voyeur.”

“You expanded your vocabulary.”

Loki grinned, “Indeed; I discovered the internet. It really is as wonderful as you claimed.”

Tony laughed, hearing that there was really no guile in his voice, but any response he had was cut off as Loki took him down again. He let out a strangled groan that was probably another mangled version of Loki’s name.

Loki swallowed around him while cool, lithe fingers slipped into his pants to cup and roll his balls around between them. He pulled up, applying suction again, took a breath, and repeated the process.

In such skilled hands, it didn’t take very long. “Loki, I’m-”

“Good,” the Trickster responded immediately, and then he pressed a single cool finger along Tony’s perineum. “Come for me, Tony,” he whispered in that velvety voice of his, and then took him down again and swallowed.

That was it. With a shout muffled by his own arm in his mouth, Tony came, spilling his load down Loki’s contracting throat.

When he came down from his high a few moments later, Loki was sitting in his seat, smirking like the cat that got the canary, the only signs of his doing anything more than simply riding in the car his swollen lips, blown pupils, and the tightness of his own pants.

For his own part, Tony sat up slowly, still feeling rather light-headed as he took a few breaths. “You. . . are really good at that,” he complimented.

“Well I had better be after this much practice,” Loki responded, that insufferable smirk still on his face. Seriously, did he have another facial expression? His eyes were glittering with excitement, though, and Tony grinned at him as he fixed his pants, grateful for a lack of stickiness.

“Shall we?” Tony didn’t wait for an answer, slipping out of the limo and waving cheerfully to Happy who was looking uncomfortable in the front seat, his ears covered by headphones.

Loki was right behind him, and Tony led him through the front doors and into his private elevator.

The doors closed with a quiet ding.


	3. Well, I guess that's worth a closer look

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, thank you, thank you! Again. Your support really means the world to me. :)
> 
> I would like to thank MacBeka for being the one who introduced me to frostiron. I had only recently discovered this site, and I was just browsing through Avengers fics when I found her story, "A Little Too Fertile". It was Thor/Steve, which I didn't care about, but it had the MPreg tag and I was curious. Since it was only one chapter (I really should have looked at the word count), I figured I would see. The story ended up being a great deal of frostiron, and I fell in love with the two of them together. Also, I think I should credit the blowjob in the last chapter to her, because in her amazing series, "The Life of a Billionaire, Playboy, Philanthropist" Loki and Tony have a similar confrontation in the back of his limo at one point. That series remains one of my favorites, even though I discovered I don't really much care for MPreg.
> 
> Thank you, MacBeka! I will forever be indebted to you for introducing me to this wonderful pairing. :D

As soon as the elevator doors closed behind them, perhaps even a little before, Loki was on Tony, crushing him into the wall as he kissed him passionately. The action was hungry and wild, the kiss all teeth and tongue. Loki dragged his teeth across Tony’s bottom lip, eliciting a moan from the shorter man as Loki’s tongue plundered his mouth without resistance, charting the god’s territory.

Tony shifted his body as he was pushed rather uncomfortably up against the elevator wall and slotted one of his thighs between Loki’s legs, pushing against him and giving him the friction he was undoubtedly seeking. That is, assuming alien biology worked anything like a human’s.

He was reassured of that fact when Loki moaned into his mouth, the sound traveling straight to his spent cock and making it twitch in the confines of his pants.  _ Damn human restrictions _ , he thought to himself, wondering if Loki had a shorter refractory period or perhaps none at all. That thought almost made him dizzy.

Tony was jerked back to the present by a sharp bite at his collarbone. “Ow! Hey!”

“I would prefer to have all of your attention,  _ Anthony _ ,” Loki both scolded and purred at the same time. How was that even fucking possible? “If you do not give it willingly,” he suddenly smiled, but it was the smile of a predator with way too many teeth, “I will have to take it.”

It was probably kind of unhealthy that he found that so incredibly sexy. Then again, he was Tony fucking Stark. When had something being unhealthy ever stopped him from doing it if he so desired?

He pushed his lips to Loki’s own, and the god finally allowed him to have slight control of the kiss as he devoured more of the cool taste that was Loki. As they kissed, Tony realised that the elevator had reached the penthouse and the doors were open, so he used the opportunity to steer Loki into his house and towards the bedroom.   


When he was forced to pull back, Loki’s back was against his bedroom door, and Tony took a deep breath before speaking, “I was distracted by all the things I don’t know about alien biology.” His eyes glittered, “This is such a great opportunity for research.”

Loki smirked, amused. “Research, is it, Stark? Well, you had best concentrate fully on your research to make an accurate assessment, don’t you think?”

Tony groaned softly, pushing his face into Loki’s neck and sucking on a mark there. “Don’t have to tell me twice,” he whispered into the hollow of Loki’s neck before biting down- hard.

Loki gave a soft cry at that, his hips snapping forward suddenly seeking friction.

Tony grinned, “Sensitive there, Princess?”

Loki growled at the nickname and switched their positions before Tony could blink, pinning him up against the door. “Do not call me that,” he hissed, his voice surprisingly vehement rather than playful for a moment, and Tony blinked.

“Okay, Lokes, no problem,” he was quick to assure, looking carefully into those green eyes. “You take issue with all nicknames then? ‘Cause that might actually be a problem.”

Loki’s expression faded into a tolerating smile. “I do not enjoy them, but if you are truly incapable of refraining yourself, I shan’t die.”

“Well that’s good,” Tony whispered, leaning forward, “because, as anyone who knows me could tell you, I am utterly incapable of refraining myself.” Loki allowed him to reach his lips-  _ and, damn, if it wasn’t hot that he was being  _ **_allowed_ ** \- but this time the god took complete and utter control.

The taller man kissed with such passion and abandon, grinding his hips into Tony’s harshly in a way that made him gasp, that Tony was left completely out of breath and a little dizzy when he finally released him.

“Door,” Loki commanded, his voice low and gravely in a way that further distracted Tony from the actual word that had been spoken.

“What?”

“Door, mortal,” he hissed, “else I shall break it.”

“Oh! Right! Door,” Tony realised. “Chill, Prin- I mean, Lokes,” he hurriedly corrected himself after seeing the briefly murderous expression cross the god’s face-  _ seriously, what’s the big deal? He even told me he could turn into a girl once _ \- “I’m getting it.”

He fumbled with the knob but it swung inwards after a moment, and Tony almost fell on his ass thanks to the lack of support.

Loki saved him though, a first for Tony Stark, gripping him by his upper arms in a secure grasp that wasn’t hard enough to bruise. It said  _ safe _ , another weird feeling.

The pressure didn’t stay long though, because then Loki was physically throwing Tony onto his bed making Stark’s head spin. “You are really strong,” he decided to state the obvious.

Loki smirked. “God,” he reminded before crawling on the bed on top of Tony, every inch of lean muscle stretching out over him, the perfect image of a tense predator, coiled to strike.

“Of sex?” Tony queried; he just couldn’t help himself. “Because that would actually explain a few things.”

Loki laughed, a low, deep sound that resonated in his chest and made Tony feel oddly warm. Then he leaned down and silenced Tony with another reality shattering kiss. “You talk too much,” he whispered when he pulled back, but the gleam in his eyes negated any possible offense Tony could have taken to the words.

“So I’ve been told,” Tony murmured back, leaning up to ensnare his lips again. Now that Tony was no longer moving at a ridiculously fast pace across his penthouse or dealing with godly mood-swings, the clothing that still covered both of them was getting quite oppressive, and he tugged at Loki’s jacket. It wouldn’t budge, though, because the god’s arms were entangled in his hair.

“Lokes,” he complained when he was finally released to breathe, “too many.” He couldn’t find the air to articulate his frustrations any more clearly, but, fortunately, Loki seemed to understand.

A wave of cold and a flash of green passed over their bodies and when it was gone they were both completely naked. Tony had just enough time to make a squawking sound of surprise before he was completely ensnared by the sheer amount of lean, pale flesh that had just been exposed to him.

He bucked his hips up once, pressing their pelvises together and making them both moan with pleasure. Then he did it again, this time for a different reason, using Loki’s lack of perparation for his action to unbalance the god and switch their positions so that he could truly examine and appreciate the body beneath him. While Loki initially made a noise that sounded a bit like an objection, when Tony wrapped a firm fist around his cock it turned into a deep, low moan that went straight to Tony’s own dick. . . which was actually growing hard again.

Ignoring that for now, he set about mapping out every inch of the god whose mind he had once known as well as his own. He started with the neck, kissing and sucking and nipping until he made his way down the shoulders. He ran his free hand down the smooth, lean arms that held surprisingly thick muscle and spoke of a hidden strength- a strength Tony had experienced first hand that night.

He licked down Loki’s chest until he reached his nipples, flattening his tongue over one and making the god arch up into his ministrations. He smiled and then bit down lightly, scraping his teeth over it. Loki actually cried out at that, and then Tony soothed over the nub with his tongue again before repeating the process to even more pleasing results on the other. The hand that was wrapped along Loki’s member felt precome on the tip as he flicked his thumb over the sensitive head causing the pale man beneath him to writhe. He spread it over the god’s cock to allow him to tighten his grip without making the friction painful.

Tony was far from finished, and he continued to kiss his way down Loki’s abdomen until he reached his hips. He tongued along the bone and sucked a mark there as well to match the ones on the god’s neck before he moved inwards and down towards what should have been Loki’s treasure trail. He gave a slight frown, noticing something that really should have been obvious for the first time. “You don’t grow hair anywhere except your head?”

Loki took a moment to register the question, understandably distracted, and then he gave a half-hearted glare down at where Stark had paused the movement of his right hand. “You felt the need to ask that  _ now _ ?”

Somehow, the god’s impatience made Tony feel better, and he chuckled. “Just wondering.”

“I would think the answer was quite- ah!- obvious.” He hissed when Tony suddenly sucked the head of his cock into his mouth before pulling off with an obscene popping sound. Loki glared down at him again. “Do that again.”

Tony was the one to smirk this time, “Yes, your highness.” For a moment, he feared he had crossed the same line he had when he’d called him “Princess”, but apparently not, as Loki just rolled his eyes at the nickname this time. Deciding that perhaps it was in both their best interests for Tony to occupy his mouth with something else, he took Loki in further this time, wrapping his tongue around the shaft and then tonguing over the slit.

Loki moaned, but his hips remained perfectly still with rather impeccable self-restraint. Not that Tony was complaining. He didn’t do this often, and if the god lost control he was quite certain he didn’t have the strength to do a damn thing about it. Rather than frightening him though, the thought just increased his arousal, and he pushed his hips forward into the bed to try and get some friction for himself.

Wanting to move on to the next stage, Tony pulled up on Loki’s shaft, using his fist to pump most of it while he continued licking around the head. His other hand started to trace gentle patterns over Loki’s thighs and then slip back into the cleft of the god’s ass.

Loki froze, and then all of a sudden Tony found himself being pulled off Loki’s dick by his hair and up to make eye contact with the god. Again, fearful of having crossed some line, he was relieved to find only exasperation, annoyance, and a hint of amusement in those eyes. Along with the very obvious signs of lust and arousal, of course.

“Has anything that happened this night, or during any of our conversations, led you to believe that I would be bottoming for you?”

Tony was having a really hard time focusing on the words. Loki’s hair was ruffled and messy, his eyes were almost completely black with lust, barely showing a hint of green, and his lips were red and swollen from their kissing. Plus, of course, he was completely naked, which was always going to be distracting.

It wasn’t until Loki’s grip tightened in his hair that he registered the fact that there had been a question asked of him. “Uh. . . nothing? No?” Tony tried, uncertain as to what the exact phrasing had been.

Loki rolled his eyes, but looked at least somewhat satisfied with the response. “No,” he confirmed, confidently and effortlessly switching their position back so that he was on top, his eyes growing even darker as he leaned over Tony’s body. One of his hands snaked around to grasp the darker man’s new erection and pump it slowly as he did some weird finger flourish with his left hand before slipping them down.

When they brushed over Tony’s thighs, he felt that they were slick, and he couldn’t hold back his startled exclamation. “You magicked up lube?”

Loki smirked, his swollen lips curling into a sinful expression. “Problem?”

“Not even a little bit. Seems like it might be some kind of-  _ fuck _ \- taboo though.” Tony was suddenly panting as a single finger breached his most private muscle providing a familiar and not entirely unpleasant sting.

“I never exactly asked permission,” Loki responded with a wicked smile as he twisted and moved his finger, searching. His other hand left Tony’s prick for a half-second and did the same thing with the fingers. When it returned it was slick and he both tightened his grip and moved faster.

Tony moaned when he slipped a thumb over the sensitive head, and then bucked his hips as the god put a wicked twist in the motion. Then he arched his back and cried out somewhat embarrassingly loud as a white hot bolt of pleasure went through him, but Tony Stark didn’t do embarrassed-  _ his face was red because he was having sex, thank you very much _ \- so it was just loud.

Loki smirked, clearly quite pleased with himself for having located Tony’s prostate. “Well, aren’t you a sinful sight?” he murmured softly as he added another finger, scissoring them to make room for a third and brushing up against the shorter man’s prostate randomly to equally delicious reactions.

“Me?” Tony laughed, “You should look in the mirror.  _ Oh, sweet, holy gods _ ,” he hissed as Loki added a third finger and started hitting his prostate basically  _ every _ thrust.

Loki laughed, “Just one god, Anthony. Although it does give me an interesting thought.”

Tony managed to wrench his eyes open to stare down at the smirking, naked Loki between his legs. “You can’t be serious. Right?”

Loki laughed again, a deep, truly amused sound that sent a shiver through Tony. “We’ll see,” he responded simply before suddenly removing his fingers and leaving Tony feeling incredibly bereft.

He made a soft sound that was definitely not a whimper at the loss and tried to follow the digits with his hips. When Loki didn’t cooperate, he attempted to buck up into the hand that had stopped moving at some point and was now just holding, but Loki simply loosened his grip so that he got practically nothing from the movement. He let his hips drop and glared openly at the god. “What are you waiting for? A written invitation?”

Loki smirked, “As amusing as it would be to make you do such a thing” -and Tony had a sudden mortifying and insanely hot image of Loki reclining naked on his bed stroking himself while Tony was forced to actually write something out before he could come- “I think not.” Then he suddenly grabbed Tony’s hips and impaled him in one smooth movement.

Tony closed his eyes, his jaw falling open in a silent expression of pure bliss as the burning stretch and the pleasure mixed together in one overwhelming sensation. Normally, he didn’t really like bottoming, but this was. . . something else. His hand reached around to grab his own cock without him even realising it until his wrist was caught by cool, long fingers.

“I don’t recall giving you permission to do that,” Loki hissed softly. The words drew Tony’s eyes to his face, and he froze for a long moment.

Loki’s brow was furrowed with the concentration that it took to hold back and he was panting heavily. Sweat was rolling down the smooth expanse of pale back, and his short, slick hair was sticking up at odd angles. His purely black gaze was staring down at Tony in pure lust and  _ want _ . It was, by far, the sexiest thing Tony had  _ ever _ seen.

After a few moments, Tony felt himself adjust, but Loki was just sitting there, and he needed him to  _ move _ , damn it! He tried wiggling his hips, but the grip the god had on him was too tight. “Lokes,” he tried.

“Yes, Anthony?” His voice was tight with restraint, but his black eyes were dancing with amusement.

“Um. . . I’m good.”

“Are you?” Loki responded, smirking again.

Damn his ridiculous self-control! “Yeah. You can move.”

“Oh?” He pulled back just slightly and then slid back in, barely enough to even constitute a thrust, and Tony whined. “Like that?” he whispered, his breath ghosting over his face.

“Not exactly what I had in mind,” Tony ground out.

“I’m afraid I’ll need more specifics,  _ Anthony _ ,” he purred, clearly enjoying having Tony at his complete and utter mercy.

“Figures that you would be a complete diva,” he muttered, only for Loki to run an incredibly teasing hand over his cock.

“What was that, dear?”

Tony would object to that nickname at a later date. “Move, Loki!”

Loki arched an eyebrow, and the hand disappeared completely, making Tony groan and then buck his hips up helplessly.

“Try again,” the god said evenly before reaching down and running his tongue over Tony’s nipples. When the darker skinned man remained silent, he bit down and Tony jumped and cried out.

“Fuck! I don’t. . . .” His voice trailed off, and when Loki pulled back he tried again. “Fuck me?”

Loki tisked, “So crude.” Then he went over to the other nub and started to repeat the process.

The god’s long, thick cock inside him was pulsing with warmth and heat, his own dick was throbbing with a need to be touched, and Tony felt like he might scream. “What do you want me to say?” he finally yelled when Loki gave a slight, shallow thrust and nailed his prostate.

Loki smirked and leaned down to whisper in Tony’s ear. “I think you know, Stark.”

And, damn it, but he did know. Finally, he swallowed his pride and mumbled, “Please, Loki, move.”

Loki’s face split in a huge grin, and he inclined his head, “With pleasure.”

And then he didn’t just move. He  _ pounded _ into Tony with the sort of abandon that showed just how much of a toll on him waiting had taken. Tony hissed, trying to move his hips to meet the thrusts, but unable to both because of the speed and Loki’s grip on his hips; the god was basically immobilizing his body with one hand. He curled his arms over his head to grab the bed behind him, needing the anchor as Loki moved in and out of him.

He nailed Tony’s prostate  _ hard _ with eerily accurate consistency, until the world eventually just became one massive blur of white hot pleasure. A litany of curse-words intermixed with Loki’s name and  _ more, faster, harder _ fell from Tony’s lips until Loki leaned down and kissed him to shut him up.

The kiss was understandably sloppy, and it only lasted a few moments, but Tony was still left out of breath.

Then Loki’s voice was by his ear, out of breath and panting, finally lacking in some of that control that had always been present. “Can you come like this, Anthony? Just from the feeling of my cock inside of you, just from being fucked into the bed by a god?”

Tony moaned, “I. . . Lokes, I need. . . .”

Loki ran his tongue over the skin under Tony’s ear. “Come for me, Tony,” he whispered. “Come screaming my name so that the whole world down there knows that you’re mine.”

Tony did.

His orgasm hit in him that moment, hard and intense, and one of the best he’d ever had in his life as Loki continued pistoning in and out of him throughout it. He screamed out as it hit, “LOOOOOOOOKIIIII!”, before sagging back to the bed trying to catch his breath.

Above him, Loki’s hips suddenly stuttered in their brutal rhythm, and Tony opened his eyes to meet those black ones above him. “Come on, Loki, come inside me and mark me as yours.” He wasn’t really sure where the words came from; they weren’t his usual dirty talk. But it did seem like something Loki would find sexy, and he was proven right when Loki moaned long and drawn out before spilling himself inside of Tony’s body.

Tony wasn’t sure how, but Loki amazingly had the presence of mind not to fall on top of him and smother him, instead rolling off to the side as he pulled out. Tony winced at the sticky, weird feeling and his own come on his chest, using the sheet to wipe himself off some before throwing it away. Then he just collapsed back on the bed next to Loki and the two of them laid there for several moments trying to catch their breath.

“I wonder if this makes me a child molester,” Loki suddenly mused out of the blue.

Tony groaned, rolling over to smother his face in his pillow. “I am a perfectly legal adult!” he protested, though his voice came out muffled.

Loki snorted, “I’m barely legal."

There was a beat. “I didn’t need to know that.”

“Regardless, that wasn’t my point. I know that you are a fully grown adult male now, but you weren’t when I met you.”

Tony rolled back to face the god, propping himself up on his elbow. “People change. They grow up,” he shrugged.

“Yes, but in my mind I’ve thought of you as a child for these many years. Then I came back and found a fully grown man with a reputation. So I just decided to, as you humans say, fuck you.”

Even under the circumstances, hearing Loki swear like that went straight to Tony’s dick, even if there was absolutely no way that he could go yet again. Right now, that is. Later was an entirely different matter. “Actually, ‘fuck you’ usually means something else,” he pointed out briefly before sighing. “I’m not a kid anymore. And at least I actually know you- seems better than fucking a stranger.” Which was something that he did all too often.

Loki didn’t seem to need the explanation. “Perhaps,” he conceded, but he was staring off at the ceiling like he was deep in thought. After a moment, he spoke again, “We were. . . friends, before, yes?”

Tony blinked at the uncertainty in the god’s voice. It reminded him of how he had first asked the question as an insecure child with no peers. “Absolutely.”

“I do not wish to. . . jeopardise that,” Loki said softly.

Tony smiled, brushing his hand over Loki’s jaw to get him to turn and meet his big brown eyes. “You haven’t. Tonight doesn’t have to mean anything,” he ignored the weird pain in his chest as he said that. “We’re still friends. We are also both adults. Humans do this sort of thing.”

Loki smiled faintly, “So I’ve been told.” He looked briefly like he might want to say something else, but whatever it was, he swallowed it. “So, as your friend, what has your life been like for the past several years?”

“Uh. . . well, my mom came back, not that she was around much still, and then they both died,” he told Loki flatly, rolling on his back to stare at the ceiling, “so I got left with Dad’s company. Pep runs it for me and Obadiah deals with the board. I mostly just make the stuff, sign papers, and do the occasional press appearance. Plus the parties. Rhodey- a friend, he wasn’t at that party- anyway, he’s my liaison with the military. I make them weapons; they fight bad guys; I get money. It’s great fun.”

Loki snorted. “So you. . . create these weapons? May I see them?”

“Sure. They’re in my lab.” His eyes lit up, “Actually, I might be able to use your help with a couple things. Oh, and would it be possible for me to use your magic?”

Loki blinked, “What?”

“Like, with the weapons.” He turned to look back at Loki. “I’m thinking we could make them way more potent.”

Loki looked down. “I cannot. If Midgardians suddenly got ahold of magic, the All-Father would suspect.”

Tony frowned heavily. “And? Why doesn’t he want us to have magic?”

“You have not yet evolved to use it. If you should grow to have that much power, it would be a signal to the rest of the realms that Midgard is prepared for a higher form of war. They would come to fight you, to test your mettle. You would not be prepared.”

“So, if we get our hands on alien stuff, all the other aliens will come to steal it from us?”

“Not steal  _ it _ . Test  _ you _ . Should you begin experimenting with objects of greater magical, or technological, potential, others will think that you have reached the same level as them. Once you cross that line, you become of interest. They will no longer think of you as useless pests who aren’t worth their attention, nor will you be under the protection of Asgard any longer. They will come to see if you are a people who will rule, or a people to be ruled.”

“That’s a really crappy way of doing things,” Tony declared.

Loki sighed, “Perhaps. But it is the way of things, and the All-Father will not have it changed. Allowing you to use my magic in your weaponry would bring nothing but hurt upon you all.”

“So it is possible?”

The god rolled his eyes. “Perhaps.”

“Cool.” Then Tony paused, “Hey, so, I was wondering- what did you say to Obie at the party? He looked like he’d seen a ghost when you were done.”

Loki smirked coldly, his eyes flashing rather dangerously. “Good.”

There was a pause. “That doesn’t answer the question.”

“Brilliant observation, Stark,” Loki responded wryly as he rolled out of the bed. A flash of green and gold covered him and then he was wearing clothes again. Not the suit he had been, but a loose green tunic and his overly tight black leather pants.

Tony blinked, “Hey, where did my clothes go?”   


Loki gestured, and he caught glimpse of them folded neatly in a chair off to the side.

“Oh. Thanks.” A pause. “What did you tell Obie? Why did you want him to be scared?”

Loki turned and looked at Tony for a long moment before shrugging. “It isn’t of great importance.”

“It is to me!”

“Leave it, Stark,” he commanded in a firm voice that brokered no room for argument.

Tony sighed; he didn’t want to piss Loki off and make him leave. “Fine.” Pause. “How comes you said the All-Father would suspect? He would suspect who? of what? How does he know that I haven’t just ‘evolved’?”

Loki rolled his eyes, standing near the window and looking out over the lights of the sleepless city. “Even you mortals understand the fact that evolution takes thousands, sometimes millions of years. As for who he would suspect and of what. . . he would suspect me of meddling.”

“‘Cause you come to Earth?” Tony asked while he slipped out of bed too, stretching his muscles.

Loki flinched, and for a moment Tony was sure he’d been seeing things before the tone of his next statement confirmed it. “He does not know I am here,” he admitted softly.

Tony blinked. “Why not?” He walked around the bed, standing closer to Loki now, but not intruding on his personal space.

“He would not approve.”

There was a long moment of silence. Tony wasn’t sure what to say to that. Loki was back after twenty years even though his practically omniscient king and father didn’t approve. “You like me that much, huh?” It was supposed to be a joke, but the look Loki gave him made it seem far more serious. When the god didn’t speak, Tony tried again. “Is that why you disappeared for so long? Because he didn’t approve?”

Another slight wince. “Yes. . . . I am sorry.”

Tony reached out and laid a hand on his arm, waiting for Loki to turn those bright green eyes on him before offering a smile. “It’s okay.” And he actually meant it. Somehow, in one night, those years of abandonment seemed like they were just wiped away. Not completely, of course, but he really did forgive Loki. Another oddity. “So, why’d you come back now? I mean, how are you hiding yourself from the All-Daddy?”

A weird flash of emotions crossed Loki’s face at that nickname, ranging from amusement to disgust and for a moment he actually looked insulted. Eventually, he seemed to just decide not to address it. “My magic,” he explained simply. “I once told you that Asgard does not change. They have also forgotten many of the old ways. In my studies, I came across things that not even the All-Father remembers, including ways to come to Midgard without using the Bifrost and to keep myself hidden from Heimdall. I have also discovered new things, spells never before brought into being.” There was no mistaking the pride in his voice, and Tony could hardly blame him. It sounded really impressive.

“Bifrost. . . that’s the rainbow bridge, right?” He had a hard time not cracking up like he had the first time Loki had mentioned it. “And Heimdall’s the creepy watcher dude?”

Loki smirked, “Yes, though I doubt he would take kindly to being called such.”

“So he can’t see you?”

“No.”

“Can he see me?”

Loki blinked and then nodded. “Yes, but only because there is no need for him to pay too much attention to you. Should he do so, he would find his abilities somewhat. . . hampered.”

“Awesome,” Tony said, and he meant it. “Won’t they miss you though?”

Loki just shook his head.

There was a pause.

“So. . . may I see your lab? And JARVIS?” Loki tried. “I. . . do not have very long here.”

“Oh. Yeah, I mean, of course.” His excitement at showing off his lab was severely dampened by the news that Loki had to go. “How much time?”

Loki considered for a moment. “I should probably leave at dawn.”

Tony cracked a half-smile, “Just like old times, huh?”

Loki smiled back, but it held the same sadness that Tony’s was pretty sure his had.

“So. . . is this. . . for good then?” Tony made himself ask as he pulled on some sweatpants. “Was this goodbye?”

“No!” Loki immediately objected. “I mean, unless. . . you do not wish me to return.”

“NO! That’s not what I meant at all.” Tony grinned, “So you can come back?”

Loki returned the gesture and nodded, “Yes. I cannot say exactly when, but hopefully soon. Would it be permissible for me to simply teleport directly to your tower?”

Tony blinked. Teleporting. Right. “Uh. . . sure. Or my house at Malibu. Can you find that?” When Loki nodded, he continued, “Just, you know, not in front of other people. I do occasionally have visitors.” Something occurred to him then, “Oh, hey, JARVIS?”

“Yes, Sir?” The AI responded obediently, his voice resonating from the walls.

Loki’s grin widened.

“Assign Loki class five status.”

There was a pause. “Please confirm this request, Sir.”

Tony frowned, arching an eyebrow at the ceiling, “Uh. . . why?”

“It’s built into the protocol. I am to ascertain first that you are not “bat-shit drunk” before assigning any of your visitors to class five status.”

Loki chuckled and then asked, “What is class five?”

J, traitor that he was, answered before Tony could, “A level of security clearance directly beneath Sir’s. You would be the first person in this category.”

Loki turned to Tony with a massive smile that made him look many years younger. “I’m honored,” he said seriously, but the grin rather negated from the serene words. Tony wasn’t quite certain if he were being mocked or not.

Tony blushed slightly and shrugged it off. “I just want to make sure that you can ask Jarvis to tell you where I am and get access to the lab is all,” he muttered before turning back to the ceiling. “So, how, exactly, do I prove that I’m not bat-shit drunk?”

“You must verbally give me the password, Sir, without mangling it.”

Tony muttered something incoherent.

“Sir?”

“She sells sea shells by the sea shore!” he yelled, enunciating clearly.

Loki started laughing.

Tony glared at him.

“Password confirmed. Loki Odinsson has now been assigned to class five.”

“Thank you, you good for nothing-”   


Loki silenced him with a swift kiss and then stepped back with a wicked smirk before addressing JARVIS. “In the presence of those beside Mr. Stark, I would request that you refer to me as Lucas Silver.”

“Of course, Mr. Odinsson.”

“And otherwise Loki is fine,” the god corrected.

“Loki,” JARVIS echoed.

“What’s with this Lucas Silver nonsense?” Tony asked as he left his room, Loki trailing behind him.

“As you once so politely informed me,” Loki began wryly, “my name is rather unusual. It seemed more prudent to use another among Midgardians.”

“I’m a Midgardian,” Tony pointed out.

Loki smiled slightly and slipped up behind him, leaning down to whisper in his ear. “Perhaps it would be more accurate to say Midgardians with whom I have not  _ fucked _ .”

Tony shivered. “Fair enough.” He got in the elevator and they descended to the lab. “I’m down here most of the time, or at the one in Malibu, and, generally, other people aren’t allowed, so you’d probably be safe teleporting in here.”

“I will simply mask myself with invisibility when I first appear to make certain I am not seen.”

Tony blinked up at him and then nodded. “Or you could just do that.”

Loki smiled as they stepped out of the metal box and into Tony’s lab.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so, now I need to address a couple of discrepencies.
> 
> First, apparently I missed an instance in the first chapter where I said that Tony's mom had died before the car crash. (I went back and fixed it now.) I had meant to change that because after watching CIvil War it became important for me to stick to cannon there. So, please ignore any errors I made; they both died in the car crash, just like in cannon.
> 
> Second, it has been brought up a couple times that in Iron Man 1, Tony spends most of his time at Malibu and we don't know if Stark Tower even exists yet. I'm assuming that it does, and since the events of this chapter and the last didn't actually take place in any of the movies, I don't feel like I've broken any rules. However, there may be some unintential discrepencies with the first Iron Man because I don't own the movie, it's not on Netflix, and I can't find a script online. For some portions, I found video clips of it online and watched them with my writing, but for the most part I relied on memory. I'm not perfect, and I haven't seen the movie in a while, so please bear with me.
> 
> Anyway, I hope this clears up most questions about Stark Tower and the first movie. I really wasn't trying to depart from cannon most of the time, except at clear points where Loki being there changes things. I appreciate your understanding. :)


	4. I don't have anyone else

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Birthday to the smartest, kindest, overall best (not to mention most attractive) superhero ever! This isn't exactly the best chapter to be posting on Tony Stark's birthday, but I'm hoping I can post a one-shot with some feels too. :)
> 
> Thank you all, once again, for your comments and support. They mean the world to me, especially since I've been kinda down this week. Thanks for making my days brighter!
> 
> I would like to thank usedupshiver. Not only did her fantastic fic, Meant to be Mine, give me the idea of Thor having to tour the Nine Realms before his coronation, but her series, Drowning Sorrows, has long been a favourite of mine. I absolutely adore her writing, and her series, Sure, is one of the few stories I've read that has actually made me shed a tear. I could literally go through all of her frostiron works and list how much I love them, but I will spare you that. Suffice it to say that she is an absolutely brilliant author, and that if you like frostiron (or winteriron and/or stony) you should really go read her stuff.
> 
> Thank you, usedupshiver! I'll never get over how amazing your writing is.

Tony was happy. He didn’t think he had been this happy. . . maybe ever. He had just spent the last three hours talking with the God of Mischief about science and magic, showing him his various projects and the painstakingly coded source of JARVIS. He hadn’t had that intelligent of a discussion in  _ years _ . Probably not since the last time he had talked science with Loki almost two decades ago.

For not being a native of earth or starting out with any clue about their technology, the god was a ridiculously fast learner, and it had only taken a few nights of Tony talking to him back when he was a teenager to gather a foundation upon which he readily built. Loki had once told him that physics wasn’t so unlike magic, and that the rules of the universe were basically the same no matter where in the universe you went. He was practically the only person Tony had ever met who had been able to keep up with his own intellect.

Tony sighed, reclining contentedly on an old, ripped couch in his lab. Loki had left just a few minutes ago, but with a promise that he would return as soon as he was able to escape from the watchful eye of the All-Daddy. In the hours previously, he had had some of the best sex of his life and then had proceeded to have one of the most intellectually challenging conversations he’d had in years. He was relaxed, satisfied, and happy.

It lasted for about five minutes. “What’s on the agenda for today, JARVIS?”

“Sir, perhaps you ought to get some sleep first. It has been over thirty-six hours.”

Tony scoffed, “You’re kidding, right? That’s a piddly amount of time. Anyway, I can’t possibly sleep with all the ideas Lokes gave me. What’re we supposed to be doing?”

JARVIS sighed. “You currently have thirty-one missed calls from Colonel Rhodes and sixteen messages. I believe he wishes to discuss arrangements for the upcoming trip to Afghanistan. Miss Potts has left you a message detailing your schedule for the following days. You have a meeting with the board set to take place at three this after-”

“Boring!” Tony cut him off. “Projects, J, I want projects.”

“Don’t you think you ought to at least listen to the Colonel’s messages?”

“JARVIS!”

Another sigh. “Very well, Sir. These are five of the most current Stark weapon designs.”

“Ah, now we’re talking.” Tony grinned, “Now, let’s see about incorporating some of the new ideas. Create a new folder for the modifications I want to make, J. Call it. . . Mischief.”

(0)-(0)-(0)-(0)-(0)

Loki visited often over the next few weeks always leaving before too long. There were lots of awesome science discussions, and even more mind-blowing sex. Tony wasn’t exactly certain when it had happened, but, for some reason, the topic of Asgard seemed to be off limits now that he had returned. Tony would gripe about his meetings, or responsibilities, or sometimes even Pepper, but Loki never spoke of his home anymore. Tony wondered why, but he didn’t ever broach the subject.

Meanwhile, life aside from his visits with the Norse God continued on, and both Obie and the board were getting rather annoyed with him for spending all his research time either sleeping or trying to turn some of the hypothetical ideas he and Loki had come up with into a reality. On the plus side, they no longer had to be concerned with his dragging home random women as his liaisons with Loki kept him more than satisfied. He was pretty sure they were getting suspicious about it, but the god was incredibly good at keeping himself hidden.

The trip to Afghanistan was growing ever nearer, and Tony realised that he should probably tell Loki he’d be out of the country for a few days, just in case the god wanted to visit him while he was gone. He didn’t want to go. But then, he hadn’t much wanted to leave his mansion at all since Loki had come back, always worried that the god would arrive when he was out and that he would miss the opportunity. Another thing that Pepper wasn’t happy about, since he was even more reluctant to make appearances at the various social gatherings he was meant to enjoy.

He was forced into one such party the night before he was meant to leave on the dreaded trip- they wanted to give him an award for something. He didn’t know why they were making him fly all the way out to Afghanistan just to give a weapon’s demonstration, but he supposed it didn’t really matter. A few reporters were at the event, of course, tossing their new names and insults at him. One happened to be a curvy blonde that he normally would have taken home with him. She even seemed to be aware of that fact, flirting with him openly.

But every time he thought about bringing her back to his penthouse, an image of Loki popped into his head, most of them incredibly indecent, and even though they had never exactly said they were in any way exclusive- or even classified what they were doing as a relationship- Tony kept picturing this look of betrayal and hurt on his best friend’s face. So he ended up getting the blonde drunk and then slipping out on her as soon as possible, practically fleeing back to his mansion.

“JARVIS,” he queried once he was safely locked away back in his lab, “why aren’t I in bed with a really attractive woman right now?”

“Because you’ve never asked me to demonstrate that particular ability of mine?” an amused voice came out of nowhere. “Or rather, haven’t made that request since you were thirteen. Tell me, did your thoughts run so quickly down the gutter even then?” There was suddenly a shimmer of green and gold in the middle of the lab, and Loki was revealed, standing there fully clad in his leather regalia.

“Geez, Lokes, don’t do that!” Tony exclaimed, jumping in surprise. “How long have you been standing there?”   


“Only long enough to hear your most recent inquiry, I assure you,” Loki responded, smirking as he came to sit on the corner of the table at which Tony was working, the leather creaking as it bent.

“Quite the gettup you’ve got there,” Tony noted, looking him up and down shamelessly.

Instead of reacting to the leer, Loki sighed heavily, his eyes dropping, and Tony realised for the first time how tired he looked. “The barbarian tribes of Vanaheim decided to try and rebel against Asgard; Thor was sent to stop them.” His armor vanished in a flash of magic, leaving him shirtless and wearing a pair of Tony’s sweatpants instead. “Of course, he ended up causing almost three intergalactic incidents in the process. I’ve been in diplomatic meetings on and off for the past four weeks,” he groaned. “I can’t stay long. The Tribal Leaders are reconvening in five hours, Midgardian time.”

Tony’s eyes grew wider and wider as Loki spoke, and he licked his lips when Loki suddenly changed his clothes. However, by the time Loki finished his tale, he felt more sympathy than lust for the god. “Oh, god, that sounds awful.” Despite it, he felt a little part of him cheering that Loki was actually speaking to him of his home. “What do you need? Nap, shower, massage?” He waggled his eyebrows, “Some stress relief?”

Loki chuckled softly, but not nearly as animatedly as he might normally have. “Intelligent conversation in which I must not watch every word for the barest hint of duplicity.” He slipped off the desk and collapsed on the worn out couch, his eyes slipping shut.

Tony nodded, “Okay, well, these are the designs for my new Jericho Missile, the one I was telling you about? I’m just going over them one last time to see if I can spot any flaws.”

“Oh? Is one of your demonstrations coming up?”

“Yeah,” Tony paused, and then sighed, going to sit on the couch with Loki, picking up the gods legs and settling them on his lap when he was fully seated. “Actually, I wanted to talk to you about that. I’m going to be going away to Afghanistan for a few days for the demonstration. Sorry.”

Loki opened his eyes to look at him, arching an eyebrow. “Why are you apologising for that? I have given you absolutely no information on when I may or may not be dropping by since we started this arrangement.” He breathed a laugh, “My mother would be horrified if she ever learned.”

Tony blinked briefly in surprise. Loki had never mentioned his mother before; of course, neither had Tony. “Your mom, the queen, right?”

“Aye. Queen Frigga,” he smiled softly, sadly, “she is the one who educated me in my use of magic as a child. A wiser woman has never walked the stars.”

“Sounds. . . cool.”

Loki chuckled wearily. “Indeed. But you’re avoiding the subject.”

Tony actually had to think back to remember what they had been talking about in the first place. Then he sighed, “I guess I just didn’t want you wandering around the tower without me. Not that you’re not welcome! I just-”

“Forgot that I would simply ask JARVIS?” Loki queried, amused. Then he smiled, “Regardless, I thank you for your concern. Believe it or not, Stark, I did actually survive without you for several hundred years. I think I shall carry on despite your absence.”

Tony grumbled nonsense under his breath. “Well, pardon me for trying to be considerate.”

“I said thank you!” Loki immediately objected.

“Right, because that wasn’t at all sarcastic.”

“Not at all,” Loki replied smugly. “Much how your previous statement was also one of fact.”

Tony rolled his eyes. “Whatever. I probably should have known better than to get into an argument with the God of Lies.” It was supposed to be a joke, and, in fact, one he had made in the past, yet for some reason this time the comment brought a grimace to Loki’s face.

“Right. Can’t possibly trust a single word that comes from my mouth,” he muttered bitterly.

Tony blinked, “Hey, Lokes, I was kidding. What’s going on?”

Loki sighed, “My apologies, Anthony. I have simply grown weary of every suggestion I offer that one negotiating party does not like leading to accusations being hurled of how I cannot be trusted. Never mind the fact that I’m the only one actually doing anything to further peace- ‘Oh, no, we need the crown prince to insure that his little sorcerer brother isn’t lying!’”

Tony’s eyebrows climbed up almost into his hair as Loki ranted. Seeing how his feet were there, and he needed to do something to make the god feel better, he started gently massaging them. “You know I didn’t mean it like that, though, right? I trust you.” As soon as the words left his lips he marveled at them. Tony had trust issues, always had, ever since the policemen hadn’t believed him when he said that his father shoved his mother down the stairs, and he had ended up with bottle shards in his back when they had informed his father. But he trusted Loki- not the God of Lies, he trusted  _ Loki _ .

Loki got a weird look on his face for a moment, something that Tony could only interpret as surprise and maybe- but that couldn’t be right- awe. Then the mask came back and he just smiled slightly. “I know you didn’t, Stark, and I am grateful for your consideration.”

“Why don’t you get some sleep?” Tony offered. “I promise to wake you before you have to leave.”

Loki blinked at him slowly and then agreed with a slight nod. “Thank you. That would be. . . appreciated.”

Instead of magicking them up to the bedroom like he sometimes did, Loki stood to do it the mundane way, actually leaning on Tony as he swayed when he rose.

_ Geez _ , Tony thought to himself _ , he’s more tired than I realised _ . In fact, tired didn’t even seem to cover it. Exhausted was a more apt description.

Since they weren’t to the bed anyway, Tony couldn’t restrain his curiosity or his concern. “Hey, when’s the last time you slept?”

Loki paused, frowning slightly down at him as he thought. “The last time we were in Asgard,” he finally responded. “I believe it’s been a week? Perhaps two.”

Tony cursed, “Shit, Loki, what were you thinking? I’m hardly a prime example of a healthy person, but not even I pull that kind of stunt.”

“You are mortal,” Loki responded, like that explained everything.

“And you aren’t fucking indestructible! You could have gotten hurt! Haven’t you been fighting?”

The god snorted. “Yes- with my shadowy, female tricks that none of those true warriors could possibly ever need. They all very conveniently forget the times that I’ve saved their lives.” He didn’t even sound bitter when he said it, just like he was stating facts, musing about their comments like he was an outsider.

Tony wasn’t nearly as calm. “What the fucking hell is wrong with those people?” he hissed. He’d always had a nagging suspicion that Loki’s situation at home was less than ideal, but he’d never imagined that they actually belittled his abilities. He was fucking  _ amazing _ . “You’re awesome!”

Loki chuckled at the outburst, but it turned into a sad smile quickly. “You wouldn’t say that if you’d met Thor,” he murmured, sounding like he was half asleep already. “You’d fall in love with Asgard’s golden prince, just like everyone else.”

“Come on, Lokes,” Tony growled, unable to handle this. . . this. . . self-depreciating, depressing as hell shit that Loki was saying. It just wasn’t right- not from the pompous, wise-ass, snarky god that made him beg when they were having sex. “Let’s get you to bed.”

Loki was still muttering, but it had switched into another language, so Tony had no idea what he was saying. He half-dragged the god to his bed and dumped him on it unceremoniously. Loki curled up into a ball on one side around Tony’s pillow almost immediately. It was an odd way to sleep, but it was pretty normal for Loki, so Tony didn’t question it.

He hadn’t slept in a while either, so he pulled off his shirt and slipped into the bed alongside the god, gently stroking a few stray black hairs from his face.

_ Holy shit! _ He was cold as ice. Was that like the Asgardian version of running a fever? He was kind of acting that way, looking like he was hot when he was clearly cold as a frozen hell.

“What do I do?” Tony whispered, completely uncertain. When nothing presented itself, he eventually just laid some blankets on top of the frigid god and hoped that some rest would help. He slept quite fitfully that night.

(0)-(0)-(0)-(0)-(0)

Tony woke to JARVIS’ voice. “Sir, your plane leaves in two hours and you haven’t finished making the adjustments to the Jericho Missile.”

Tony groaned and rolled over, momentarily wondering why half his bed felt like ice until he remembered. Then he bolted upright, “JARVIS, where’s Loki?”

“He left an hour before he was required to, Sir, but I believe he left a note.”

Tony blinked at that; Loki had never left him anything before, yet, sure enough, on Tony’s dresser there was a small sheet of paper with Loki’s distinctive, loopy handwriting.

_ My apologies for running out on you like I did, but you appeared to be resting peacefully. You have my gratitude for allowing me to make use of your bed last night. I will likely not be returning for some time, as Thor is to be making a circuit about the Nine Realms before his upcoming coronation, and I am to accompany him. You have my word that I will come when I am able. I do not remember much of what I said last night, but I would ask that you disregard it. It was simply a long and stressful few weeks. Rest well, Anthony. _

_ Loki _

Tony stared at the note for a long time before tucking it into his wallet as a reminder. Like hell he was just going to forget everything that Loki had said. As much as it had hurt to hear it, he had absolutely no doubt that it had all been completely true. He made a promise right then that if he ever met Thor, he was going to clock the guy right in his perfect face, god or no.

Unfortunately, he was then forced to put the issue of Loki aside. His trip was pressing, and he needed to hurry up and get ready to leave as well as do his last minute adjustments to the missile. He had no doubts that it would do what it was supposed to do; after all, he was Tony Stark. He just needed to actually finish the addition.

He showered and dressed in a suit, finished the final version of the Jericho Missile, and then headed off to the airport and his private jet. Pepper was in the limo, talking to him about this or that. He wasn’t really paying attention. Rhodey met him at the plane and informed him that he was late. He really hadn’t meant to be, but he’d lost track of time in the lab.

The plane ride was smooth, the demonstration equally so. Then he was in a humvee on the way back to the base, trying to get  _ some _ kind of conversation out of the soldiers who had been grouped with him.

Then everything went to hell.

The humvee in front of him was blown up, bullets were flying, and the soldiers were yelling. And dying. It was loud and chaotic, and his heart was pounding in his chest. He had to get out of that car.

It blew up behind him, and he curled up in a ball on the ground only to see- no. It couldn’t be. There, landing a few feet away from him, was a weapon- a missile with the name “STARK” written upon it in bold letters. It blew up, and all he could feel was pain.

The last thought that crossed his mind before the blackness took him was that Pepper was right- he was going to die by his own hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So. . . yeah. Short and very little Tony/Loki interaction. My least favorite parts of this story so far have been the points where I have had to deal with the movie scenes. Writing it was stressful because I just knew I was gonna screw up in some places and that all you awesome people would notice. You have my apologies for all of it. Because of this, I tried to get through them as quickly and concisely as possible, so there will be very little lingering on the movie stuff. I hope none of you mind.
> 
> (Oh, and if Loki seems a little OOC in this chapter, I do actually have a reason for his behavior that will be explained later.)


	5. It's good to see you too

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My deepest thanks to everyone who has commented or left kudos on this story. It means a lot, especially this week, where I was ridiculously swamped. I'm flying out to Texas on Tuesday for the next couple of weeks to visit my sister, but I'll try to keep the updates on schedule anyway.
> 
> Okay, so this chapter is probably not going to be the only one dedicated to IBegToDreamAndDiffer because s/he is absolutely amazing, but we'll start here because Loki's rescue of Tony from the Ten Rings was inspired by her story Casual Affair. It was the first one of her stories that I ever read, and I will someday write an homage to the motorcycle scene in that story because it will never, ever leave me. She writes the best Dark!Tony I have ever seen, and her Loki is pure chaos. I envy her ability to write his mischievous aspect so well. I jump up and down every time she posts an update for her Deal with the Devil fic.
> 
> So, cheers to you! You're awesome!
> 
> Also, thanks again to Chephren, without whom I would not have remembered to post this today. :)

Loki sighed heavily as he slipped onto his bed. Every bone ached with weariness, and every muscle protested the slightest movement. He was exhausted, his powers and abilities stretched thin. The leather armor he wore was uncomfortable and cut into his skin, but as much as he would have loved to rid himself of it with magic, his abilities were at their limit. The familiar feelings of energy withdrawal were going through him now, and he shuddered softly, hating the sensation of helplessness that went along with it. It would take a few days for his magic to restore itself to such a level that he was comfortable once more.

He winced at the memory of going to Anthony’s Tower so weak, practically drunk on the massive amounts of energy that he had used to get himself safely to Midgard. It was harder for him to travel from the other planes without the Bifrost; the natural energies of Vanaheim did not aid him nearly as much as those of his home plane of Asgard. The amount of energy flowing through him that he had used to teleport had left him drunk on the residue of their powers. He barely even remembered what they had spoken of that night.

_ Anthony. . . . _

The plan had been to go visit him while they rested, or, in Thor’s case, partied, on Asgard in between their visits to most of the other Nine Realms. It had been the one thought that had kept him in any form of a pleasant mood while he traveled with Thor and his inane companions. Yet now he was unable to do so. Loki didn’t currently have the energy needed to remove his armor, much less teleport to another planet. Visiting Anthony would just have to wait for another few weeks.

He sighed again, letting his eyes drift shut despite the complaining of his back from the armor cutting into his skin. Just a few minutes of rest. . . .

There was a soft knock at his door.

Loki frowned and made his protesting body get into an upright position. It had to be his mother. No one but she would be coming to check on him with Thor downstairs showing off his ability to drink massive amounts of ale without collapsing. Why that was an admirable talent, Loki would never really understand.

“Come in,” he called, swinging his legs over the side of the bed and forcing himself to stand.

The door swung inwards softly, but it wasn’t the Queen standing behind it.

Loki’s eyes widened briefly in surprise, and he made himself stand firm with the sort of iron self-control that only came from years in the discipline of magic. “Fandral,” he greeted, keeping his voice neutral.

The blond warrior’s eyes were darting around the room, looking basically anywhere but Loki.

The Trickster arched an eyebrow in amusement at his behavior.

“Prince Loki,” he greeted, his voice mellow. “I. . . uh. . . . You dropped this. On Vanaheim.” He held out his hand, offering Loki a long silver blade of Alfheim fashion. It was curved and well-balanced, meant for close quarters fighting or throwing both, and tempered to channel magical energy for use by mages.

Loki accepted it in surprise; he had indeed lost it during one of the skirmishes. He had wanted to search for it, as it had been a gift from Frigga, but Thor had called the Bifrost before he had been granted the chance.

“Thank you,” he told Fandral politely, briefly swinging the blade to test its balance before tucking it away into the netherspace where he kept the items he liked to have on call. Even that brief flash of magic, such a tiny amount that he used it without thinking, made his vision blurr. Norns, how he hated this!

“You’re welcome,” Fandral muttered, but he didn’t turn to leave. All required reasons for him to be there were gone, but he wasn’t leaving. Something was clearly going on.

Loki was too tired to be sneaky. “Did you want something else?” It was rude, but he felt like he was going to fall over any minute, and Fandral was acting really nervous and out of character. He just wanted him to leave.

“You were telling the truth,” he finally spat, “and I knew you were telling the truth, and I should have said something. I’m sorry.”

There was a long moment of silence while Loki just blinked at him. Maybe under normal circumstances he would have been justly enraged, but feeling as he currently did, like shit, as Anthony would have put it, he just sighed. “A bit late now, don’t you think?” he murmured in response, no judgement in his tone, just resignation.

Fandral winced but he finally met Loki’s eyes. “If you ask me to, I’ll bring it before the court. If you substantiate my accusation, maybe the All-Father will listen.”

“And if I decided to keep my mouth shut?” Loki challenged, the unspoken, “like you did” hanging in the air.

To his credit, this time the warrior didn’t flinch away. “I suppose I would deserve that, wouldn’t I?”

Loki sighed wearily again. “Don’t.” When Fandral looked confused, Loki expounded, “Don’t bring it up again, to anyone, anywhere. The damage has been done, and it’s in the past.”

“But. . . he’s still here,” Fandral protested, sounding shocked.

Loki’s jaw clenched. “And if he ever tries anything again, I will rip out his own heart and feed it to him,” he growled. “Consequences be damned. He knows that.” Then his lips twisted into a bitter smile, “After all, I’d love to see what kind of  _ appropriate _ punishment Father would think of for that crime.”

Fandral still looked like he didn’t know how to react to this. “But he deserves-”

“To die,” Loki said simply, “and maybe some day I’ll decide on the right moment to do it. But you came here to apologize- it is accepted. Now if you actually want to do something helpful, don’t ever bring it up again. If you do bring your accusations before Father, I  _ won’t _ substantiate your claim, and then we’ll see how sorry you are while his ravens pick out your eyes.”

Fandral recoiled and then stared at Loki for a long moment. “I. . . won’t bring it up again.”

“Or tell anyone,” Loki added, a sudden thought occurring to him. “Especially Queen Frigga.”

Again, he frowned, “Don’t you want her to know you weren’t lying?”

“No.” He had chosen to bring that subject before the court while she had been visiting relatives on Alfheim for a reason. She would have believed him, no matter what, but then she would have blamed herself. Of all the people in Asgard, she was the one person who wasn’t to blame. He didn’t want her to carry that guilt.

The blond was lost, but he didn’t push it any further. “I. . . okay.” He turned to leave, but paused right before closing the door. “I really am sorry, Loki.”

Guilt was always harder to bear than people thought it would be, especially for those with morals like Fandral. “I know,” Loki responded softly.

“Is there any way-”   


“No,” Loki cut him off. “You are forgiven, but no. This is the extent of things.”

Fandral nodded somewhat sadly before closing the door behind him.

The melancholic mood wouldn’t last. He would go the banquet hall, eat and drink with Thor, find some women, or maybe a man, and in the morning he would forget all about this whole incident. His conscience was now clear.

Loki didn’t even have the energy to sigh anymore. He slowly went through the laborious process of manually removing his leather armor, a smile springing to his lips only when he remembered Anthony’s frustration in trying to get it off him one day when he was feeling particularly unhelpful. Eventually, Anthony had threatened to just go take care of his problem himself, and Loki had relented to getting rid of the armor with magic. Maybe one day he would educate his mortal in the proper way to remove it.

_ Anthony. . . . _

What if Anthony was just like Fandral?

The thought hit him hard in the gut, and Loki took several moments to try and think it through logically.

No, Anthony hadn’t been raised an Asgardian. He didn’t have the bias and background that Fandral had had. He wasn’t afraid of the All-Father. Even though he really should be. Anthony was different. He  _ admired _ Loki, even if only because he had no others against which to measure him save mortals. Anthony wouldn’t betray him. To Anthony, he was a god. He just had to keep it that way, and then the mortal would be his, and his alone.

Loki exhaled heavily and allowed his eyes to slip shut. Everything always felt so warm when his magic level decreased. Then again, people had various reactions to the withdrawal.

His mind drifted away on such musings until his consciousness was lost in the world of dreams and his body absorbed and replenished his lost magic from his surroundings.

_ Soon, Anthony. Soon your god will return to you. _

(0)-(0)-(0)-(0)-(0)

Three months. Three bloody months on Nidavellir doing favors for the dwarves until they finally put their stamp of approval on Thor’s coronation. And how many of those favors had Thor actually done? None. He hadn’t even helped on most of them. Loki would have loved to have let him fail, but in the end that would have just created more work for him as he tried to resolve yet another intergalactic dispute.

So, after three months of running errands for stuck-up dwarves, they had finally returned to Asgard, only to find that the All-Father wanted to send them right off again without a moment’s break.

Loki had made certain to have enough magical powers to take him to Anthony when they were through with the dwarves, and now the All-Father wasn’t even giving them a moment’s respite.

The only redeeming thing about it was the fact that Thor had been just as mad about the whole thing as he was.

“But, Father, why would we have to go to Midgard? They have no influence in the events of the Nine Realms or concerning Asgard.”   


“You must still know their customs and understand their culture in order to properly protect them,” Odin had rumbled.

_ As if he’s been to Midgard in the past two thousand years, _ Loki had thought to himself,  _ and knows anything of their customs. _ In fact, the All-Father had banned all Bifrost travel that wasn’t under his direct approval over the past few centuries. That one might have been Loki’s fault though.

So that was how he found himself dumped in the middle of some Midgardian desert with Thor, the ever irritable Sif, and the warriors three, being told by his brother to take them to somewhere with alcohol. Obviously, they had no intention to learn anything about Midgardians or even make an effort to blend in with the rest of the mortals. Loki clothed them in an illusion in order so as to not raise more attention as was necessary and guaranteed with that group, and then he stayed in the shadows of the dingy bar where he had taken them.

Despite their complaining about the quality of the liquor and scenery, soon they were all drunk and lounging around causing the same amount of ruckus as they would have back at Asgard. The only difference was that Loki had to be within hearing distance and try to make certain no one noticed or cared about their antics.

The small television in the corner displayed the random news, and Loki watched as the time ticked by, his mind far away from that place, wondering what his mortal was doing.

“. . . . In other news, the Stark Industries stock continues to plummet as CEO Tony Stark remains a missing person, presumed dead, after his disappearance almost three months ago in Afghanistan.”

Loki jolted, eyes flying to the television screen in shock and horror. No. “Anthony,” he breathed, the word leaving his lips without his command. His mind in turmoil, he conjured up a bowl and magically stole a bottle of liquor from behind the bar and behind the back of the owner. He poured the cheap whiskey into the bowl and quickly cast a scrying spell.

The reflective surface rippled and fogged before clearing to show the inside of a dingy cave. There was his Anthony, working on some kind of robotic machine with some other stranger Loki didn’t know. As the god took a shuddering breath, the scrying spell slipped from his grasp and the liquid in the bowl rippled and began reflecting its simple surroundings once again.

Loki stood almost instantly and stumbled out of the bar. Anthony was in danger; he was hurt, imprisoned, possibly tortured, and he had been there for the past three months while Loki trapsed around the Nine Realms with his older brother. He had to find him. He had to help him. He had to get him out of there.

“Loki, where are you going?”   


It was Thor’s voice that cut through Loki’s desperate haze to find Anthony, and then a rough hand slammed down on his back.

Loki spun around and pinned Thor against the wall with a practiced ease. His brother put up pathetic little resistance thanks to the fact that he was completely inebriated.

“Get out of my way, Thor,” Loki growled.

“Where are you going? Father won’t be-”   


“Then you can tell him, and I’m sure he’ll find some way to make me rue the day I was born. Move.”

“Loki,” Thor whined, pawing at his arm, “you can’t run away to Alfheim again.”

He rolled his eyes; Thor was way more drunk than he had realised. And on Midgardian alcohol no less. “I’m not going to Alfheim. Get off!” He shoved Thor away from him and back into the wall.

“Why can’t you just be. . . normal?” Thor muttered, leaning on the wall.

Loki froze where he stood and turned slowly back around to look at Thor, regarding him blankly for a long moment. He held his brother’s gaze for several seconds, saying nothing, before calling on his magic and vanishing from Thor’s sight.

(0)-(0)-(0)-(0)-(0)

It wasn’t hard to pinpoint Anthony’s location in this wretched country the mortals had dubbed Afghanistan; at least, it wasn’t for him. Miles away from where all the search teams had been located, Loki found a small base belonging to some group that called themselves the Ten Rings and looked down at it with an icy gaze. These people had taken what was his and for that they would pay.

He dropped down into the midst of their camp, cloaked in invisibility, and found a random soldier who was taking a piss. He grabbed him by the throat, included him in the invisibility and silencing spell so that he could see and hear Loki while no one could view them, and slammed him into the wall.

“Where is the American prisoner?” Loki growled in All-speak, loosening his grip on the mortal’s neck enough for him to speak.

“Cave. Tunnels,” the man gasped.

Loki narrowed his eyes and dove into the mortals’ mind, leaving him screaming in agony as he ripped carelessly through his memories, searching for the exact location of where they were holding Anthony. Once he had it, he extracted himself from the mortal’s mundane mind and squeezed as the man whimpered until his neck simply snapped.

The furious god threw aside the prone body and removed his invisibility spell as he created clones of himself all across the encampment. The men began screaming and running about like frightened animals, bringing their feeble weapons to bear on the many different versions of the god scattered throughout the area. Loki destroyed them all with ease.

One of him cast out a ball of magic and completely incinerated a group of three enemies, melting the flesh from their skin. Another stood on the edge of the camp taking out those who attempted to flee with magically conjured knives. Two of him stood in the thick of things, using magic and blades from the netherspace to take out humans left and right. One more floated above the area and took stock of the situation. This Loki conjured up a ball of fire and heaved at a store of weapons that were sitting in a tent, causing a massive explosion.

The original Loki slipped away from the rest of him and summoned the same blade that Fandral had returned upon their return from Vanaheim. He cloaked himself once more in invisibility and slipped inside the cave to find himself staring at a metal man who was leaning over the captive from the scrying bowl who had been with Anthony. The clunky suit of armor turned, and Loki caught a glimpse of a scruffy beard.

“Anthony,” Loki breathed in a moment of sheer relief, letting his invisibility curtain fall from him.

A version of him outside was promptly stabbed in the leg, through a portion of his armor, and he winced.

“Loki?” Anthony gasped in surprise, a mixture of fear, relief, and doubt playing across those beautiful brown eyes.

Loki wanted nothing more in that moment than to pull Anthony to himself, to take him far, far away from that place and promise him that nothing would ever hurt him again.

But the look in Anthony’s eyes spoke of murder and revenge, and Loki was nothing if not familiar with those things.

He smiled, his teeth flashing dangerously in the light of gunfire coming from outside. “Shall we?”

The face mask fell down on Anthony’s strange armor, and Loki was briefly hit with a flash of recognition. It was crudely crafted to resemble the helmet Loki had made of ice in one of the dreams he had once shared with a young Tony.

_ “I’ll make it someday,” _ Tony had said.

Loki had just never imagined it would be under such circumstances.

Shaking off such musings, the two of them walked outside the cave together. Everything was in complete chaos, but they weren’t all dead yet.

“Kill anything that isn’t me,” Loki told him with a smirk before furnishing all of his clones with thin shields, just in case. “I will protect your flank.”

Anthony didn’t have to say anything; the brutal efficiency with which he proceeded to finish wiping the so-called Ten Rings off the face of the earth was enough.

It was over in less than five minutes.

Loki forced all of his clones into one, not wanting to deal with the backlash of recalling them yet, and turned to Anthony. “I can teleport us-”

“It flies,” Stark cut him off, his voice sounding wrong and metallic as it came from within the suit. “Plus, I don’t want to explain how I magically appeared back in my bed.”

His voice was wrong, Loki thought with an internal sigh. But then again, he had been through a terrible ordeal. Loki didn’t have the naive and unrealistic expectation to think that Anthony would be unchanged by this. He just hoped that, eventually, he might be able to move past it.

“Of course,” Loki agreed, gesturing for Anthony to fly first.

The suit took off rather laboriously, but it did eventually lift itself from the ground. Loki followed fluidly, floating into the sky and following easily and much more gracefully after the bulky metal suit. His other self continued destroying the base because Loki still had some extra emotions to vent.

Anthony’s suit was remarkable, especially built under the conditions that it had been, but it wasn’t made for long term flight. It began falling apart a few miles away from the base, and Anthony plummeted from the sky.

Loki caught him with magic, and gently floated down next to him. “Are you injured?”

Anthony shook his head as he pulled himself into an upright position.

Seeing him clad in the ripped and dirty t-shirt as he was, Loki suddenly noticed something. Something that was just. . . wrong. “Anthony,” he whispered, a hand reaching out gently to touch the glowing circle of light in his chest that had never been there before.

Anthony caught his wrist.

Loki’s immediate reaction to that was to take his other hand and use it to throw the mortal a very long ways from him, but he kept his impulse in check.

Stark swallowed hard. “Just. . . don’t,” he whispered.

Loki gently removed his hand, Anthony’s grip faltering and his own arm falling to his side. For one rare moment, Loki the Silvertongue, the Snake, the Liesmith, had nothing to say. He knew there was nothing he could say. So instead he just gazed into those brown eyes for a long moment, trying to convey everything through that gaze that he could never put into words.

_ I understand. I’m sorry. I will do anything to make it right again. _

_ I believe in you. _

Some form of human machinery flew into sight over head, and both men’s eyes snapped up to follow it. Loki met Anthony’s eyes once more, just briefly.

“It’s okay,” Anthony told him, his voice rough. “Go.”

Loki hardened his eyes; it was the only way he could keep the sorrow and regret from slipping through. “I’ll come back,” he vowed quietly, and then dropped his invisibility curtain.

He remained, unseen, by Anthony’s side until the man was safely returned to his country’s military to be escorted home. Running low on both time and magical ability, he allowed his split mind to come back into one, recalling his clone to himself.

As the mirror of himself merged with his own body, he groaned in pain as all the magic, energy, and strength they had expended took its toll on his own body. He also assumed the injuries of the same, and his leg started bleeding before immediately healing itself. It was the loss of magic, the consequences of his actions, that made him sway where he stood. He almost lost his grip on the invisibility spell before he managed to catch himself.

Dredging up what little strength he had left, he managed to teleport himself back to the bar where he had left Thor and the others, only to find it on fire.

Loki heaved a sigh. Yet another mess of his brother’s he had to clean up. But even as he did so, weary and on the brink of going through a nightmarish magical fallout, there was a faint smile of satisfaction that wouldn’t quite leave his lips.

Anthony was safe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so, everything about Loki's magic in this fic is being pulled out of my own arse. I don't have a clue how any of it works in cannon or even in Norse Mythology, so this is all of my own creation.
> 
> Also, the clones that Loki creates here are not the same as the illusions he makes in the Thor movie on Jotunheim or to trick Thor. ("Will you ever not fall for that?") These are something else.
> 
> Lastly, I don't actually know how long Tony was imprisoned in Afghanistan. I feel like I read three months somewhere, but when I tried to double check, I couldn't find anything. If anyone does actually know the correct number, I'd love to know.
> 
> Thanks again for reading! Comments and commenters will be forever memorialised in my mental hall of fame! :)


	6. I need to talk to you for a minute

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! So I made it to Texas safely. Thanks for any positive thoughts thrown in my direction. :) Also, the flooding here isn't bad at all, and my sister doesn't seem to be tired of me yet, so those are good things. Plus, her kids are adorable. But anyway.
> 
> Thank you all for the love! I hope you enjoy this new chapter, and I apologise in advance.

Tony groaned, still trying to figure out how to make the repulsors on his new suit as energy efficient as possible. Seventy percent wasn’t good enough; it needed to be in the nineties or he was going to lose power on the reactor way too quickly. He hadn’t slept in the past. . . well, he was quite certain it was going on three days, and he needed more coffee.

“Keep running the simulations, Jarvis,” he ordered as he stood from the desk chair. The room wobbled a little at first, but it didn’t take very long for it to figure out which way it was supposed to go and stay there. He took the stairs a bit slower than maybe he would have normally, but then he reached the top and coffee wasn’t very far away.

Unfortunately, neither was Pepper.

“Tony,” she said quietly as she turned from the window, offering him that sad smile that had been all too common from her since his return. “I was waiting for you.”

“I could tell. ‘Cause you, here, standing in the dark, waiting for me, that’s not creepy at all.” He moved towards the kitchen. “I’m having coffee; do you want some coffee?”

“When’s the last time you slept?”

“Don’t know,” he said honestly, pouring himself a cup and then taking three big swallows. He gagged over the sink. “Holy shit, how old is this?”

“It has been sitting in that pot for the last fourteen hours, Sir,” Jarvis answered helpfully.

“And you let me drink it?” he demanded.

“You did not ask my advice on the matter.”

“Damn robot,” he muttered under his breath as he dumped out the pot and started making a new one. While he waited, he continued drinking what was in his mug, though he made faces about it.

Pepper just stood there, looking as impeccable and unruffled as always, watching him.

“Seriously, Pep, getting a little Friday the Thirteenth here.”

“I made you an appointment for this weekend, and I think you should keep it.”

“Obie told me to stay out of the public eye; I’m staying out of it.”

“It’s not that kind of appointment.” She sighed, “Tony, I know this woman; she’s really nice, professional, and discreet-”   


“Did you hire me a hooker? ‘Cause, I mean, it’s thoughtful and all, little creepy, but that seems to be a thing with you tonight, but I’m pretty sure that I could still get a girl-”

“She’s a therapist, Tony,” Pepper interrupted, “and I really think you should-”

“You know, I liked it better when you were being all stalker-y and hiring me call girls. Even if it is a little insulting that you think I couldn’t get a date myself.”

“Have you looked in the mirror recently?” a new, familiar, snarky voice asked, coming from the elevator.

“Sir, Mr. Silver has entered the building,” Jarvis added.

“No shit, Jarvis,” he muttered, very determinedly staring at his cup of disgusting coffee rather than at the six feet of sexy god that had just walked into his house in Malibu.

“Luc,” Pepper said in surprise. “It’s been a while.”

“That it has, Ms. Potts,” Loki said smoothly, and Tony looked up just long enough to see him glide across the room to kiss her hand.  _ Flirt _ . “Far too long.”

“Uh. . . did Tony invite you?”

“Not exactly, but I was extended a standing invitation. I decided to drop by and surprise him.” He waited just barely a moment, looking back and forth between Tony and Pepper in a totally bullshit and practiced innocent manner. “Forgive me, was I interrupting something?” And he sounded just perfectly sheepish too.

Of course, Pepper reacted with, “Oh, no! Nothing like that. Actually, I was just leaving. Have a nice day, Luc.”

“You as well, Ms. Potts.”

She hesitated next to the open elevator. “The appointment, Tony. Please, just think about it.” And then she was gone.

Loki sighed and promptly sank onto Tony’s couch like he owned the place, relaxing instantly into the way he always sat- legs obscenely parted and every inch of him at ease. Like as soon as he sat, all the tension just melted out of him. Maybe he put it into the furniture with his magic or something.

“Are you just going to stand there staring at your toes?”

Tony jerked, realising that he’d almost fallen asleep. Bad, bad Tony. Sleep was bad. Although. . . had he just thought, even to himself, that Loki somehow put his tenseness into  _ furniture _ ? Yeah, maybe he shouldn’t be working in his lab right now.

Finally, Loki’s words and the reason that he was sitting there, staring at Tony with one eyebrow raised and a slightly annoyed expression clicked in his head.

“Oh, right,” he muttered, way too late. “Sitting.” He walked over and basically fell into a chair. It was too soft and unused. He tended to spend most of his time here in his lab. Or in the bed.

Loki blinked at him measurely. “When  _ is _ the last time you slept?”

Tony groaned, “Oh, not you too. You don’t get to talk anyway; remember the time you showed up here after  _ weeks _ of not sleeping?”

“And I came here and slept,” Loki pointed out with his infuriating logic.

“After weeks of not sleeping! When it gets to be weeks, I’ll come to Asgard and collapse on your royal bed. Happy?”

Loki sighed, “No.”

And Tony suddenly felt bad. Loki wasn’t being pushy, wasn’t being overbearing, yet Tony had snapped at him for no reason. His being not happy was Tony’s fault. He was here, being his normal self instead of tiptoeing around him like everyone else, and Tony was treating him like he was unwanted, or, worse, like he  _ should _ be watching every word that he said, even though that was the last thing Tony desired.

Tony sighed. “Hey, uh. . . thanks.”

Loki arched an eyebrow.

“For. . . coming to help me. Before.”

Loki’s eyes softened instantly. “You’re welcome.” He paused, “I am sorry I was not there sooner.”

And in those hesitant words, Tony read far more guilt than he had ever expected to come from Loki. About anything. He stood and flopped down next to the god, laying his head on the taller man’s shoulder,  _ which was totally not weird _ . “Hey, no big deal. You came.”

Loki snorted, “Liar.”

“You. . . didn’t come?”   


“I was too long, and it matters,” Loki growled. “I should have been there sooner.”

“Okay,” Tony agreed after a moment, “maybe it would have been nice for a faster rescue. But you didn’t know, and when you did, you came. Unless you were sitting around for three months doing nothing, then you’re not to blame.”

Loki gently ran a hand through Tony’s hair, and there was silence for a few moments. “You need a shower,” Loki said flatly, his face perfectly blank.

Tony smiled, then he chuckled, and then he started laughing so hard that he couldn’t even breath. He doubled over, clutching his stomach as he laughed and laughed, eventually falling to the floor.

Loki stared down at him, unimpressed.

Tony finally managed to pull himself together, and then, still chuckling, struggled to stand. “Okay, I’ll take a shower,” he agreed. Then he waggled his eyebrows. “Wanna join me?”

Loki chuckled softly and leaned back in his seat, “I supposed I could be persuaded.”

Tony blinked; he hadn’t expected an affirmative. More of a sigh and a brush off, telling him that he had to head back to Asgard in five minutes or less. Loki hadn’t been around much since his kidnapping, and he had never addressed the whole thing. It was nice, because Loki was the only person around who just treated him. . . normally. He wasn’t a jackass to Tony about it, but he didn’t tiptoe around him either. He didn’t even pretend it had never happened, avoiding any subject he thought might remind Tony of it like the plague, like  _ some people _ did. He just acted normal. When Tony brought it up, he listened, but he didn’t ever push.

And Tony loved him for- uh. No. 

He really appreciated it, and  _ liked  _ him for it. That was much better.

Realising that if he took much longer staring at the god, his response was going to change, Tony smiled and dropped to his knees in front of him, leaning forward to ensnare him in a kiss.

Loki made a face. “You taste like terrible coffee.”

Tony chuckled, “Oh, right. Sorry.”

Loki rolled his eyes and then a wash of coolness went through his mouth.

Tony arched an eyebrow, “Did you seriously just magically fix my breath?”

Loki shrugged, “What, pray tell, would be the purpose of magic if it weren’t useful?”

“For sex?” Tony added with a smirk. “I get the feeling there was an unspoken, “for sex” there.”

“There was not, but if your mind is incapable climbing out of the gutter for a moment, I suppose it can remain.”

“My mind never climbs out of the gutter,” Tony said seriously. “It has a nice little house down there with its own mailing address and everything.”

Loki rolled his eyes again and then grabbed Tony by the front of his shirt and hauled him up further so that he could kiss Loki where the god was more comfortable.

Tony planted his hands on Loki’s thighs, and pushed up further into the passionate kiss, taking any given opportunity to slip his tongue into Loki’s mouth and taste more of that refreshing coldness that was the god’s own, unique taste. Not for the first time, he found himself wondering if Loki’s taste was somehow addictive to humans, because he couldn’t bring himself to stop save for when he absolutely couldn’t hold his breath for another moment.

As he pulled back, breathing heavily, Loki stood and dragged Stark with him, murmuring into his ear, “I believe the deal included a shower.”

Tony was too out of it to do anything more than squeak in protest as he was literally carried into the bathroom. Loki set him down on the toilet lid as he turned the water on and adjusted the temperature before returning to Tony and kissing him again.

It was slow this time, almost gentle, as Loki traced the inside of his mouth and sparred with his own tongue. He dragged his teeth over Tony’s bottom lip, and then moved away from his mouth and down his neck, sucking a mark there and grazing his teeth over it.

Tony’s hips bucked forward without his permission, and he moaned wantonly up into the kiss. He had even less inhibitions than normal when he was exhausted like this, and Loki knew how to push all of his buttons.

He tried to return the favor, to find that spot on Loki’s neck that he could use to make the god whine, but Loki was unrelenting and it was to hard to focus.

It wasn’t until he was completely stripped that he even noticed Loki had started to do so, manually, this time, at least with Tony’s clothes.

When the god was perfectly nude before him in a flash of green, he gave out a low growl and moved forward to get more of that intoxicating taste.

Loki maneuvered him while he allowed Tony to plunder his mouth, steering him until Tony felt the cold edge of the tub push up against the front of his knees. Loki was already in the shower, the water pouring down him in gushing rivulets that made Tony want to lick his entire body, and he pulled back until Tony would either be forced to step under the spray or lose his mouth.

Tony froze.

Loki finished pulling back, and suddenly frowned, intuitive as he was, instantly realising something was wrong. “Anthony?”

Tony didn’t really hear him.

Instead, he heard the harsh words spoken in Arabic around and above him, he heard the beating of his own heart in his ears, and he heard the rushing of water around him. He couldn’t breathe; couldn’t take a single breath. Water was everyone, rushing into his nose, ears, and mouth. It went into his lungs too, when he couldn’t bear the lack of oxygen any longer, and then he came up coughing, trying desperately to get away from their harsh grips.

But they held him too tight, and he couldn’t use his hands because he had to hold the battery, the only thing that was keeping him alive, and- no. No, no, no. There were cold hands around his wrists, and they were making him let go of the battery, and NO!

“ANTHONY!”

Tony jerked out of the flashback, naked and shivering and his shoulders being held by long pale fingers as he was shaken. Concerned green eyes stared down at him from a pale face that was framed by dripping black hair.

“Loki?” he whispered, his voice quiet and so very little.

The green eyes were briefly obscured by closing lids before a soft sigh rushed over Tony’s face. “Come here, Anthony,” Loki murmured, enveloping him in a safe, comfortable embrace. Somehow, a towel settled over his shoulders, and Loki wrapped him up in it like he was a child before gently steering him out of the bathroom and towards his bedroom.

Loki apparently didn’t give a damn about the fact that he was both naked and wet as he gently tucked Tony into bed, something that hadn’t been done for him since. . . well, he honestly couldn’t remember. Probably some time before his mom had left. Only once Tony was secured did he take a moment to dry himself off with magic and conjure up a pair of sweatpants before climbing into bed with him.

Once again, he wrapped Tony in a gentle hug, holding him to his chest. He didn’t say a word.

Tony was somewhat appreciative for that, but, at the same time, he couldn’t take the silence. “So. . . uh, the stench probably hasn’t improved much, huh?”

Loki breathed something that had equal chances of being a laugh or a sigh. Maybe it was both. “Not particularly, no,” he admitted. There was a pause. “I’m sorry, Anthony,” he murmured quietly. This wasn’t a pity sorry; Tony could tell. This was a genuine apology for something that he felt was his fault.

Tony immediately frowned into the pale chest. “Why are you sorry? It’s not your fault.”

“I shouldn’t have pushed-”   
  
“You didn’t know,” Tony responded sharply, cutting off that thought before it went anywhere else. Then his frown deepened. “Why do you insist on taking the blame for this? You’ve never been this way about anything before. Even things that were legitimately your fault.” Tony didn’t mean to be a blunt jackass, but he was tired and traumatised. He just wanted to make sense of it.

There was a long pause from the god. “You’re my responsibility,” he finally said quietly.

Tony made a face, pulling back so that he could stare incredulously at his friend. “What the hell? Why am I your responsibility? Is that some kind of weird Asgardian shit? ‘Cause I don’t recall signing a marriage license.”

Loki’s gaze remained unreadable. “You are my mortal,” he said simply. “I am your god. That makes you my responsibility.”

“I’m your what now?” Tony was growing more and more irritable by the second. “I never signed up to join some kind of cult. You’re not my god.”

Loki’s eyes hardened. “It is not your choice to make,” he growled, his tone biting.

“Like hell it isn’t!” Tony sat up, pulling away from what he no longer considered a kindly embrace. “I never sold my soul to you!”

For a moment, Loki’s eyes flashed dangerously, almost murderously, but then they blanked. “You are unwell,” he said coldly, like that dismissed everything he had said. “You’re not thinking clearly.”

“In this, you bet your pretty little ass I am, Princess!” Whoops. That was crossing a line.

He could see it in Loki’s eyes, and for a moment Tony was sure he had just signed his own death warrant. Then Loki just rolled out of bed, exchanging his sweatpants for leather armor in a flash of green as he stood with his back to Tony.

“What now? You’re just going to leave?” Tony asked, incredulous, and also a bit frightened. He didn’t want Loki to leave. Crazy though the god may have been, he didn’t want to be alone.

“Before I do something that cannot be undone, yes,” Loki growled, still not turning around, “I am going to leave. I will return when you are feeling more yourself,  _ Stark _ .” Then he was just gone.

Tony stared at the patch of carpet where the god had been just seconds before and fought to keep his breath even. He was gone.

Loki had just left, abandoned him, like everyone else in his fucking life. And it was his fault. He couldn’t have just let it go for a while, maybe brought it up when they were both feeling more rational. He couldn’t have just been more even-tempered. Maybe it wasn’t what it had sounded like; maybe Loki just had a screwed up understanding of relationships from Asgard.

_ Or maybe, _ a part of Tony that he didn’t want to acknowledge whispered,  _ maybe all you ever were to him was a possession, a prize.  _ **_His mortal._ **

After all, they had never exactly talked about what it was they had, did they? Tony hadn’t been sleeping with anyone else since Loki’s return, but as far as he knew, Loki had been. He was gone most of the time, dropping in whenever was convenient and just using Tony for whatever. Was that what this had been the whole time? Had he just been too blind to see it?

But it didn’t track, he told himself. Loki had come to visit him when he was a child; surely that couldn’t have been for anything he got out of it. And that very first night he’d come back, he had asked if they were still friends. He wanted a friend. Not a possession.

So when had everything changed? Had nothing really changed, and Tony had just misunderstood? Damn it all, why hadn’t Loki just slammed him up against the wall, why hadn’t he just beaten some sense into him? At least then he would still be here, and maybe they could fix this. Now he was gone; he was gone, and even though he said he would come back, he’d said that before. Tony couldn’t take another twenty years of him being missing, especially knowing that this time it was his fault. He just  _ couldn’t _ .

“Fuck,” he whispered dejectedly into the empty room.

Wait, what if he wasn’t really gone? What if he’d just turned invisible? He was that kind of sneaky shit, after all.

“Loki?” Tony tried hesitantly. “Are you still there?”

“I read no other life signs in the mansion, Sir,” Jarvis told him quietly.

“Shut up, J,” he hissed. “He could hide from you too if he wanted.” There was a pause. “Loki? Listen, if you’re still around, I’m sorry. I was a jackass, okay, and I think that we can still fix this. Just. . . say something. Or show yourself. You don’t even have to talk. Just come back?” He swallowed hard, standing up naked in his bedroom and looking around helplessly. “Please?”

There was no response.

“Fuck,” he whispered again. “I really screwed up this time, didn’t I? You’ve never left me like this before. Everyone else has, you know. Mom got fed up with it all. Dad was never really around to begin with. Even Pepper and Obie don’t put up with me forever. They walk out, or leave, or hang up. Rhodey hangs up a lot.” He chuckled mirthlessly. “The only things that’ve never left me are the ones I’ve made myself. And you. Until today. I’m sorry, Loki,” he tried again. “Please come back. I promise we’re still friends.”

Tony might’ve laughed at how pathetic he sounded if it weren’t so damn true. But Loki didn’t care about that. Loki wasn’t after a friend. He never had been. And he sure as hell didn’t care if Tony was still his friend now.

Tony curled up in a little ball on the carpet, using the towel Loki had wrapped around himself as a pathetic excuse for a blanket. “I’m sorry. Please come back,” he whispered one last time to the empty room before darkness took him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love Loki- really, really do- but I seriously wanted to smack him after this chapter. I'm very sorry; I promise that this drama doesn't last long. In fact, I'm pretty sure there's smut in the next chapter.
> 
> Comments will be squealed over! And then excuses will have to be made to my sister as to why I'm squealing. XD


	7. I am a fool

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm updating a day early. Because I feel like it.
> 
> Thank you so much for leaving your thoughts on the last chapter! I always love to hear them.

Three days. Three days since Tony had fallen asleep curled up naked on a towel in the middle of his bedroom. Three days since he had slipped into unconsciousness after pathetically begging for his oldest friend to come back. Three days since he had woken up screaming to the feeling of sand, water, and blood rising in his throat only to rush to the bathroom and vomit. Three days.

It didn’t sound like very long, but, to Tony, it had been an eternity. The first day he had spent curled up on the floor of his bedroom and the bathroom, not even bothering to get dressed. He had run through the scenario over and over again in his mind, trying to make sense of his words, of Loki’s, trying to put it back together differently, to find a way to keep it from breaking in the first place.

The second day, everything had changed. He was Tony fucking Stark! He was not going to mope around like the pathetic heroine from a bad romance novel while Loki ran off and. . . did whatever it was gods did when they had just dumped their boyfriends. Or their- what was it he had called him?- their  _ mortals _ . This wasn’t him.

So Tony had forced himself to get dressed, to dump out the coffee that had gone to waste from the day before and make some more. He’d drank two cups and felt infinitely better after that. Then he’d Irished up the third cup, and suddenly he felt great. The fourth and fifth were probably more Irish than coffee, but who cared?

And that was how he had found himself naked again, staring at the spray of water coming from the shower nozzle like it was a snake. He needed a shower, he told himself. He smelled terrible, and no one was ever going to believe he was fine if he lived like a hobo for the rest of his days. Plus, even  _ he _ could tell that he stank. Hell, Jarvis could probably smell him. He needed a shower.

Of course, knowing that and actually having the will to do it were two very different things. So Tony made a deal with himself. Either he cleaned himself off and looked presentable, or he had to go see the psychiatrist that Pepper had spoken about two days ago. Taking a deep breath, he stepped under the spray. 

His entire body went rigid, and he had to force himself to breathe, because he didn’t want to. He didn’t want to spend the next five minutes coughing up water through his raw throat before repeating the process all over again. But he had to breathe, so, eventually, his body’s need for oxygen overcame his stubbornness, and he took a breath.

There was no water in his lungs. Air flowed in, and air flowed out, like it was supposed to. Tony sagged against the wall in relief. He made certain to keep his face out of the water, and he didn’t get his hair washed, but it was progress. It was definitely progress.

The third day, he actually showered in the morning like a normal person, even if it had been after a fair amount of scotch again. He even managed a cursory wash of his hair, although it wasn’t perfect. He felt great- like he had just climbed Mt. Everest. And Loki? Well, Loki could go screw himself.

Actually, what with the clones that Tony had seen the god make when he saved him, he might be able to actually, physically screw himself. Huh. That was. . . really weird.

But thinking about Loki, even like that, was bad, because it dragged his thoughts back to the god. He had come to rescue Tony. He had. . .  _ cared _ , hadn’t he? Even if just a little? But maybe just like property.

Tony groaned, letting his head fall in his hands as he stared at the schematics for the suit he was still in the process of recreating, only way better, in his lab. Those thoughts always just led him around in circles. What was in the past was in the past. But what about the future?

Loki had said he was going to come back. Whether today or in ten years for now, Tony had never known him to lie to him, despite his moniker. He tended to deal more in twisting the truth than outright lies. So it was a fair assumption that Loki would eventually come back to see him, and when that happened, Tony had to decide what he was going to do.

The Tony Stark of day one probably would have fallen down at the god’s feet and begged him not to go away again, but that wasn’t Tony, not really. The Tony Stark of day two would have told Loki they were done and that he could go fuck himself. But this Tony Stark? Of day three? He was hoping to compromise for something in between the two.

Tony didn’t want Loki to leave forever. He didn’t want to forfeit their friendship, the intelligent conversation, or the mind blowing sex, not if he could help it. He didn’t want to lose whatever it was he had in the god. He had been better since Loki had come into his life; his  _ life _ had been better, and he was man enough to admit it.

But he would not be used. He would not be a victim who sat around when he was eighty and told the story of how he had been used and thrown away by the jackass god for whom he was still pining. That wasn’t Tony. He wasn’t anyone’s possession or responsibility besides his own, and  _ that _ was something he’d been trying to get through the heads of basically everyone in his life. Apparently Loki was no exception.

So, that was the deal he would present the god, if and when he returned. They could either maintain their relationship as  _ friends _ , with Loki giving up this ridiculous notion that he owned Tony in any way, or Tony would just have to deal with Loki being gone, maybe forever. It hurt; oh, gods on high, it hurt. But he was no one’s slave.

Satisfied with that, Tony went back to work on his suit, fixing things here and there as he adjusted the gauntlet specifications. The repulsors were finally getting to the acceptable point of energy efficiency, and the creation of his new reactor was coming along swimmingly.

Pleased with the progress made, Tony decided another coffee break was in order and jogged his way up the stairs to the kitchen. Once again, someone was waiting for him, but this time it wasn’t Pepper.

Loki was sitting at the counter, his eyes on some kind of weird, fluctuating geometric pattern made of green energy that was floating between his fingers. It dissipated and his eyes snapped up to meet Tony’s as the inventor came to a sudden stop several feet away.

“Uh. . . hi,” Tony said, because what was he supposed to say? “Jarvis?”

“Forgive me, Sir, he was masking my sensors.” Jarvis sounded a bit miffed.

“My apologies,” Loki directed the words to nowhere in particular, never having the need most people did to speak to the ceiling when they addressed the AI. “I simply didn’t want to disturb you.” This was obviously spoken to Tony.

“It’s fine,” he responded, still unmoving.  _ Come on, Tony. You thought about this. _ True, but a part of him had still believed Loki was going to be gone for the next twenty years again. “I. . . uh. . .” he started to say, but then Loki suddenly took a deep breath.

“I feel responsible because I care about you,” Loki said quietly, his eyes fixed on the counter in front of him.

All the words Tony had carefully prepared froze on the tip of his tongue, and his mind went completely blank while a strange, warm feeling started bubbling up in his chest.

Loki sighed slightly, “I care about you, and I should have been able to stop them from hurting you.”

Tony blinked, his mouth briefly opening and closing as he gaped like a fish. Apparently, he wasn’t the only one who had done some thinking. But it still wasn’t his fault. “Nobody can do everything,” he told Loki softly.

“I am a god!” Loki growled, green eyes flashing briefly up to meet Tony’s, but they fell a moment later as he murmured, “That never should have happened. You shouldn’t have had to go through that.”

And Tony caught a glimpse of something else in those words- an understanding that only came from a similar experience. He sighed softly and walked around the counter to sit next to Loki. “Hey, it wasn’t that bad. My backgammon playing has never been better,” he joked, trying to ignore the catch in his throat.

Loki sighed slightly, but he did look just a hint less guilty.

Which meant it was Tony’s turn.

He sighed, his own eyes now locked on the counter just like Loki’s had been. “Uh, listen, as much as I’d love to leave it like that and move on, I need to make something clear.” There was a moment’s pause, as Tony forced himself to meet Loki’s cool green gaze and arched eyebrow. “I am not  _ your _ mortal.”

A flash of something that looked almost like pain went through Loki’s eyes before he dropped his gaze and nodded. “I know.”

“Just to be perfectly clear, I’m not anyone else’s either,” Tony quickly qualified, that reaction a bit unnerving. “I’m a free man; completely unowned by anyone except me. And I need you to respect me as such. Okay?”

Loki looked rather puzzled for a moment, but he nodded slowly. “I. . . . Okay.”

The causal word sounded so weird coming from the formal Asgardian Prince. Tony grinned. “Great. So. . . friends again?” He waggled his eyebrows, “With benefits?”

Loki stared at him for a long moment like he was the most fascinating puzzle in the world, and he could spend the rest of his life unraveling him.

_ Whoa, there, Tony. You may have drank a bit too much of that liquid courage. _

“Friends,” Loki agreed, sounding almost like he was saying the word for the first time, despite Tony knowing he wasn’t. But maybe he hadn’t really understood it before.

Tony’s grin broadened, partially from relief. “Great! I think this deserves a celebratory drink.” He rifled around behind the bar. “Scotch? Gin? Vodka? Rum?” He made a face, “Please tell me you don’t like tequila.”

Loki watched him, looking a bit bemused. “I’m not entirely familiar with your Midgardian beverages. Whatever you’d prefer will be fine.”

Tony pulled out a bottle of fine scotch and poured them both a drink. “Scotch it is.” And then, because he was still absurdly giddy and riding a high of “I can’t believe that actually worked”, he raised his glass in a toast. “To. . . friends?”

Loki rolled his eyes but humored him, apparently back to normal. “Friends,” he echoed and then they both downed the burning liquid.

Tony felt a familiar buzz going through his body that probably had less to do with that one shot and more to do with the dozen he’d put in his coffee that morning. “Hey, so, I had a thought earlier.”

Loki arched an eyebrow.

“Can you fuck yourself?”

The god just stared. “What?”

“You still remember what that means right?”

Loki rolled his eyes. “Yes, Stark, and since you have by this time  _ thoroughly _ investigated alien biology, you should be aware that I am not any more physically capable of doing such a thing than you are. How much have you drank?”

Tony ignored the question. “I didn’t mean like that. I mean with those clones of yourselves that you made.”

Loki opened his mouth briefly and then closed it again. “I. . . suppose it might be possible,” he admitted, sounding almost grudging.

Tony gaped, “You’re kidding.”

“No.” Loki helped himself to another glass of scotch and downed it quickly, like he needed to be drunk for this conversation.   


Tony couldn’t really talk; he  _ was _ drunk. “You can actually fuck yourself? Have you ever tried it?”

Loki stared at him. “You act so surprised when I use magic while we  _ fuck _ , yet your mind immediately draws such vulgar implications whenever you learn of one of my abilities. How, exactly, does that follow any form of logic?”

“You’re avoiding the question,” Tony told him, but then he answered anyway, maybe just because hearing Loki say “fuck” tended to make him rather compliant. “And maybe it’s because you use magic while we have sex that you have now trained me to immediately think that way.”

“That might be logical, if it weren’t for the fact that you’ve already admitted that your mind has a permanent residence in the gutter,” Loki rebounded. “I don’t think I can be blamed for any of your perversions.”

“Nor I for yours,” Tony countered before making a face. “And now I sound like you.”

“No, you really don’t.” Loki sounded smug. “But, anyway, I’m not the one who blamed you for it.”

Tony frowned heavily, “What were we talking about again?”

Loki rolled his eyes. “It doesn’t matter, Anthony.” He poured both of them another drink.

Tony tipped back the shot, still frowning. He’d wanted an answer to something, damn it! Oh, right. “I remember!” He grinned a shit eating grin, “So, have you ever tried it?”

Loki stared at him for a long moment. “What are the odds of you remembering this conversation in a few hours?”

Tony thought about it. “Pretty high, actually. I don’t usually forget things unless I’m really, really drunk. Like the time I asked Pepper to join in when I was with some guy. I was so shit faced then,” he mused. Then he jerked his attention back to Loki, smirking, “But I think you just answered the question anyway.”

Loki sighed. “Yes, I tried it. Once. Are you quite satisfied?”

The sudden mental image of one snarky Loki fucking into another who was laid out beneath him, face blown out in pleasure almost made Tony let out a wanton moan right there. “Nope,” he said rather hoarsely, “I’m pretty damn far from satisfied right now.”

Loki smirked in such a way that said clearly he knew exactly what effect that had just had on Tony. “Well that’s too bad for you, because you just reminded me that I don’t actually need you to take care of my own satisfaction.”

All hint of a smile fell from Tony’s face. “You’re not serious.”

“About what?” Loki said, all false innocence.

“Loki,” he whined.

“Yes, Anthony?”

“I wanna have sex.”

“Well then, enjoy your hand,” Loki responded smugly before promptly standing and going to pour himself a cup of coffee.

“Please?” he tried, since that usually worked.

Loki pretended to consider it for a moment. “I think not.”

Tony stared for another moment. “You’re really not going to budge.”

“No,” he said firmly, a small smirk still curling up the corner of his lips. “I will not be fucking you today. But feel free to take care of your  _ problem _ .” He waved his hand in the general direction of Tony’s groin.

Tony’s eyes narrowed. Oh, so this was how he was gonna play it. Well, okay then. Tony could play this game. Not at the kitchen counter though.

He stood and stretched, taking his time to leisurely walk over to the couch. He didn’t turn around once to look at Loki, but he could feel the god’s green eyes boring into his back as he settled himself down on the pristinely perfect couch. Smirking, he slowly pulled down the waistband of his sweatpants and wrapped his fist around his already hard member before giving it a few strokes. He laid his head back, closed his eyes, and moaned as he bit at his lip, putting on a show for the god.

The sounds of Loki slurping at his coffee had stopped, and Tony to smother a smug grin at the thought of Loki standing in the kitchen, no longer perfectly composed, but staring at Tony with a hungry gaze.

The feel of that gaze made Tony moan again and he started moving his hand faster, tightening his grip slightly even though it was rather uncomfortable without lube. He swiped his thumb over the head to gather some precome and make things more slick, giving out another moan as he put a little twist in the pumping motion, not unlike the way Loki often did.

Tony frowned slightly; he could no longer hear Loki or feel the god’s gaze, so he slowly opened his eyes only to gasp in shock as he found the god directly in front of him, on his knees, at eye level with Tony’s groin, staring up into his face with blown black eyes.

Holy shit.

That black gaze bored into him, even though he was also smirking as Tony’s hand stuttered, his breath suddenly coming in quick pants as Loki somehow managed to push him dangerously close to the edge without even touching him.

“What are you thinking, Anthony?” Loki purred softly, his hands slipping up the inside of Tony’s sweat pants on his lower legs.

Tony hissed at the sensation of his cold hands and was forced to slow his speed or risk coming right then, even with as much alcohol in his system as there was. Loki bit down on his thigh, and Tony jerked, trying to focus to answer the question.

“Uh. . . thinking. . . how damn sexy you look,” he said truthfully. “And about that time we fucked, invisible, in the bathroom. . . and Obie came inside.” Tony picked that one on purpose, because he knew it was one of Loki’s favorites.

Sure enough, Loki gave a quiet moan at that, his hands slipping out of the bottom of Tony’s pants only to come back to the top. He worked the band down so that it was around Tony’s knees and he could knead at the flesh of his thighs as he kissed and licked at the sensitive skin on the inside. “What else?” he whispered, running one of his fingers teasingly along Tony’s perineum.

“Oh, god,” he whispered, his head falling back without his command this time as his eyes squeezed shut. “Your hands. They’re amazing. You. . .  _ fuck _ . . . drive me insane.”

Loki nipped at the inside of his left thigh, making him jolt, and then rolled his balls between his fingers while Tony’s own hand continued pumping his length. “What else?” he hissed more than asked this time, and Tony had a feeling he was looking for something in particular.

And then it hit him. “Thinking of you, fucking yourself into the mattress of my bed while I watch,” he whispered, hardly able to find the air to form words. “Your hair is sweaty and sticking up all over the place, like when we fuck, and your face is both vulnerable and predatory.”

Maybe he was saying too much. Maybe he should stop. But Loki wasn’t stopping; he continued trailing kisses along his thighs and alternating between playing with his balls and pressing against his perineum.

Tony couldn’t think. “You push his face down into the mattress and take him hard,” he continued, a part of his mind wondering absently at the right pronouns to use when describing this situation, and most of him not giving a damn. “And he’s calling out and begging to come, and,  _ oh, fuck _ , you call him a whore,” -probably crossing a line here, but he just couldn’t bring himself to care- “and keep fucking him.” He broke off and whimpered as Loki’s hand suddenly folded over his own and slowed the pace of his jerking off. “Loki,” he whispered.

“And what are you doing, Anthony?” Loki’s voice was equally quiet, and also rough with desire. “While I fuck myself, what are you doing?”

“Jerking off,” Tony told him, finally managing to wrench his gaze down to meet Loki’s almost completely black eyes. “For a while. But then I can’t take it anymore, and I get up and fuck into you while you fuck into him.” Tony groaned at the sudden mental image and nearly came right then- only cool fingers had circled around the base of his cock and his completion was denied.

“Is that right?” Loki whispered, and as he leaned up closer to Tony’s face, still shorter than him but not by much, Tony worried he crossed a line somewhere in there. Then Loki whispered directly in his ear, “And then both of me would come, screaming your name.” There was a poignant pause. “ _ Anthony _ .”

Tony arched and bucked even while his own grip was suddenly displaced by Loki’s cool fingers that were magically slick and moving over his member until he couldn’t help but come with a hoarse shout, his seed spilling all over his own chest and Loki’s both.

Tony laid back, breathing heavily as he allowed his eyes to slip shut. He had never come that strongly just from jacking off before in his life. Of course, nothing was ever “just” with Loki.

Speaking of Loki, Tony managed to lift his head and look at the god only to find him magically leaning up the mess Tony had made. He didn’t really know why he was surprised. Maybe he expected Loki to make him clean it up the mundane way in one of his occasional whims. Maybe a part of him had kind of been hoping for Loki to lick it off of him. . . . Yeah, that wasn’t really Loki though.

Tony reached out for the god’s pants, thanking his lucky stars that he was wearing regular jeans instead of that fucking leather armor. As hot as he looked in it, the stuff was impossible to remove. He wasn’t expecting cool fingers to grab his wrist before he could reach the button. Tony looked up to meet a pair of green eyes, still blown with lust, but oddly cold.

“Didn’t I say that I would take care of my own problems, Stark?”

Back to Stark. Tony pouted. “But-” It didn’t make any sense. Why wouldn’t he let Tony reciprocate? Tony always reciprocated, always, even when he was half dead on his feet and couldn’t remember the name of the girl, or guy, in his bed. He still made sure they got off. Generally before he did, but he was generally the top so he didn’t feel like any rules were being broken between him and Loki there.

“No,” Loki said simply before sitting down on the couch next to Tony. He made no move to do anything about the bulge his pants.

“Okay, I get that you have insane self-control, but why are you-?”

Loki placed a single, long finger on his lips. “Enough, Anthony,” he breathed. “Not today.”

Tony wasn’t letting this go. It was too weird. Loki was a drama-queen, an egotist, a diva, a narcissist, like him. It didn’t make any form of sense for him to deny himself like this. Unless it was some kind of twisted version of punishing himself. But for what? Loki hadn’t done anything wrong.

“What the hell, Loki? Is this not a safe day for you or something?” And that brought on a unnerving train of thought, but Tony squashed it quickly.

Loki blinked, understandably confused, but then he just smiled slightly. “One would think based on your reaction that I was denying  _ you _ .”

Actually, Tony had reacted a lot less angrily in the past to when Loki had seemed like he was going to deny him his completion, mainly because he knew it was all part of the game. But this wasn’t a game. “Yeah, well, I don’t like the idea of leaving my partner unsatisfied,” he growled. “It’s a matter of reputation.”

Loki arched an eyebrow, “What makes you think you have absolutely any say over my level of satisfaction? And as for your reputation, who exactly do you think I’m going to tell?”

“That’s not the point.” Tony stubbornly ignored the first rhetorical question. “The point is, it’s not something I do.”

“And it still isn’t; it is something that I have chosen to do.” Loki’s eyes hardened, “Now, leave it, Stark.”

What. The. Hell? “I need a drink,” he finally muttered, knowing that look in Loki’s eyes. He would get more headway banging his head against a concrete wall than he would getting an answer out of the god. He stood and walked back over to the bar, drinking straight out of the bottle that was still sitting there, waiting for him.

There was silence for a few moments as Tony drank, but then Jarvis broke it with some very convenient news. “Sir, the finishing touches on your new arc reactor have been completed. It is ready.”

Tony’s eyes lit up suddenly, and he turned to Loki excitedly, “Do you want to see it?”

Loki blinked, looking slightly lost, but he nodded as he stood.

Tony rushed down the staircase with Loki right on his heels, and he nearly slipped as he ran into the workshop.

There it was, complete and upgraded, the finished product.

“J?” Tony breathed, going to stare at it.

“It passes all tests, Sir. The reactor is 99.8% safe, by my estimate.”

“Anthony?” Loki murmured quietly.

Tony shed his shirt and laid down on the table, unscrewing his current arc reactor. He had nearly detached it before he realised there was a wire with a short that he needed someone to reach and and fix. Someone with long, slender fingers, perhaps. “Uh. . . Loki?”

The god was at his side in an instant, staring intently at the circle of light in his chest. “What is this?” he whispered, his voice a strange mixture of curiosity and. . . was that awe?

“It’s my heart,” Tony teased a bit nervously. He didn’t like the idea of anyone getting near it; Loki had figured that bit out quickly the day he had rescued him. The Trickster had never brought it up again, even though Tony could practically see the questions swimming in those perfect green eyes. It was yet another thing that Tony had appreciated about the god’s actions after Afghanistan.

Loki frowned intently at the circle of light. “There is metal in your chest,” he murmured, and something murderous flashed in his eyes. “What did they do to you?”

Tony breathed a mirthless laugh. “Technically, I did this to me.”

Loki’s eyes snapped up to meet his, his brow furrowing, but he didn’t ask.

Tony took a deep breath. “One of my missiles was sent towards the humvee where I was riding after the demonstration. My missile. It blew up in my face. The shards got in my blood stream and kept going towards my heart.” He tapped the reactor, “This stops them.” He swallowed hard, “My own missile, Loki. My weapons. They are being used. . . . It’s my fault.”

“No,” Loki said firmly, “It is not. Weapons, magic, missiles, they are all tools. The one who crafts them has naught to do with the way that they are used or by whom. You didn’t kill those people.”

Tony shook his head, “I am responsible. I should have known what was going on in my own damn company!”

Loki regarded him for a long moment. “I will never concede that you are in any way at fault. But I can see that you are not to be dissuaded. So, what are you going to do about it?”

Tony smiled gratefully, “Jarvis, pull up the Mark II project.”

The holographic projection of his new suit of armor hummed in the air in front of them, and Loki stepped away from Tony’s side to examine it. He silently walked around it in circles, occasionally stopping and narrowing his eyes at one part or another. When he finally stopped walking, his back to Tony, the inventor cleared his throat nervously.

“So. . . uh. . . what do you think?”

“You intend to fly in this?”

“That’s the plan."

He turned back to face Tony, and his face broke into a brilliant grin as he walked over and kissed him.

Tony grinned as well once he got his mouth back. “I take it you like it then.”

“It is amazing,” Loki whispered. “You have managed to build. . . magic.” He looked truly astounded.

“It’s not ready, yet. But this will power it.” Again, he tapped the arc reactor. “Or, rather, this.” He pointed at the new one. “If you’ll help me. . . install it, that is.”

Loki looked wary. “Are you certain? You did not previously wish me to touch it.”

Tony thought about it for a moment and then exhaled. “I trust you.” He cracked a nervous smile. “My life in your hands.”

Loki didn’t say anything at first, and then he went straight to the point. “What do you want me to do?”   


Tony removed the old one and put it aside. “Just. . . uh. . . lift up the copper wire, and don’t touch the sides, ‘cause that would be bad.”

Loki reached into the empty metal case, not even commenting on the plasma discharge that Tony knew had gathered, and carefully lifted the wire with surgical precision until it was above the edge. “And?”

Tony took it from him and quickly fixed the short and installed the new reactor. It slipped into the casing with a click as he turned it, and then he sagged against the chair in relief. “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome,” Loki responded simply, turning the old one about in his hands. “What shall I do with this?”

Tony shrugged. “Destroy it. Incinerate it. Make it go poof in a shower of green sparks.”

Loki frowned down at the reactor and then suddenly a shimmer of green passed over it, leaving it encased in glass. He set it down on the table. “You made this,” he said simply. “I shan’t unmake it.”

Tony blinked at the god. “Well, okay then.”

There was a moment’s silence.

“Do you want to help me put the finishing touches on my suit designs?”

Loki’s eyes lit up at the prospect. “I do.”

Tony grinned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope no one was disappointed with the resolution to this particular drama. At least there was smut. . . right?


	8. It's completely harmless

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, everyone! Thank you all for the lovely feedback! <3 You guys are all the best. <3
> 
> I don't really like the first two sections of this chapter, though I was relieved to get them done. It finishes up the rest of the first Iron Man movie. The last section is one of my favourites, however.
> 
> I hope you guys enjoy! :D Comments will be fawned over. :)

Loki’s visits weren’t as frequent as they had been before Tony’s time in Afghanistan, as Thor was still dragging him around the Nine Realms. It seemed each visit was taking progressively more time, at least to Tony. Loki seemed to agree with the sentiment. Meanwhile, Tony was finishing up his suit, and, perhaps more importantly, looking into his own company.

He was testing out his flight stabilizers when Jarvis informed him Obadiah was upstairs. Normally, Pepper might have been around to do it, but he had been granting her access to his lab less and less since Afghanistan. No one but Loki and Jarvis knew about the Mark II, and even though he trusted Pepper, it was going to stay that way. 

Tony sighed heavily and jogged upstairs only to find that Obie had brought pizza. Well, that was never good. “How’d it go? It went that bad, huh?”

“Just because I brought pizza back from New York does not mean it went bad.”

“Sure doesn’t. Oh, boy.” Tony snagged a slice of pizza.

“It would have gone better if you were there.”

“You told me to lay low. That’s what I’ve been doing. I lay low, and you take care of all-”

“Hey, come on! In public. The press. This was a board of directors meeting.”

“This was- this was a board of director’s meeting?”

“The board is claiming you have post-traumatic stress. They’re filing an injunction.”

An injunction, huh? They were going to try to lock him out of his own company. Tony felt rage boil up inside him. Well, he sure as hell wasn’t going to let them get away with that. But, he had his own suspicions as to who was selling his weapons under the table, so he played the fool, just like Obie expected. “A what?”

“They’re gonna lock you out.”

_ You’re going to lock me out _ , Tony thought somewhat bitterly, but that wasn’t confirmed yet. He still held out a sliver of hope that maybe Obie hadn’t betrayed him. “What, because the stock dipped forty points? We knew that was gonna happen.”

“Fifty six and a half.”

“It doesn’t matter. We own the controlling interest in the company.”

“Tony, the board has rights too.” Talking to him like he was a child, just like he always had. Like he was some kind of puppet to be controlled by a fatherly presence and a few choice words. He was fed up with it. “They’re making the case that you and your new direction isn’t in the company’s best interest.”

It was in everyone’s best interest! “I’m being responsible! That’s a new direction. For me. For the company. I mean, for me on the company’s behalf, being responsible for the way that. . . . This is great.” He turned to leave.

“Oh, come on. Tony! Tony!” The way that he called his name grated on his nerves; he didn’t have the right to call him that anymore. They weren’t friends. He wasn’t sure he’d ever been so prone to giving in to Loki’s demands that he go by Anthony and not Tony in his life.

“I’ll be in the shop.”

“Hey, hey! Hey, Tony, listen, I’m trying to turn this thing around, but you’ve gotta give me something. Something to pitch them. Let the engineers analyze that.” He pointed to the arc reactor. “Draw up some specs.”

Like hell! “No. No, absolutely not.”

“It’ll give me a bone to throw to the guys in New York!”

“This one stays with me. That’s it, Obie, forget it.”

Obie grabbed the pizza. “All right, well, this stays with me, then.” There was a brief pause. “Go on, here, you can have a piece. Take two.”

Tony grabbed half the pizza. “Thank you.”

“Do you mind if I come down there and see what you’re doing?”

“Good night, Obie.”

Tony disappeared into his workshop and shoved the pizza into his mouth. Jackass. Bastard. Traitor. Gods it hurt. “Jarvis, do you have the financial reports back yet?”

“They are, Sir.”

“Pull ‘em up.”

Tony barely had to glance at them to confirm his suspicions. Obie had been selling the weapons behind his back. He had been supplying terrorists with weapons that Tony had made.

He suddenly laughed bitterly. Maybe he should thank the Ten Rings; without them, he likely never would have realised there was a traitor in his midst. He never would have realised that Obadiah was lying to him. About everything.

“Anthony?” Loki’s soft query broke through his bitter self-reflection.

“He’s been betraying me,” Tony blurted out immediately. “This whole fucking time, he’s been betraying me. Lying to my face. The father I never had- hah! It’s all been one big fucking joke.”

Loki didn’t say anything, but he slipped up behind him and wrapped his arms around Tony’s chest, holding him.

Tony only stayed for a moment though; he was too angry to just sit there. He needed to do something. He needed to build something. “Jarvis, pull up the Mark II schematics. Let’s get some of this done.”

Loki was just standing, unmoving and unspeaking, his eyes on his hands as he fidgeted with them absently.

Tony paused as he started to get to work. “I’m probably not going to be very good company tonight. You don’t have to stay.”  _ Please, please stay. _

Loki looked up at him carefully, green eyes prying into his soul. He took two steps forward and put his hands on both sides of Tony’s face, wrenching him upwards into a surprisingly soft kiss. “I’m not going anywhere, Anthony,” he vowed quietly, the words carrying so much more weight and meaning than he had spoken.

Tony watched him for a moment, and then a faint smile lifted the corner of his mouth, made his brown eyes sparkle. “Hold this?” he tried, offering one of his tools, making the god useful.

Loki smiled back and took it, his eyes glowing. “With pleasure.”

(0)-(0)-(0)-(0)-(0)

The party was dull. Pepper was freaking out because he’d asked for a dance. Even though he hadn’t even looked at another girl or guy like that since Loki. Seriously, the god had a massive libido. No way in hell was he risking not being able to satisfy the Trickster by taking some random bimbo too bed. A reporter, one who had cornered him before he’d left for Afghanistan, she was there. And she showed him the pictures.

Tony had had a plan. He’d been going to play it cool with Obie, keep him out of his business, but not let on that he knew about the double dealing. Not yet. Not until he had a plan. But this. . . this was unacceptable.

Obie outright admitted to kicking him out of his own company.

Loki wasn’t there when he got back to his mansion.

The suit was. And it was finished.

The Iron Man made his first appearances all over the news, and he told Rhodey the truth after some issues. Iron Man- he liked that. He had some trouble taking the suit off and Pepper found him. Now she knew. She said she wasn’t going to watch him kill himself, but she didn’t understand. None of them understood. Why couldn’t they see that he was to blame?

Loki had been gone for too long; Tony hadn’t seen him since he’d finished the suit. He wanted to show him, but he wasn’t there.

Tony sighed, flopping down on the couch. Pepper was calling; he frowned down at the phone, but just as he moved to answer it a high pitched ringing went through his body and he froze. The phone was carefully removed from his hand and then a large hand was laying him down.

He couldn’t move. He couldn’t think. He could hardly breathe.

Obadiah was talking, but Tony wasn’t listening. He was touching the arc reactor. No one was supposed to touch that, no one except him and Loki. Tony tried desperately to move, to stop him, to call out, to do  _ anything _ , but his body wouldn’t respond as the man he had once called his fucking father removed his heart from his chest.

Obie was gone, and he could literally feel the shrapnel continue to make their way closer to his heart with every panicked beat. He fell off of the couch and forced himself into the elevator. Down to the workshop, where that old arc reactor was, the one Loki had refused to destroy. He crawled across the metal floor, every movement laborious, every heartbeat taking him closer to death. The table was right there in front of him, and he reached for the reactor, but his fingers slipped and it fell to the floor on the other side of the table instead, magical glass not even cracking.

Tony slumped down to the floor, face ashen, counting his heartbeats and labored breaths, wondering how much longer it would be before death took him.

“Anthony!” an anguished cry ripped through the workshop, and then Loki was there, holding his heart in his hands, his hands slipping over Tony’s prone, paralysed body. He already knew how to do this, and he connected the reactor as soon as possible. “Anthony, please,” he murmured, sounding so fucking broken in that moment.

Tony reached out a hand and let it brush weakly by Loki’s face. “Hey, Lokes,” he coughed. “Have I ever told you that you have really spectacular timing?”

Loki breathed a shaky laugh, and though his bright green eyes still looked dangerously close to tears when he lifted them to meet Tony’s, there was a deep seated rage simmering behind them. “Did he do this? That pathetic excuse of a mortal who dared to think himself able to outsmart you?”

Assuming that Loki had jumped to the correct conclusion, Tony nodded. “Yeah. J, get my suit.”

“Anthony-” Loki started, but stopped after a single harsh look from the inventor.

“My responsibility, Lokes. This one's on me.”

Loki fell silent as the suit closed around the mortal, only speaking once the faceplate had completely severed the pair of them. “Let me help?” It was a question, not a demand.

Tony hesitated briefly before nodding. “Yeah, just. . . don’t kill him.”

A flash of pain crossed Loki’s eyes before he nodded slowly. “I will try.”

(0)-(0)-(0)-(0)-(0)

“I am Iron Man.”

Three weeks had passed since his sudden declaration, since Loki had been forced to rip Tony’s hand from his old mentor in order to prevent Obadiah’s last act from killing Tony. Loki probably could have saved them both, but Tony hadn’t asked. He wasn’t sure he wanted to know the answer, but, at the same time, Loki had looked damn exhausted. Maybe keeping himself hidden from all the cameras while he helped Tony fight had taken more out of him than the engineer had realised.

Loki had left almost directly after the fight, looking almost panicked as he did so. Tony hadn’t been able to ask then, and he hadn’t seen the god since as he’d been dealing with the fallout from his sudden revelation.

Tony sighed heavily, leaning back in the penthouse of his New York Tower. He’d been spending more and more time there since the incident at the Malibu Mansion. He’d had the couch replaced, but it was like there was still something in the air, something that reminded him of the near death incident.

There was a shimmer of green, and then Loki appeared, only not like normal. Rather than just a roll of green and gold going across the air, leaving Loki in its wake, this time it kept rolling over and over, and Loki wasn’t solidifying. He looked like a crappy hologram transmission from Star Wars. And he was in pain.

Tony bolted off of his couch and rushed forward. About the same time that he reached him, Loki finally stopped shimmering and collapsed forward into his arms, his entire body trembling from head to toe.

Loki weighed a lot, and Tony stumbled under the heavy load, both of them falling backwards on the couch. “Lokes? Hey, Loki, talk to me, are you alright?”

The god groaned, the tremors going through his body in waves and making him clench his eyes in pain. What the hell was happening to him? “Magic. Returning. Can’t-” Loki’s incoherent explanation was cut off as he cried out suddenly, sharply in pain, slumping down on Tony’s body. His next words were quiet and hoarse, but clear. “I’m sorry.”

“Whoa, hey, this is not your fault,” Tony was quick to assure. He didn’t have any idea what “this” was, but Loki was here, with him, hurting, and since he had no idea how to fix it, he could at least try to make him feel better. “What can I do?”

Loki fucking whimpered, his hands clenching into fists as he curled in on himself as he laid basically on top of Tony. It wasn’t particularly comfortable, for either of them, but like hell if he was moving before he knew what the god needed. “Just. . . don’t leave,” he finally whispered. “Please.”

Shit. Loki didn’t say please. Tony was quick to give his assent, “Yeah, you got it. Can I get you anything else? Ice cream? I have that minty green kind you like. Or pie? I don’t even know if you like pie, but who doesn’t like pie?” He was rambling; he knew he was rambling, but his badass, godly boyfr-  _ best friend _ was currently curled up on top of him whimpering pathetically and he couldn’t fix it. “Sorry. I. . . um. . . I’ll shut up. Just tell me if you need something.”

“Don’t,” Loki breathed in between the violent tremors going through him. Another one passed and he groaned before grinding out his clarification. “Don’t stop talking.”

Well that was something he could definitely do.

So Tony talked. He talked about the various models of the Iron Man suit on which he was already working. He bitched about Pepper making him do paperwork, although he would then stop and tell Loki how great she was. He told him about all the stupid government officials who wanted to steal his suit. He explained to Loki what he never seemed to be able to explain to anyone else, or, at least, what they never seemed to understand- he  **was** Iron Man. There was no one without the other. They couldn’t have the suit without him, and Pepper, well, she couldn’t have him without the suit. Not that she could have had him anyway. He was taken. He didn’t tell Loki that Pepper stuff though.

Through it all, Loki continued to whimper into his chest, shaking uncontrollably. He was frigid cold, reminding Tony of the other night he had come to him exhausted and freezing, but it hadn’t been this bad then. He’d just needed to sleep. Was that what he needed now? Or had he contracted some kind of vicious alien version of the flu?

Eventually- Tony had no idea how long it had been, but the sun was beginning to turn orange and dip below the horizon- Loki stopped shaking. His breathing slowly evened out, and the pained whimpers and groans stopped. Tony had stopped talking a little while ago, just running his hand through Loki’s short, sweaty hair. The god hadn’t complained, but he hadn’t pushed into the motion like he normally did either. Tony just hoped it was enough.

Slowly, the god shifted off of him, bloodshot eyes locked on Tony’s shirt and not raising to meet his own gaze. “I’m sorry,” he whispered again, sounding so damn small. “Thank you.”

“Anytime, Lokes,” Tony tried, but he didn’t quite keep the waver out of his voice. Damn it all, he’d been scared! For his best friend! That wasn’t weird! “I. . . . What was that?”

Loki flinched. “Magic,” he said wearily with a sigh after a moment. He closed his tired eyes briefly before shifting off of Tony to sit beside him on the couch instead.

“Magic?” Tony prodded, though he knew he should probably just let the guy get some sleep. He needed to know what had happened. Mostly, he needed to know that Loki wasn’t dying.

Loki sighed again, and Tony was about take it back when he started talking. “My magic is a force that lives inside of me. It is both an energy, and almost an entity, occasionally with its own wants and wishes, a form of intelligence unique unto itself. Through many years of meditation and internal reflection, I have bonded with my own power and gotten a trust so that it does as I command. That is what makes me a mage, or a sorcerer. The amount of magic that I hold naturally within myself, from birth, is what makes me a powerful mage. The amount of training, skill, and understanding I have with my magic is what makes me a great mage.” Here, his lips tilted just slightly upwards with pride. Tony sure as hell didn’t blame him. He was awesome.

The smile didn’t last very long. “However, despite my quite substantial reservoirs of magic, it is not unlimited. Magic within me recovers through the absorption of natural magic from nature. Because I am of Asgard, my magic recovers best when I am on Asgard. The natural energies also assist me more when I perform basic spells; thus, it takes more of my personal power rushing through me when I do things on other planes. Normally, my magic remains inert within me, resting, if you well. When I use it, it rushes through my body. This feeling is. . . addicting.

“It can literally make one drunk on power; however, just like with alcohol or your Midgardian drunks, it also comes with a let down. We call this withdrawal. Some mages, in order to alleviate or prevent this feeling of powerlessness and the physical weakness that comes with it, try to continue using magic, having it all rush through them at once. This can cause an overload of magic and kill the mage.”

Loki paused for a moment, brow furrowing in a very endearing way, despite the awe that Tony was currently feeling for him. Then Loki seemed to remember the point of this lecture. “Withdrawal varies depending on how much magic used at once. The more magic used, the more the rush of power, the worse the let down. However, there are ways. . . to prevent magic from returning. This is generally a temporary thing, for permanently cutting of a mage from their magic can cause very painful death. Regardless, when the magic returns after being gone, it all rushes through your body. It rather feels like your entire body is on fire. Following that initial wave, the restoration of the magic sends withdrawal pains through the body in waves. This way it does not kill you like overloading would, but it is. . . unpleasant.”

Loki finished, and Tony was so busy making a ton of metal notes about things he wanted to investigate further that he almost missed the fact that he had just explained what had just happened. “Wait, so. . . somehow you were prevented from getting your magic back normally right away from nature, and then it all came back in a rush and put you through hell. Is that about right?”

The mage considered for a moment and then nodded. “In a manner of speaking. Calling it Hel might be a bit of an overstatement, though.”

Tony eyed him skeptically. “You said it felt like your entire body was on fire. And then you spent the next,” he checked his phone, “two hours laying on top of me shaking in pain.”

Loki winced at the reminder and then shrugged. “I’ve had worse.” Like that was supposed to make this better. “And I said I was sorry for that. I should not have burdened you with this. I simply needed to. . . get away.”

Tony frowned heavily. “Loki, you are welcome here, always. You don’t have to apologise. If you ever feel like shit or need to crash, or need literally anything, come here. I’ll do whatever I can.” When the god wouldn’t meet his eyes, Tony grabbed his chin in an action he didn’t normally dare to even think about doing, and pulled the god’s head up to look at him. “You can always come here, Loki.”

Loki held his gaze for a long moment before his lips twitched. “I’ll remember that.”

“You better,” Tony responded with a smirk that quickly fled. “Why wasn’t your magic coming back normally?”

Loki started avoiding his eyes again. “It was. . . punishment.”

Tony just blinked. “What?”

“My magic was recognised by Heimdall during our fight. He didn’t pry any further, but it was still reported that I had somehow snuck away to Midgard and was using magic there. This was punishment.”

“What?” Tony repeated, aghast. “Who did that?”

“The All-Father,” Loki answered, like it was the most common thing in the world to declare that your father had just put you through hell as a punishment.

Judging by Loki’s expression, maybe it was normal. And that just made Tony even more mad. “What the hell? That is so not okay. Why would your fucking father do that?”

“He is not just my father, Anthony, he is the king,” Loki reminded him, but there was a weariness in his eyes. “He. . . does not approve of my magic. Or me, in general. He and the rest of Asgard just wish that I were like the rest of them, and he attempts at every turn to curb the behavior which is deviant and displeasing to them.” Loki suddenly smirked, “It doesn’t usually have any lasting effects.”

“That is still seriously fucked up. You realise how fucked up that is, right? I mean, why do you even go back there?”

A pained expression crossed his face. “I have, at times, asked myself the same question. But despite what an idiotic oaf he is, Thor is still my brother. He will rule, and I will be by his side when that day comes. Perhaps I’ll even manage to stay his hand from war.” Loki heaved a sigh, but then his next words were softer. “Also, I could not leave my mother.”

Oh, right. Tony had almost forgotten about the Queen that Loki had mentioned that one time. Even in the few words spoken of her, his love had been clear. Well, at least somebody in god-land treated him well. “It’s still fucked up,” Tony announced. 

Loki smiled faintly. “Many things are.”

Tony eyed him almost suspiciously for a moment, the self-deprecating words of when he had crashed on his bed before Afghanistan running through his head. Loki didn’t think he deserved it, right? When the god suddenly arched an eyebrow, Tony realised he’d been staring for a while and suddenly grinned. “Speaking of things that are fucked. . . .” He trailed off, waggling his eyebrows.

Loki laughed out loud, but his expression turned tired after a moment. “Perhaps tomorrow. I’m afraid my body is still recovering.”

Tony nodded, “Yeah, sure, you got it. Bed?” He stood and offered his hand.

Loki smiled gratefully up at him and took it with a smile. “Bed,” he agreed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Couple things:
> 
> First, I purposefully had Tony know about Obie selling his weapons before the party and the pictures of Gulmira. I know that it's not cannon, but it was the way it worked for this. He still didn't find out that Obie had paid for him to be killed until later, and, yes, that kind of got glossed over. Sorry about that; I was really eager to be done with the first movie.
> 
> Second, again, the magic in this story is of my own creation. I sort of feel bad for having Loki give a long lecture about it, but I personally love magic systems, figuring them out, and explaining them, so it kind of got away from me. On the plus side, at least now most of it's out of the way. :)
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	9. I'm impressed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, everyone! I'm really sorry for missing last week's update. I got food poisoning Sunday night and then had to walk in a parade for my cousin who's running for state representative on Monday and then had to go to a family gathering later on the same day. Happy belated Fourth of July for those of you in the States.
> 
> For this chapter, I would like to thank iswyn. She is my favourite frostiron writer of all time, and I never get tired of reading her fics. In particular, Nothing Ventured and Sex Ed helped me through kind of a rough time in my life, and I still read them whenever I'm feeling down or particularly uninspired. I'd also like to thank her and usedupshiver for introducing me to the idea that spanking could be sexy. Because I was utterly not convinced the first time I read it.
> 
> Thank you, iswyn! You are brilliant! =)

The first time Tony woke was to the feeling of water filling his lungs. He gasped and choked, coughing and hacking, when a soft, gentle hand rested on his shoulder and a quiet voice whispered, “Anthony.”

He sat upright, gasping, the god gently rubbing his back in soothing circles. Tony didn’t have nightmares every night, but they weren’t exactly uncommon either. Sometimes Loki could get rid of them before he ever noticed; he didn’t quite know how the god did that, but he wasn’t complaining. Sometimes, though, particularly when Loki was exhausted like he had been, Tony had to be woken manually.

Tony wasn’t generally very nice when he woke either, snapping and once he’d even tried to hit the god, but Loki was eternally patient, and by this time they had slipped into a semi-normal schedule when Loki was staying with him.

Tony might have felt bad, if it weren’t for the fact that Loki had nightmares too. Like Tony, he never wanted to talk about them, and so the inventor had no idea what they were about. He did know that they were about different things though, because Loki reacted drastically different at various times.   


Sometimes he would just flatly stare at everything for long moments after he woke, eyes unblinking, and use his hands to trace the contours of the bedcovers, and, once, Tony’s face. Sometimes he would wake with a jolt and just lay there for a few moments, eyes closed or staring blankly at the ceiling, like he was trying to assure himself that it was in the past. Once he’d woken with a half muffled scream and started clawing at his own face. Tony had had to hold on to his arm, less to restrain him and more just to make him wake up, and Loki didn’t stop freaking out until Tony’s own name had come from his lips. Then he seemed to realise something and had immediately calmed.

Those were bad. Uncommon, but bad. Tony hated it, seeing evidence right before his eyes of how screwed up his best friend’s life had been and how much he needed someone to look out for him. When they had become friends, Tony had gained someone to watch his back, something that Loki had done consistently. Tony hated that he couldn’t repay the favor. So, yeah, those were bad. But they weren’t the worst.

The worst was when Loki didn’t fight back. Usually, he flailed around, fought and struggled and generally smacked into Tony a few times. But Tony honestly preferred that to the other. There was one dream where Loki didn’t struggle or fight, didn’t scream or yell out in garbled Norse. He just laid there and whimpered, his entire body shaking and tensing. When Tony tried to wake him up from that, Loki would just whimper louder and pull away, curling on himself, and generally make Tony feel like an abusive ass because he was reacting that way to his touch.

The first time, Tony had tried to shake him awake, but that just seemed to make it worse. Loki didn’t wake up, and he just started silently crying, tears pouring down his face. Later, Tony had learned the best way to wake him from those dreams was to yell at him. Eventually, Loki would react to Tony’s voice and wake up. He always did so with a shuddering gasp followed by leaving the room. He would go out on the balcony and take long, deep, cleansing breaths. Tony had learned the hard way not to touch him until he was ready for it. A few minutes later, he would come back to bed and snuggle up with Tony. They never spoke of it, but it wrenched Tony’s heart every damn time.

_ What the hell did they do to you? _ was always what he wanted to ask. But he never did, just like Loki never asked details about his capture in Afghanistan. They were just there for one another, like friends were supposed to be. Like no one else in their lives ever were.

It was several hours later when Tony woke the second time, this time to an insistent hard-on within the boxer shorts in which he had gone to bed. Said hard-on was also pressed up against the curve of a really, really fine ass. Tony slowly opened his eyes, his blurry mind met with the sight of a pale, naked back full of lean muscles resting in front of him. Without really thinking about it, he leaned forward and kissed one of the vertebrae showing through his skin and then the next one after that. He left a trail of wet kisses across Loki’s back, and it wasn’t until the god moaned and shifted lethargically that Tony realised he was still asleep.

Well, that was novel. Loki was always, always awake before Tony. That usually wasn’t a bad thing, because the Trickster often saw fit to wake Tony with a really spectacular blow job first thing in the morning. Occasionally, when he was in a bad mood, he would wake him by kicking him out of his own bed, but that didn’t happen often, just after Loki had had a rough night. This was the very first time Tony had ever had the opportunity to wake Loki, and a mischievous grin crossed his face at the possibilities.

Right now, though, he really just wanted to keep tasting him. There was something incredibly fresh about his taste and scent, something cold and highly addictive. It wasn’t like anything Tony had ever experienced before, but he just figured it was a god thing. Or a Loki thing. He was never sure which was which, but it didn’t really matter, because he loved them all.

_ Liked. _ He liked them all.

Tony ran his tongues in swirls across Loki’s back, grinding up against that fine ass and teasing him with gentle touches until, finally, Loki started pushing back against him too. Tony glanced around his head to check and see if he were still sleeping and grinned when he found that he was. He licked across a patch at Loki’s neck and then grazed his teeth over it, causing Loki’s hips to buck forward rather uselessly.

The god moaned in frustration, but when he was sleeping it was surprisingly easy to get him to stay where he was with a simple hand on his bicep, holding him loosely in place.

Tony’s grin widened and he continued his slow ministrations, kissing and licking and sucking along his neck and shoulder and back while he alleviated his own discomfort by grinding into his ass. One of his hands slipped around the front to play with the gods nipples, coaxing them into tight little nubs and then raking his nails across them lightly.

Loki’s hips jolted and a low, deep groan came from the still slumbering god.

Wow, he must have been really tired. Tony felt guilty for just a moment, remembering how exhausted he had been the night before, but, then again, the god had said “tomorrow”. Well, it was tomorrow.

He gave Loki’s nipples another twist before letting his hand wander further down, dipping into the sweatpants that Loki had borrowed. He wrapped his hand loosely around the god’s hard member and then just held it. In his sleep, the god was highly impatient, and he bucked up into the hand almost immediately. Tony grinned and tightened his grip as a reward, allowing Loki to do all the work and fuck himself into Tony’s hand.

A sudden thought occurring to him, Tony grinned massively and started sucking on his own fingers. He loosened his grip around Loki’s member when he felt the god start to get close, holding off his orgasm. Then he took his two fingers and started to slip them down the waistband of Loki’s pants, in between the cheeks of his ass. He had just started to dip one finger inside that tight, uncharted territory, when Loki suddenly jerked away from him.

Barely a second later, the god was lying on top of him, with his hair ruffled and cheeks bearing the marks of the pillow, yet those green eyes were perfectly intense as he pinned Tony’s arms above his head and glowered down at him. “That was incredibly brash of you, Stark,” he growled, his voice way too deep and fucking perfect for being the first words he had spoken that morning.

“Um. . . sorry?” Tony tried, despite knowing that it wouldn’t get him anywhere.

Loki smacked the outside of his thigh, presumably because he couldn’t get to his ass the way they were positioned, and Tony yelped, squirming. Loki had obviously held back, but it still stung like a bitch.

“Fuck! I’m sorry!” he tried again.

“Not yet you’re not,” Loki growled, and then he promptly flipped Tony over with one hand, using the other to support himself and balance. He used magic to basically cuff Tony’s hands together and to the headboard, while he sat down on the human’s legs. “But you will be,” he threatened cheerfully. Then he smacked Tony’s ass. Hard.

“Ah! Shit, shit, shit. Loki, I’m really not-” He was cut off by another loud slap, and he jumped, trying to pull away from the god, which was, of course useless.

Now, Tony had done a lot of things over the years, so over course he had tried some BDSM roleplay. He’d played both sides with men and women. It hadn’t taken him long to realise that no matter how hot the chick was in leather with a whip in her hands, he really preferred being on top if they were going to do this. Even then, it just wasn’t really his thing. He had no problem with toys or whatever, but he generally just liked fucking; no spanking or roleplay required. This wasn’t his scene, and he was planning on telling Loki just that.

But then the god smacked him again, making him yelp and give a rather unmanly squeak, before leaning down and whispering right next to Tony’s ear. “You like it, don’t you? The feeling of my power over you, knowing you have absolutely no say over what comes next. Tell me, how does it feel? Knowing that you won’t be able to sit down for the rest of today without wincing, without thinking of this moment. How does it feel, knowing that when you look in the mirror, there will be my mark on you?”

And, fuck it, Tony moaned, and it had absolutely nothing to do with the sting spreading throughout his entire ass. Or maybe it did? Either way, his hard-on was growing painful again, and he tried to rut against the bed only to have Loki smack him again- harder this time. “Fuck! Loki!”

“Stay still, Stark,” Loki cautioned in a no nonsense tone. His voice was deep, and dark, and sexy as it gave him orders, and Tony shivered at the sound of it.

The next two slaps, alternating between both of his cheeks, were of the normal, more reduced pressure. The sting had started to spread out over his entire ass, giving it a sort of collective warmth that would burst into fire when Loki smacked him again. Suddenly, it was like every slap was going straight to his cock, and Tony had to fight really hard with himself not to move.

Loki seemed pleased though, and there was clear praise in his next words. “Good boy,  _ Anthony _ ,” he purred, and Tony shivered again. The way he said his name had always been sexy, but now, the way he said with such  _ approval _ . . . . Well, Tony probably would have done just about anything Loki had asked him to for that praise again. He flushed deep scarlet at the realisation, but Loki wasn’t done. He continued applying smacks to his buttocks while he continued to speak, his voice taking on a conversational tone. “I think maybe next time we do this, I’ll bend you over my knee properly. You’d like that, wouldn’t you? And you’d take it all, just like you are now, just like a good little whore.”

Damn it, Tony would. He moaned, somehow not even questioning the fact that Loki assumed there would be a next time. Seriously, he had never been a masochist, where the hell was this coming from? As Loki continue his ruthless treatment of his ass, Tony eventually decided that it just didn’t matter. Maybe no one else had done it right; maybe he’d never done it right, but apparently Loki was doing it right, and Loki, somehow, just  _ knew _ . He was with Loki, he trusted Loki, and Loki wouldn’t hurt him. The moment he came to that sudden realisation, it was like all the tension just bled out of his body. Three slaps later, Loki stopped.

“Good boy,” he praised again, gently rubbing circles into Tony’s back. “Did you finally figure it out?” the god whispered.

“You knew?” Tony tried, shocked at how utterly wrecked his voice sounded.

Loki chuckled softly, lovingly, in his ear as he ran his tongue along his hip, right above the elastic waistband of the boxers that he hadn’t bothered to remove. “I suspected. You need to let go sometimes, Anthony.”

“I’ve never enjoyed this before,” Tony admitted softly, hissing as Loki removed his boxers over his heated flesh.

“There’s something very important missing from the equation when you try it with a one-night stand,” Loki informed him, gently rolling Tony over and making him groan again as his ass hit the bed covers. He waited until Tony met his black eyes before stating simply, “Trust. This doesn’t work if you don’t trust your partner.”

Tony smirked, “And you assumed that I trusted you?”

Something flashed through Loki’s eyes before he smiled softly. “I hoped,” he whispered, leaning down and given Tony a gentle kiss. “I trust you.”

Tony grinned when he pulled back, “And I you. In case that wasn’t obvious.”

Loki chuckled and then pushed a finger inside of Tony’s rather tight ass with no warning. It was lubed- fucking magic- but it still stung, less because of the stretch and more because when Tony pulled away instinctively he rubbed his sore ass on the bed.

“Oh, fuck,” he whispered, as the stimulation made his cock jerk and leak out unto his chest. “What did you do to me?”

Loki chuckled softly, leaning down to lick up the precome from his chest. He added another finger without much preamble and then curled them to brush against Tony’s prostate.

The shorter man moaned loudly and shifted, caught in a perfect mix of pleasure and pain that was making it hard to think. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, Loki, fuck,” Tony panted as the fingers continued working in and out of him quickly before adding a third. Tony fucked himself down on the fingers with abandon, heedless of whatever nonsense or filth was spilling from his mouth, his eyes closed because he couldn’t keep them open, even to watch Loki’s beautiful face. “Please,” he begged, utterly uncertain as to for what he was asking.

“Please what, Anthony?” Loki whispered. “You’re being such a perfect boy; what do you want?”

Tony moaned again at the words, his breath coming in short pants as though he had just run a marathon. “Please, Loki, just, please. More,” Tony whimpered, unable to think. It was all so perfect, but he just needed more.

“Now how could I deny my beautiful Anthony?” Loki whispered, and Tony didn’t have the presence of mind to deny Loki’s statement about him being beautiful. The fingers left him, and Tony whimpered pitifully at the loss right before it was replaced by by something bigger.

Loki’s cock was long, thick, hot and perfect, and Tony gave out a hoarse shout as Loki bottomed out in a single thrust. “Oh, gods, please, Loki, move,” he cried out, his voice broken and completely wrecked.

The god didn’t make him wait, finding a rhythm quickly. As he fucked into him, Tony’s sore ass rubbed against the covers, sending more shots of arousal straight to his weepy, needy dick. Then Loki shifted and started hitting his prostate on every thrust with an insane amount of strength and Tony howled.

“Oh, fucking gods! Please! Please, Loki, please!”

“Please what Anthony?” Loki whispered, polite as you please, but there was a hint of strain in his voice.

Tony didn’t care. “Loki, please, just, please! Let me come! Please, please, please!” Tony had never begged this much in his life, not for anything or anyone.

Loki didn’t make him wait much longer, though. He leaned down and brushed a kiss against Tony’s forehead before wrapping a hand around his length.

He moved his hand up and down maybe twice before Tony was coming, shouting hoarsely as Loki fucked him through the best orgasm of his entire fucking life. Tony slowly came down from his high, his entire body oversensitive as Loki continued to fuck into him. He winced; it hurt now, damn it! He wrapped his hands through Loki’s hair and did something he’d never tried before- he pulled.

Loki looked stunned, and then suddenly his rhythm stuttered and he came inside Tony with a muffled groan. His orgasm lasted quite some time, Tony noticed before he finally slipped out of him.

Tony winced at his hypersensitivity but wrapped his arm around Loki, holding him to his chest and preventing him from going far. When he could finally breathe again, he exhaled harshly. “Damn.”

Loki chuckled softly, just as out of breath as Tony was. “Indeed.”

“Thank you,” Tony said seriously, turning to look at him. “That. . . . Wow.”

Loki laughed again, “You are welcome.” He smirked suddenly, “I’ve woken up in worse ways.”

Tony laughed too.

They just laid there for a moment, before Tony’s seriously sore ass started messing up his afterglow. Not to mention the fact that they were sticky. He winced. “Hey, Lokes, do you think you could. . . ?” he trailed off, but the meaning was clear enough as he waved a hand at his own seed splattered across his chest.

Loki blinked, “Oh, right. Sorry.” He smiled somewhat sheepishly and magicked away the mess they had made. Then he suddenly frowned. “Stay there,” he ordered, before slipping out of bed.

Tony was only too happy to comply, watching Loki walk naked across his apartment floor, his ass sashaying as he moved. He disappeared into the bathroom, and Tony frowned as he heard him rattling around in there. What was he doing?

Loki emerged several moments later with a bottle of aloe lotion in his hands. He squirted it out both his hands and then settled down behind Tony.

“What’re you doing?” Tony asked him, voice somewhat slurred. He was still seriously blissed out.

“Hush, now,” Loki murmured softly, and then he gently started working the lotion into his sore, red ass.

Tony hissed at first, and then slowly relaxed as the oil began to take effect. “I thought I was supposed to feel it for days,” he muttered.

“You will,” Loki responded, somewhat amused, “but never believe I wish to hurt you, permanently, in any way, Anthony.”

“I know, Lokes,” Tony responded with a soft yawn. “You wouldn’t hurt me. Not really.”

Loki smiled gently and continued working the oil into his skin. When he was satisfied, Tony was already nearly asleep, and the god simply moved the lotion aside and slipped around him, hugging the shorter man to his chest. “Sleep well, Anthony."

“Mm.” Tony was out in less than a minute, the god holding him close and gently running a hand through his hair.

(0)-(0)-(0)-(0)-(0)

“Did you know about Obie?”

It was a shockingly blunt question, and it had come rather out of the blue. Loki had just been helping out Tony in his lab after he returned from one of his Iron Man missions; they were repairing his suit in mostly companionable silence intermixed with the occasional curse word- Tony- or snarky remark- Loki- when Tony just blurted out the inquiry.

Loki froze in the midst of fixing the wiring on Tony’s left gauntlet and turned wary green eyes on the inventor. “I did not know that he planned to hire people to kill you, if that is to what you are referring. I would have killed him on the spot.”

Tony rolled his eyes. “Yeah, okay, I kind of figured that. But the first night, when you came back, he tried to stop us when we were going out to the back alley. You said something that made him turn white as a sheet, and then you wouldn’t tell me about it. What was that about?”

Loki winced, his eyes falling. “I. . . didn’t know anything in particular.”

“Loki,” Tony’s voice was low, the single word a warning.

“He said that he wanted what was best for you. I have informed you that I can tell when most people are lying. He was,” Loki said simply with a shrug. “I threatened him, but he clearly did not take it to heart.”

“You didn’t think to mention it?” Tony growled, annoyed.

Loki winced again. “I. . . I am sorry. I did not know he meant so much to you at the time, and then, later. . . I didn’t want you to know that betrayal. Just because he didn’t love you as he claimed didn’t mean he was trying to assassinate you. I had no idea, Anthony.” Tony could see the intensity in his expression, the brief removal of some of his masks so that Tony could see how much he really meant it.

The inventor sighed. “Yeah, okay. I guess I figured it must have been something like that. You know, after the fact.”

“So. . . I am forgiven?” Loki tried timidly.

Tony breathed a laugh, “Yeah, Lokes, you’re forgiven. Can’t ever stay mad at you anyway.”

Loki fucking beamed at that, but Tony just couldn’t be irritated with him.

He chuckled softly instead, going back to working on the major damage done to the chest piece of his suit. It was a few moments later when he spoke rather quietly, but seriously, not looking up from his suit. “Hey, Loki?”

“Yes, Anthony?” Loki responded, voice equally serious. Tony could feel the god’s eyes on his back and imagined his arched eyebrow.

“Don’t ever pull that shit where you lie to me to protect me, yeah? I hate it when people do that, and it never turns out well.”

Loki considered for a moment. “I cannot promise never, Anthony,” Loki began, “but I shall keep it in mind and endeavor not to do such a thing. Is that satisfactory?”

He always sounded so formal on the rare occasions when they had serious discussions. Tony supposed it must have been a by-product of being a head negotiator between various planets and races. “Yeah, I guess,” Tony sighed. “I’ll do the same.”

Tony knew the god well enough not to jump when cold, pale arms slipped around his body, pulling him close. Loki was rather clingy at times. He had explained once that physical contact had a soothing effect on his magic or something. Tony had made a joke that using magic made him horny and had been fucked into the workshop table for it. Good times.

“Where has your mind gone, Anthony?” Loki queried suddenly, sounding amused.

Well, it was better than him being pissed at his distraction. “Sex,” Tony responded immediately, turning around in the god's arms and waggling his eyebrows.

Loki chuckled softly, shaking his head. “Are you so insatiable?”

“Would you have me any other way?”

Loki leaned down and kissed him gently. “Never.”

This time, Tony was the one beaming.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so this is the first BDSM related thing I've ever posted, and, honestly, I don't think it came out very well. I almost didn't post it at all, but I didn't want to make you wait another week and I haven't been feeling like writing at all lately, so it stayed. I apologise anyway.
> 
> If you want to read some actual quality writing of this sort of thing, check out Bluemary's fic, Walking in Shadows. She does the BDSM scene extremely well, and I will probably never stop being envious of her Loki.
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	10. I'm sorry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here lies the end of my pre-written chapters.
> 
> Conscience: But it's been about ten weeks since you started posting this. You had plenty of time to keep writing and stay ahead.
> 
> Me: Yeah, but I didn't. Shut up.
> 
> \- A summary of the conversation that's been going through my head for a while now. 
> 
> Basically, I was lazy and didn't feel like writing, so I've only managed to grind out one other chapter during all this time. Also, I signed up for the Frostiron Bang, and I've gone through two ideas that didn't pan out so now this one I'm working on HAS to work or I'm going to be in serious trouble. I haven't felt like writing anything at all, and when I make myself do it, it's to write that. All of this to say that updates are going to become a lot less regular. For now, I'm not even going to try and put an estimate on things. Next week there should be an update, and then I have no idea what will happen until I finish my Frositron Bang. After that, I'll revisit the schedule for this one. Hopefully you'll all think it's worth it when you read my other fic when we post? Maybe?
> 
> Warning (just in case): Dicussion of past rape in this chapter. Also, Odin is an asshole. In case that wasn't clear by now.

“No. Stop. I said STOP!”

Tony woke to a shout coming from the other side of the bed and then a wave of energy kicking him to the floor. The lights flickered and then came back on at low intensity as Tony forced himself into an upright position.

Last night had been awesome. Loki and him had fucked like rabbits until they were both too exhausted to move and then collapsed on the bed. Tony’s sleep had been nightmare free, and up until about five minutes ago, so had Loki’s.

“Shit,” Tony muttered, using the bed to help himself stand. This was new; Loki had never spoken English during his nightmares in the past. At least, not when Tony was awake. “Hey, Lokes,” he tried, his voice somewhat loud, but not shouting. It was really hard to keep your voice gentle when you were trying to wake someone up. “Come on, Loki, open your eyes. You’re with me. You’re safe.” 

Loki didn’t respond to Tony’s words, shifting in the bed like he was trying to throw someone off of him. Wait. . . that was exactly what it looked like. Like he was being pinned to the bed.

“Get off of me!”

Tony moved closer, got on the bed next to Loki, and tried to shake him by his shoulder.

The god suddenly froze, and for a moment Tony thought he’d gotten through to him. Then a low, terrified whimper left his throat, and Tony felt his heart plummet down to his shoes. What the hell could have made Loki make that sound?

“No,” Loki whispered, but his voice was losing both volume and strength. “Don’t.” A heart wrenching sob. “ _ Please. _ ”

Shit, shit, shit. This was not good. “Loki!” Tony shouted at him, uncaring about being gentle now. He could be kind and soft after he got Loki out of whatever hell he was experiencing right now.

Loki had explained once that Aesir memories were even better than humans’; they had to be, because they lived so much longer. Basically, his dreams were fucking perfect replications of memories, especially since his magic could summon up other details. Loki didn’t just dream; he  _ lived. _ And right now he was living a nightmare.

“Loki, come on, babe, wake up!”

Loki didn’t react again, falling utterly silent other than a few whimpers, and now Tony recognised this dream. This was the bad one, the one that made him run away from Tony when he woke up. But it had started differently, and Tony suddenly had too clear a picture of what it was that had happened to him.

For a moment, he just stared down at the god, his arms held up by his hands as though by someone else’s strength, his legs parted slightly. There was a slight rhythm to the whimpers leaving his throat, a pattern to the ripples that ran through his body.  _ Shit. _ Bile started to rise up in his throat as he just stood there, staring as his mind provided a too logical explanation for what had caused this nightmare.

“Sir, perhaps cold water would be advisable.”

Cold water. Tony could have kissed Jarvis. “Thank you, J,” he gasped while he ran to the bathroom, filling up a little glass with cold water and then hurrying back to the bedroom.

Loki hadn’t moved in the slightest, but his whimpers had grown more pained.

Tony splashed the water on his face, wincing as he did so because of his own bad experiences with it, but it wouldn’t hurt Loki, and he fucking  _ had _ to wake him up.

For a moment, he feared it hadn’t worked, but then Loki’s nose suddenly wrinkled up adorably and he sneezed. That seemed to do the trick as he jerked awake. He immediately rolled out of bed, but instead of fleeing the room to get some air, he just curled up a ball against the wall opposite Tony and the bathroom, holding himself and shaking terribly.

Tony wasn’t sure what to do. Normally, he would have gone over and tried to massage his shoulders, attempted to get him to settle down, but after that particular dream, Loki didn’t like to be touched. Tony had a really bad feeling that he knew why.

No, he didn’t like to be touched, Tony frowned, but he did like to hear Tony talk. Loki was the first person ever who actually liked to listen to Tony ramble on, who would listen to him for hours, sometimes without saying a word. He never complained, except maybe when Tony was rambling during sex. It was one of the many things that he lov-  _ liked _ about Loki.

So maybe he could talk. “Hey, Lokes,” he tried, wincing when Loki flinched away from the sound like a startled deer, pulling further in on himself. “Sorry about the water on your face. It was Jarvis’ idea, and I was kind of out of them at the time.” He slowly moved closer, trying to gauge the god’s reaction to his proximity. “You really scared me for a minute there, Lokes. Warn a guy before you shove him out of the bed, won’t you?” Tony slowly knelt in front of Loki and gently reached out a hand to touch his knee. Loki whimpered, and Tony snatched his hand back.

“Okay, I get it. No touching. I’m cool with that. For right now, I mean, ‘cause eventually, I’m gonna want to touch. Can’t really look at you without wanting to touch; you’re so fucking beautiful.”  _ Maybe not the best time, Tony.  _ Right. “Uh. . . listen, babe, I’m almost running out of things to talk about here, and that never happens. So could you maybe help me out a little?”

There was silence for a moment, and then Loki let out a long, shuddering breath, weary, puffy red eyes lifting to meet Tony’s and a bare hint of a smile lifting up the corner of his mouth. “Babe?” he echoed softly.

Tony grinned and then shrugged. “It just slipped out. But I think it could work.”

Loki snorted, slowly unfolding himself and taking deep breaths as he did so.

Tony had done it enough times to recognise a continuing attempt to ward of a panic attack. He wanted nothing more than to reach out and try to help him, but he had a feeling touching was still not a good idea. “What can I do?” he finally asked quietly, fidgeting with his hands in his lap.

There was a pause, and then Loki just shrugged, his walls coming back up in full force. “Go back to bed.” Then he slowly got to his feet and started to leave the room, probably to go back out on the balcony like he normally did.

Tony froze in his bedroom. The unspoken agreement about this whole arrangement was that they didn’t talk about it. They never talked about it. But this. . . this was different, and Tony couldn’t just let it go. Maybe Pepper was right. Maybe talking about it would help, and if it would help Loki then. . . he was game.

Loki was standing out on the balcony, apparently having magicked up a pair of pants, with his back to the door when Tony came out. He had had to put some sweatpants on manually, but the end result was the same. The inventor stopped a few feet away from the railing where Loki stood, and he just started talking.

“You probably already figured this part out, but they drowned me in Afghanistan. Repeatedly.” Tony paused, taking a deep breath, his eyes on the horizon and not on the unmoving god. “There was some whipping too, and that hurt like all kinds of hell. Mostly, though, there was my chest being cut open and waking up to find a battery wired to my heart. That was lots of fun.”

“Why are you telling me this?” Loki asked quietly, his tone unreadable.

Tony shrugged, despite the fact that the god’s back was to him and he couldn’t see. “Pep keeps telling me that talking will help. Figured I might as well give it a shot, right? And better someone I trust than some complete stranger.”

Loki’s jaw clenched. “What do you want from me, Stark?” he suddenly hissed. “Do you hope that by spilling all of your secrets you can inspire me to do the same? Then you’ll know everything, and have all the blackmail material you could possibly need. What would you have me do, once you had that power over me? What would you do?”

“Whoa, there!” Tony responded, eyes wide. “I’m not looking for fucking blackmail material, Loki.”

“Then why?” he turned, his green eyes burning with rage, and, far more telling, tears. “What do you want from me?”

And deep in that question, Tony read something else, because no one ever just wanted Loki. They always wanted something from him, something he could do, something he could give. Just like no one ever wanted Tony. So the inventor looked him straight in the eye when he responded, “Just a friend.”

Loki held his gaze for a good long minute before his walls crumbled away to dust. His face fell, and his legs gave up beneath him as he slipped to the floor.

Tony took the hint and fell to his knees next to him, pulling him somewhat timidly into an embrace. When the action was accepted, he wrapped his arms around his shoulders and buried his face in raven black hair. “I’m not looking for anything from you, Lokes,” he breathed, just to drive the point home.

“You already know, don’t you?” Loki asked quietly, his voice strained. “You figured it out.”

It took Tony a second to realise he was talking about the nightmare again. “I. . . have a guess,” he admitted.

“Which is undoubtedly correct,” Loki responded bitterly. He was quiet for a long moment before he spoke again. “I was young. He was a trusted advisor of my father’s court. I was naive, and he took advantage.”

Tony growled, low in his throat, unbearably angry on behalf of his friend. “How young?” he managed, a jolt of fear going through him.

Loki shrugged. “Young enough that I didn’t have a very good grip on my magic. But I was not a child, if that is your concern.”

“Shit, Loki. Tell me you don’t think that makes it any better.”

“I was not irreversibly damaged,” the god responded simply.

“You- not-” Tony  had to take a very deep breath. “Loki, you’re still experiencing it on a regular basis. That’s pretty damn damaged. And I’m not saying you can’t get better, but first you kind of have to admit that there’s a problem.”

He could feel Loki’s scowl. “Of course there is a problem! I am not justifying his behavior.”

“Where is he now?” Tony asked, hoping that Loki would say he eviscerated him or something. Maybe the All-Daddy threw him into an eternal torment chamber or something; that sounded like something they would have in god-land.

“He serves my father in the court.”

Tony felt like he’d had all the air knocked out of his lungs. Again. “What?!” he screeched.

Loki actually looked amused when he pulled back. “He has not laid a hand on me in many years; were he to try, I would rip out his heart.”

“I don’t care; that’s still not fucking right!”

The god shrugged again, laying his head back down on Tony’s shoulder. “Rape is not that serious of a crime in Asgard. The All-Father has made much of his reputation on such seductions.”

Tony was speechless. “That’s not seducing someone! That’s just. . . . What the hell is wrong with your home, Loki!?”

“Many things,” Loki responded, sounding almost amused again. “But for a man to have his honor taken like that among the Aesir brings more shame to him than the other.” He said it stiffly, like he was just explaining one of the many screwed up things about god-land, but Tony read a lot more into it.

“Loki, you have nothing to be ashamed of,” Tony growled earnestly. “You know that, don’t you?”

There was a moment before some of the tenseness bled out of his form. “I. . . have come to that realisation, yes. I was young, naive. Foolish, perhaps, to trust him, but he was trusted of all the court.”

“So he just gets off scot free?” Tony demanded.

Loki snorted. “Hardly. I could kill him at any time, and I have ample reason to do so. He lives his life in constant fear.”

“Why haven’t you?”

“They would know it was me,” he admitted.

“Doesn’t he have any other enemies?”

“Not such as me within Asgard.”

“But I thought they didn’t know.”

Loki hesitated. “I brought the matter before my father, but I was accusing a high member of his council. And I, the God of Lies, was doing so alone. No one substantiated my claim, and there was no physical evidence by that time.”

“So your very own father accused you of making that up?” Tony breathed, aghast.

“Basically,” the god agreed rather coldly. “Such is the way of the court.”

“Shit, Loki,” Tony repeated. “That is just so. . . fucked up.”

Loki breathed a soft laugh. “In many ways, yes.”

“So that’s it? He did nothing?”

Loki hesitated again. “Not exactly nothing.” When Tony just waited, he sighed and continued. “He had the dwarves sew my mouth shut for slandering a member of his council.”

Tony was really, really glad at that moment that he wasn’t holding on to anything fragile, because his grip tightened to the point of pain for most people on Loki’s shoulders. “What?” he asked, his voice deadly calm.

Loki sighed. “It was a magical cord that I couldn’t cut. It stayed on for about three months, during which time I basically stayed in my chambers. I made great leaps and bounds with my magic during those days,” he mused, like that excused it.

“Your own fucking father punished you for telling him that somebody raped you!?” Tony practically screamed.

“Not my father, Anthony, the All-Father,” Loki corrected. “As a king, he couldn’t give his child preferential treatment. I have earned the title of Trickster, and I shouldn’t have brought it before him without proof. The punishment was. . . appropriate to the perceived crime.”

“Please do not tell me you are actually defending that fucker.”

Loki winced and then sighed again. “I. . . . No. What he did was wrong. But many judgements that my father makes are harsh. I was a fool to bring it before him.”

“I- you- that’s not right!”

“No, but life is rarely kind or fair. We’ve both learned that the hard way, have we not?”

Tony was silent for a long moment. “You know that you can tell me anything, right?”

Loki smiled gently. “We would not be having this conversation if I did not. I trust you, Anthony. Forgive me for ever casting that in doubt.”

He shook his head, “No, I get it. This is just all. . . so fucked up.” There was really no other way to put it.

Loki just nodded again, offering another slight smile. “Not everything is, though.”

Well, if that wasn’t the sweetest thing Tony had ever heard, he didn’t know what was. He squeezed the god tighter. “I’m sorry, Loki.”

“Why are you sorry? You are the only one who has just. . . believed me. Trusted me.”

And boy did that just bring on a whole other host of issues. Seriously, if he ever met Loki’s family, he was going to kick all of their godly asses. “Yeah, but no one else is gonna say it, so I will. I’m sorry, Loki.”

Loki’s mouth lifted into a small smile, and he planted a soft kiss on Tony’s cheek. “I know how you can make it up to me.”

Tony blinked, “Oh?”

Loki stood, smiling mischievously as he offered Tony a hand. He pulled the shorter man into his chest and gazed down at him with glittering green eyes. “Never call me babe again.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't actually think Odin is this bad in the movies, but I'm taking some things (obviously) from Norse Mythology where Odin was somewhat known for being a rapist.
> 
> Suffice to say that after reading up more on the myths, I dislike Odin even more than I already did.
> 
> Thanks for reading! Comments make my day, even when I can't muster the energy to respond right away. =)


	11. Have you come to gloat? to mock?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, everyone! Sorry for the delay again and also for the lack of response to pretty much every form of internet communication. Something happened last Sunday that made me take a break from pretty much my entire online life, but I'm back now. =) Unfortunately, since this is the last chapter I have written and also since I'm probably going to be out of town next Sunday, it will be at least two weeks, possibly longer until the next update. I will try not to let this go for too long, but I'm not going to make promises because I don't like to break them.
> 
> Thank you to everyone for all their support! I'm not going to go into details, but suffice it to say that without all your comments and well-wishes there is a strong possibility that I might not have come back to this fic or fanfiction in general. Thank you.
> 
> In particular, thank you to Red Dragonn! Not only is s/he a faithful commenter (thank you!), but s/he has also posted a couple recent fics that are absolutely brilliant. S/he gave me the idea of using Jormi as a nickname for Jormungand, which I really appreciate since I was not calling him "the Midgard Serpent".
> 
> Red, you're fantastic. =)
> 
> I hope you all enjoy the chapter.

“I hate Thor!” Loki proclaimed loudly as he teleported into the penthouse of Stark Tower, flopping down on Tony’s couch without preamble.

Tony chuckled from where he was standing behind the bar, getting himself a drink. Thor’s last diplomatic disaster had gotten Loki out of traveling around the NIne Realms for a while, making his visits more frequent. However, it had also placed him as head negotiator between a bunch of angry aliens, again, and he really seemed to dislike that job. “What did he do now?”

“I had a treaty; both sides had the damnable golden pens in their bloody hands, literally  _ seconds _ away from signing it, when the great oaf barges in and declares that he’s had success with his hunting. He drops his most recent prey down on the table, and it is a bloody white stag. The creature that the druidic faction of the Light Elves literally worship. He killed their god,” Loki moaned, rolling over on the couch and burying his head in his pillow. “Now I have to start all over again. And find another white stag. Do you have any idea how hard those are to catch?”

Tony came over and sat down at the foot of the couch, moving Loki’s feet as he sipped from his scotch. “Sounds like you need a drink.”

“Actually, I was thinking sex,” Loki said with a smirk as he rolled over, perking up considerably.

Tony laughed and downed the rest of his drink in one draught. “Well, I can’t very well say no to my god, now, can I?”

Loki looked smug. “No, you most certainly cannot.” He shifted into a sitting position and met Tony’s lips for a passionate kiss.

Tony didn’t even fight for dominance; Loki needed to be in charge tonight. He usually did after dealing with a bunch of disobedient bureaucrats, and Tony didn’t blame him. He had Pepper to deal with most of his, after all.

The kiss was just about to lead to more interesting things when, suddenly, there was a crackle of thunder across the sky and Loki stiffened in his arms.

“Hey, you okay?” Tony asked as he pulled back slightly, frowning concernedly at the god.

Loki gave a slight shudder and looked down, not meeting Tony’s gaze. “Sorry,” he murmured, “I don’t much care for thunderstorms.”

“Does it have something to do with Thor being the god of thunder?” Tony blurted. Before he could even think to pat himself on the back for making the connection, he was hit by the possible implications of what he had just said, and, worse yet, Loki’s slight wince in reaction. “You don’t have to tell me,” Tony was quick to assure, gently rubbing Loki’s back in soothing circles.

Loki shrugged, still not looking up. “There’s not really that much to tell,” he lied simply, but he looked around the room nervously as another boom of thunder crackled across the sky.

Tony gave him a look but didn’t push it; if Loki didn’t want to talk about it then he didn’t want to talk about it. “Want to watch a movie?” he offered. “Jarvis’ll drop the shades and we can crank it up really loud.”

Loki smiled at him gratefully. “That sounds. . . nice.”

The pair of them migrated over the different couch set up in front of the television, and Tony told Jarvis to put on a loud action movie. The AI closed the shades without needing a command, and Tony flopped down on the couch with his arm thrown over the back. Loki almost immediately settled down right next to him, curling into his chest and laying his head over the inventor’s heart.

Tony gently carded his hand through Loki’s hair while they both stared at the screen, neither of them actually watching the movie. Loki tensed up every time another crash of thunder echoed in the distance, but, in time, the storm moved on, and there was just the sound of rain beating against the windows once more.

“I had a friend,” Loki began softly, out of the blue.

The end credits were rolling on the movie, and Jarvis had turned down the volume considerably with the departure of the thunder. Tony’s hand hesitated briefly as he ran it through Loki’s hair, but that was the only sign of his surprise. He remained silent.

“Her name was Angrboda, and she was. . . not Asgardian. She and I were quite close, despite the fact that she was half Jotun. The Asgardians tolerated her for her uses, and her magic was rather intriguing. She taught me much in the way of shapeshifting, even though our friendship had to remain a secret. It could not be known that a prince of Asgard was fraternising with one with the blood of a Frost Giant.” He fell silent for a long moment and then let out a quiet breath. “Thor killed her.”

The blunt words made Tony freeze up, but Loki wasn’t done. “We were in a cave on the cliffs of Alfheim, supposed to be alone, when all of a sudden it started storming. It didn’t sit right with me, the storm, but I let myself be convinced it was nothing. We had time to run. We could have run. But we didn’t.” He sighed. “Thor arrived and carried out his orders to slay her. I was taken back to Asgard and punished for my. . . behaviour.”

Tony tightened the grip of his arm around Loki, pulling him farther into his chest. “I’m sorry,” he whispered against his hair. “I’m so sorry.”

“She was a Frost Giant,” Loki said softly. “All Jotun are considered abominations. Just because Angie was tolerated. . . . I should have known better.”

“She was your friend; you didn’t deserve to have to watch her die. She didn’t deserve to die! Why was she killed, anyway?”   


“A prophecy.” Loki took a deep breath and pulled himself upright on the couch. “It was foreseen that she would bear the Children of Perdition, those who would bring about Ragnarok and the end of days.”

Tony stared at him flatly. “You’re kidding.”

“Our seers are rarely wrong,” Loki shrugged.

“So they killed her for something she might have done?”

“Actually,” he hesitated, “she already had. At least, the Asgardians believe that the three children she bore may one day bring about the end.”

“Why weren’t they killed too then?”

Loki flinched, and Tony wasn’t sure why. “Because their father begged for their lives,” Loki whispered, and Tony was pretty damn sure those were tears in his eyes.

Everything clicked. “You have kids?” he breathed, stunned.

Loki breathed a choked laugh. “Yes,” he admitted after a moment, not meeting Tony’s eyes, “I do.”

“Where? Who? That’s. . . amazing,” Tony murmured, deciding to ignore for the rest of it for the moment.

His response elicited a watery smile. “You. . . don’t mind?”

“Lokes, everybody has a past. As long as that’s all it is, I don’t mind.” Wait, what? He shouldn’t mind anyway. They weren’t-

“There’s been no one since you,” Loki said softly, green eyes far too knowing for Tony’s taste.

Tony’s brain completely derailed. “I- you-” He stopped, heart pounding in his chest. “There’s been no one since you either.”

Loki snorted. “I should hope not; I am a very jealous god, after all.”

Tony grinned. “So, kids?” he prodded, wanting to know more. “Will I ever get to meet them?”

Loki shrugged. “That would be up to them. Jormungand lives here on Midgard- most of the time, anyway. Fenrir has ways to travel between realms, and he does so freely. Hel rules the realm of the dead as commanded by my father. She doesn’t really mind though.” He paused and then smirked, “Sometimes I think Father might actually be afraid of her. I haven’t spoken to Fenrir in. . . too long. Jormi is somewhat in hiding. Hel and I talk regularly though, and she has expressed an interest in seeing you.”   


“Whoa, she knows about me?”

Loki looked at him like he had just said something incredibly thick. “Of course she does. Hel is a powerful seeress. Also. . . I may have asked her for advice once or twice.”

Tony laughed softly. “I see. You’re close then?”

“I try,” Loki shrugged. “It’s rather difficult at times, but. . . she’s never seemed to hold her mother’s death against me.”

Well that got very somber very quickly. “That’s because it wasn’t your fault, Lokes,” Tony told him firmly, looking him right in the eye.

Loki fidgeted a bit and glanced around the room. Then he sighed. “I should probably head back soon. Speaking of which, Thor will be resuming his circuit around the Nine Realms as soon as things are settled here, and I probably won’t be able to get away for a while again. I am sorry.”

“Not your fault,” Tony responded immediately, though he couldn’t quite hide his disappointment at the news. “I don’t much like your brother, but I kind of can’t wait for him to hurry up and be coronated already just so that I can have you back.”

Loki offered a smile, but it was rather troubled. “I fear what he will do to Asgard,” he whispered.

Tony stroked his face. “Is there nothing to be done?”

“Not unless Father opens his eyes and  _ sees _ his foolishness. Considering how long it's been now, I doubt such a thing will happen.”

“Isn’t there  _ anything _ he could do that would make Odin see?”

Loki thought about it for a moment. “Possibly, but. . . there would be no reason for him to. . . .” He stopped, frowning in that way he did when he was thinking particularly hard about something. He smiled at Tony, even though Tony could still see his mind ticking away behind those green eyes. “I suppose we will just have to pray for a miracle.”

“You’re a god; do you pray?”

“Sometimes, to the Norns, but not since I was a child,” Loki told him as he stood.

Tony whined. “Do you really have to go? There was no sex.”

Loki chuckled and leaned in to kiss him. “I’ll try to get away again before we leave. Farewell, Anthony.”

“Bye,” Tony echoed, and then Loki simply vanished from sight.

(0)-(0)-(0)-(0)-(0)

“Yes, my lord. I will be certain to bring that before the All-Father when next I see him.” Loki bowed deeply to the Elvish Ambassador and continued murmuring pleasantries and farewells until the man was good and truly gone; finally, Loki was able to close the door behind him with a resounding click. He sagged against the wood as soon as the various diplomats were no longer in sight. "When is Father’s newly appointed negotiator going to arrive?” he asked Thor wearily, not looking at him.

“In approximately three hours, brother,” Thor boomed. He walked over and laid a hand on Loki’s shoulder from which he barely restrained himself from flinching away. “I’m truly sorry for any trouble I’ve caused you of late.”

Loki didn’t have to look up to know he looked like a kicked puppy. He heaved a sigh. “I know, Thor.” Indeed, Thor was very rarely  _ trying _ to cause trouble for anyone; it was just a by-product of his raucous behaviour and the fact that he never tried  _ not _ to cause trouble. Loki slipped away from him, thinking. Three hours could be enough time to visit Anthony, but he simply didn’t have the energy to do so at the moment. He normally found it impossible to sleep in unfamiliar places, but perhaps a short nap would not be out of the question.

“I was going to go down to a tavern with the others, if you’d like to accompany us?”

“No, I-” Loki cut off, the words registering. “Thor, you can’t go drinking."

Thor frowned. “Why not?”

“Because you getting drunk is the absolute last thing we need right now,” Loki explained softly, his migraine coming back in full force. The plush bed in the guest chambers he had been assigned was sounding more and more appealing by the minute.

“But, Loki-”   


“No. Remain confined here to the guest areas, and  _ don’t talk to anyone _ . Don’t touch anything. Just. . . aren’t you tired?”

Thor was pouting. “The others will all be going to a tavern.”

“I’m sure if their crown prince requests it, they will happily stay.” Loki laid a hand on his brother’s shoulder. “Please, Thor, just keep your head down until we can hand this whole thing off to the new negotiator and leave this realm. Please?”

Thor looked unhappy about it, but he nodded, “Of course, little brother.” Loki restrained a grimace as the blond ruffled his hair. “I will behave.” He chuckled in a way that had Loki feeling anything but confident and then left the area.

Loki stared at the door for a moment. He should probably go after him, make certain he didn’t cause any more troubles by accidentally breaking a priceless artifact with that blasted hammer of his or by insulting one of their gods, but the bed just sounded so appealing. Anyway, he wouldn’t be any use to anyone if he fell asleep in the middle of a hallway somewhere. His mind made up, Loki stumbled into his bedroom, stripped himself of his armor with a flash of magic, and collapsed on his bed. He was asleep the moment his head hit the pillow.

Swirling colors and energies wrapped around the young mage, surrounding him and holding him in their formless embrace. They permeated his body and helped restore his natural energies. His mind was open to the life forces flowing around him, his  _ seid _ , his natural, internal magic reveling in the freedom it was granted in Loki’s rest. His mind extended, reaching out to brush against the consciousnesses of the inhabitants of the realm. All the busy thoughts and emotions washed over him like a wave, and left him suspended in a world where nothing was important, where there were no worries or pain. It was peaceful.

The new presence pushed up against his mind like a sledgehammer taken to his brain, startling Loki awake in a flash. He pulled one of his daggers from the netherspace and rolled off his bed, landing in a crouched defensive position before he even had a chance to blink or evaluate the room. He cast out his mind, looking for foes, and found. . . nothing. There was no one in his chambers.

Frowning, Loki straightened and used his eyes to glance over the room. There was no one there. What had startled him so? He took a deep, steadying breath and once again allowed his  _ seid _ to expand on its own, seeking out what it perceived as a threat. There was a familiar magic out there, something sharper and stronger than Thor, and distinctly not Asgardian.

_ Hello, Princess. _

Loki snapped his magic back to himself, barely able to restrain his suddenly violent  _ seid _ that wanted nothing more than to rip apart every molecule of the Vanir currently talking with Thor in the lounge.

Frey. Odin had sent Frey to take over the negotiations.

Loki slammed his mind in on itself, throwing up mental wall after metal wall to keep the Vanir from getting even the slightest sense of the distress suddenly coursing through him.

Frey was here. Frey was right outside his bedroom. Judging by the feeling of revulsion running through his very essence, Frey had been pushing on his mind and magic while he had been sleeping. Yet another violation to add to the list.

Why had Odin sent him? Why had Frigga- no. Mother was not to blame for this. She had no idea what Frey had done to him, nor would she ever have suspected her brother of being capable of doing such a thing. Loki ground his teeth together in frustration. He wondered if Odin had done it purposefully to spite him because he had been unable to wrap up the incident as swiftly as Father would have liked, or if the All-Father had simply completely forgotten about the whole thing, put it from his mind.

Or maybe it simply didn’t matter. Frey was a renowned negotiator; it made sense that he would be sent to clean up Thor’s mess. Loki’s mess. Undoubtedly Odin hadn’t forgotten, but since he didn’t believe Loki’s accusation, it simply didn’t come into the calculations. Frey was sent because this was his territory. Loki’s discomfort was irrelevant in the grand scheme of things.

Loki took several deep, calming breaths to ground himself. Think about something else. Normally, he turned to the natural flow of magic for calm, but his  _ seid _ was angered and raging within him, making that utterly ineffective. What had he turned to when his magic itself had been causing him pain not so long ago?

_ Anthony. _

Loki closed his eyes and immersed himself in the memory. Anthony’s arms were wrapped around him while his low, smooth voice rumbled in his ears. The scent of him, sweaty from his time in the workshop, but spicy and warm, surrounded him, anchored him away from the pain. Even in his nightmares, Anthony’s presence made things better somehow. It was easier to cope with the darkness when he knew that when it was over he would be able to open his eyes to find his mortal tucked into his side.

Slowly, his heart rate slowed and returned to normal. Loki opened his eyes and schooled his expression. This was hardly the first time that he had been forced to cope with Frey’s presence; he could deal with it. Wasn’t like he had much of a choice, anyway.

With a flash of magic, he pulled his armor back onto him, sliding his knife into a sheath on his belt rather than vanishing it to the netherspace. He wanted Frey to know he was armed. Inside, he knew that he far outclassed his uncle now in the ways of sorcery. He knew that Frey’s skills had never lay in physical combat, and he could probably even defeat him in a simple duel. None of that particularly helped his nerves as he pushed open the door and entered the lounge.

Both Frey and Thor immediately looked up from their conversation, the former standing and crossing the few steps between the couch where he had sat and the door to Loki’s room. He got closer than he should have, standing in Loki’s personal space, but not close enough that it would be considered improper. “Loki; it’s good to see you,” he greeted, reaching out to clap him on the shoulder, something that Loki only ever allowed Thor to do on a good day.

The mage grit his teeth at the action. “Frey,” he responded, voice cold before turning to his brother. “You should have woken me when he arrived.” Or several moments before. Also, a heads up as to the fact that he was the one who was coming would have been nice.

“My apologies, brother. He arrived early,” Thor said with a shrug as he stood as well, “and I was able to keep our uncle entertained.” It was a not-so-subtle reminder that Loki’s greeting had been quite disrespectful.

Frey laughed lightly, “I didn’t mean to catch you off guard. If you’re not prepared for-”   


“No,” Loki cut him off immediately, taking the opportunity to move away and put some distance between them, “I have all the material you’ll need right here.”

“Excellent, but there’s no hurry. Surely you’ll be staying for the dinner this evening.”

Loki’s jaw was clenched so hard it was a wonder his teeth were able to bear the strain. “I had not been intending to, no.”

“Oh, come now! Good food, good wine, good women, what more could you possibly want from a celebration?”

Thor laughed, clapping Loki on the back and making the smaller Aesir jump slightly. “Loki has no interest in any of those things. My genius brother would rather be curled up in his room with a book.”

“Perhaps I simply don’t concur with your definition of ‘good’,” Loki snapped, grabbing the roll of parchment. He handed it to Frey, only getting as close as he was forced. “Here; this is the record of the negotiations so far.”

Frey nodded, not even looking at it. “I’m sure you’ve been very thorough. Honestly, when I heard you were leading the negotiations here, I assumed I wouldn’t be needed, considering your renown.”

Loki didn’t respond to the goading. He had failed, and now Frey was here. There was no need to rehash any of it.

“I’m afraid that was my fault, actually,” Thor began, and Loki had to restrain a groan. “Loki had the negotiations finished when I ruined everything.”

“Hmm,” Frey mused, a smirk on his face while Loki felt an urge to drop Thor out of the highest palace window without his hammer. “I’m sure it was unintentional, Thor, and you are certainly not to blame if your knowledge of the situation was lacking.”

It had been Loki’s duty to make certain Thor kept his nose clean. Though it was hardly fair to blame him for the oaf’s lack of education, that, too, would undoubtedly fall upon his shoulders. When Frey returned to Asgard, Loki had no doubt that the Vanir would bring all of it before Odin and that he would be paying a steep price for allowing Thor free reign during his time here.

Thor smiled slightly, “My thanks, Uncle.” Because of course he missed the implications. Thor never seemed to be able to comprehend how his actions might affect anyone besides himself.

“Perhaps you would like to take your leave while Loki and I discuss the situation?”

“He can’t,” Loki interrupted the conversation before Thor could escape and leave him alone with Frey. Much as the oaf’s presence was irritating, at least he could trust Frey to mostly keep his hands to himself while Thor was there. “Considering what happened the last time I allowed him to leave, he’s been confined to the palace. Anyway, he should stay for the discussions; maybe he could learn something.”

Thor pouted again. “But, Loki-”   


“We already discussed this.”

“Ah, but this is likely his last day on Alfheim for some time. Let him go and live a little. After all, I’ll be the one to deal with the repercussions this time.”

Thor beamed. “Thank you, Uncle!” And then he was simply gone.

Leaving Loki alone with the smirking bastard.

Frey smiled maliciously. “Well, that’s much more peaceful now, isn’t it?”


	12. So it's personal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I'm a little off my two-week goal, but only by a day. Sorry. I'm going to try to keep up this bi-weekly updating schedule; it seems to be working out pretty well.
> 
> On another note, I seem to have lost the ability to write decent smut. No idea what happened to it; hopefully I'll find it soon. Until then, you have my apologies.
> 
> I hope you enjoy the new chapter!

Tony huffed, squinting at his arc reactor. There was something off about it. Something not quite right. He rubbed at his chest around where all the scarring was, feeling uncomfortable. “Hey, J, nothing came back on the other tests you ran?”

“No, Sir. You appear to be in perfect health.”

“What didn’t we do? Is there something else we can do?” Maybe he was just imagining it.

“Perhaps a blood test, sir?"

But it couldn’t hurt to be certain. “Yeah, let’s do a blood test.” Tony pricked his finger and gave Jarvis a sample.   


He was about to sit down and try to focus on his project, although he had a feeling he was more likely to do nothing and fret, when Jarvis suddenly announced. “Sir, Master Loki is upstairs.”

Just like that, all his worries vanished, and he was on his feet. “I’ll ask you about the results later; I’ve got a date.” He took the elevator upstairs and walked out with a broad grin on his face, whistling an AC/DC tune. “You could have at least called,” he teased, rounding the corner- only to stop dead.

Loki was standing there alright, outfitted in all his Asgardian leather and metal, but he wasn’t sitting at the bar getting himself a drink or casually reclined on the couch. He was just standing there, in the middle of the kitchen, staring at his trembling hands.

HIs hands which were covered in blood.

Tony lurched forward, everything but Loki’s wellbeing going out the window. “Loki! Are you okay? What happened?”

Loki took a stumbling step back from him, almost falling, and Tony stopped in his tracks, his arms still extended to help steady or maybe catch the god if he were to collapse.

He pulled them back timidly, trying to look less threatening. “Loki? Are you hurt? Can you look at me?”

Ever so slowly, Loki lifted his head, and Tony had to fight not to take a step back himself. There was a manic look in his eyes, a murderous look that Tony had never before seen on his friend. Those green eyes were filled with insanity and rage and  _ pain _ . So much pain.

On the one hand, it was easy to tell that Tony really shouldn’t get any closer to him as he was. On the other, he wanted nothing more than to run over to the god and pull him into his arms and just. . . make him stop hurting. If he could have had anything in the world at that moment, if he had found some kind of fucking genie and gotten to ask for anything, it would have been that.  _ Take away his pain. _ “Loki?”

Like it generally seemed to, talking to him helped. Loki blinked, rather lethargically, a few times and the manic look faded. “Anthony,” he breathed. It wasn’t a question, just sheer, utter relief.

Tony figured that meant it was safe, and he closed the distance between them in a few steps. “Are you hurt?”

Loki didn’t seem to understand the question at first, brow furrowing in confusion, and then he suddenly seemed to remember the blood. “Oh. No. It’s. . . it’s not mine.”

Okay. He wasn’t sure that answer should make him as utterly giddy and relieved as it did, but Tony wasn’t about to worry about his moral compass at the moment. “You want to sit? You look kind of. . . dizzy.”  _ Out of it. Like you’re about to faint. And seconds ago you kind of looked like you were going to rip my heart out. Which, judging by the copious amounts of blood, you might have already done to somebody else. _ “You want to tell me who’s blood it is?” he asked as he got Loki seated, making sure it was phrased lightly as a question, not a demand.

At the moment, Tony was a little worried that he’d gone off on his father. Despite the absolute fucking asshole Odin All-Daddy was, Tony didn’t think Loki could handle killing him. He admitted that he wasn’t perfect, but Tony could tell that even though Loki knew logically that some of the things he did were wrong, he still wanted to please him. He still wanted Odin’s love. It was heartbreaking, although Tony tried not to think about it too often, since it led to other thoughts about a drunk inventor who made spectacular weapons that were used to kill innocent people in order to live up to the legacy of a dead man who had never loved him.

The inquiry seemed to jolt Loki back to reality though, because a moment later he magicked away the whole mess. He looked at Tony for a long moment, unreadable thoughts moving behind those intense green eyes. Then he leaned forward and kissed him.

Tony was thrown off guard by the action at first, though he recovered quickly and returned the kiss. There was something different about this though. Sometimes Loki liked it fast and hard, other times he would go so excruciatingly slow that Tony would want to scream, taking his time to pull the engineer apart at the seams. This was neither. This was. . . urgency, and, beyond that, desperation. That opinion was further confirmed as Loki magicked away their clothes without even pausing in the kiss, using Tony’s squawk of surprise to slip his tongue into the shorter man’s mouth.

Loki pushed Tony back on the couch without breaking the kiss, laying himself out on top of him. One of his hands wormed its way between their bodies, and Tony gasped as he wrapped his long fingers around his cock, stroking him quickly to full hardness. He pulled back to let Tony breathe only to suck a mark into his neck. Tony combed his hands through Loki’s hair, worry for the god battling for attention in his arousal fogged mind.

A slender finger pushed inside of him, making Tony moan and swear as Loki returned to his mouth. He prepared him quickly but thoroughly, so much raw emotion in his actions that Tony felt like he was drowning in unspoken words. When he sheathed himself fully several minutes later, utterly silent as he panted against Tony’s neck, Tony wrapped his arms around the god and layered open mouthed kisses to his neck and shoulder where he could reach.

The desperation and urgency came back as Loki fucked into him, along with hint of mania deep in his green eyes, but as Loki moved into him, Tony’s arousal had reached such heights that Tony could barely register it. Even though he tried to hold on to fleeting thoughts, worries and concerns, soon everything narrowed down to the pulsing waves of pleasure coming from the point where he and Loki joined together.

Tony came first, his orgasm crashing over him like a wave as he cried out to the heavens, but Loki didn’t even pause, moving into him even harder it seemed until, finally, his hips stuttered and he came with a muffled groan, falling down on top of Tony. The pair of them simply laid there, naked on the couch, until Loki suddenly shifted.

“Anthony. . . do you think I am a good person?” he whispered softly into the hollow of Tony’s neck, the question catching him just as off guard as the sudden sex had.

“Yes. But I also think that good is pretty relative,” Tony responded after a moment.

“I’ve killed people, you know,” he commented, sounding almost off hand.

“I. . . figured, yeah.” It wasn’t something Tony thought about all that often, but it would have surprised him more to learn that Loki hadn’t. “So have I.”

“I’m not referring to self-defense, Anthony. I’ve murdered people. Assassinated them, even.”

There was a brief pause, and Tony thought back to those in the Ten Rings, the men who had run only to find a bullet in their backs. He thought about the hundreds, thousands of innocents whose lives his weapons stole. “So have I,” he repeated.

Loki didn’t argue, but he took a breath before his next words. “I’ve tortured people too.”

That one made Tony pause, the memory of water rushing into his lungs making his arms tighten around the god lying on his chest. “For fun?” he finally asked.

Loki seemed to consider for a moment. “No,” there was a brief hesitation before his response was followed by, “but there are some I  _ could _ take pleasure in torturing.”

And Tony understood that too. “Yeah,” he agreed with a mirthless laugh. He thought for another moment. “Maybe we’re not good people, Lokes, but we’re not bad either. Maybe we’re just. . . human.” He paused and then added, “No offense.”

Loki laughed softly, his breath raising goose bumps on Tony’s naked flesh. “Perhaps.” Then he leaned up and kissed Tony’s forehead, causing Tony to blink rather stupidly, feeling his brain come to a screeching halt. “You’re a good man, Anthony,” Loki whispered. “A better one than I deserve.”

Tony frowned, but before he could protest, Loki pressed their lips gently together. As he closed his eyes with a muffled moan, the weight of the god suddenly vanished, and Tony snapped his eyes open with a frown.

Loki was gone.

(0)-(0)-(0)-(0)-(0)

“I don’t understand why we haven’t just killed him.”

“Because that is not what was requested of us.”

“Look at him! If anyone has ever deserved to die, it’s him, and I’ve killed people for a lot less.”

“Oh, believe me, I am very much aware. I’ve had more than a few of your  _ marks _ come through here reeking of your foul stench.”

“My stench? Sis, you should let a healer check you out if you can smell me but not this place. It reeks of rotting flesh down here.”

“This place, as you so kindly put it, is my home, and you ought to take care how you speak of it.”

“Your home.” Snort. “More like your exile. We all know that you’d rather be just about anywhere but here.”

“At least I have a place I can call home.”

“I’d rather live in a black hole than this festering dump.”

“That could be arranged.”

A roll of shimmering green and gold went through the middle of the dungeon chambers, and Loki materialised in the room.

Chained to a stone wall opposite the door behind Loki was Frey, naked and gagged, standing on cut bare feet with his arms held by black cuffs made of enchanted steel. He glared daggers at Loki as he arrived.

Loki ignored him, choosing instead to focus on the two jailors who looked like they were about ready to rip out one another’s throats.

On his right stood a small, petite, beautiful woman who bore more the shape of a girl. Her skin was smooth, and the left side was incredibly pale, almost unnaturally so; her hair was black, utterly devoid of all color save for a small portion on her left side that was white as snow. Her left eye was a sharp, bright green, like a single emerald star. The right side of her face, however, and right hand as well, was a dark, deep, Jotun blue, the color of the endless sea. Her black hair was swept in front of her face and mostly covered it and her single, pure red eye, the color of Muspelheim coal. She wore a brown fur tunic and black leather pants with black boots that came up nearly to her knees. Despite being over a head shorter than everyone else in the room and having the features of a fey-like child, both her eyes glowed with wisdom and knowledge of the ages.

The man on the left was utterly different. He was tall, the same height as Loki, but extremely thin and lanky. His hair was spiked up and was a light green color, and he wore a ripped white tank-top of Midgardian wear and equally torn, faded jeans with no shoes. His skin looked normal, but when viewed under a certain light it almost seemed to take on a slightly green, scaly nature. His amber eyes were the unblinking eyes of a snake.

Both turned sharply to look at Loki as he arrived in the dungeons.

The woman immediately rushed into Loki’s arms, and he embraced her, bending down press a kiss atop her head. “Hel,” he greeted her softly before giving a nod to the man who had snorted and gone back to leaning against the cavern wall. “Jormi.”

The Midgard Serpent, as he had long been called, gave a smirk at his father’s acknowledgment and a slight nod. “Could you tell her that it smells down here? She doesn’t seem to believe me."

Loki smirked as Hel pulled back to glare at her brother with her mismatched eyes. “Sometimes I wonder how you managed to survive your childhood together,” he mused jestingly.

As one, the twins responded with, “Fenrir.”

Loki smiled and turned to face his youngest.

Fenrir was standing behind them, clothed entirely in black, with a massive cloak that helped him conceal himself in the shadows. His fairly short, scruffy hair was as black as his sister’s, but his eyes were a stormy gray color and his skin tone was darker than the rest of theirs. He was taller than the other occupants of the room, including Loki, but not lanky like Jormungand. A black hilted blade was strapped at his waist, and his gloved hand rested on it casually. “Father,” he greeted Loki respectfully.

“Fenrir. I trust everything went well?”

“Aside from these two trying to bait one another into biting their respective heads off.”

Jormi looked smug while Hel smiled a bit sheepishly, walking over and looping her arm through Fenrir’s, their vast size difference making Loki smile fondly.

“Sorry, Fen. He always brings out the worst in me. Come on; let me show you around.”

Fenrir paused before allowing her to turn him around towards the door, arching an eyebrow at Loki.

He waved them off. “We’ll be fine. Go ahead.”

The pair of them left.

Loki cast a brief questioning look at Jormi, who shrugged and removed himself to a far corner, but remained in the room.

He wasn’t sure whether to be amused or touched by the fact that they didn’t seem to be willing to leave him alone with Frey.

With a snap of his fingers, the gag disappeared, and Frey coughed. “I don’t know what you think you’ve accomplished by this. When your father hears of it-”

“Father isn’t going to hear of this,” Loki cut him off smoothly. “You’re not going to tell him a thing.”

Frey scoffed. “You think you can threaten me? You and your band of miscreants- you realise that they are one bad step away from Odin simply ending all their lives? You’re lucky he let them live past childhood in the first place.” 

Loki’s eyes flashed, but Frey kept talking.

“He’ll kill them all. Or, at least the snake here. The girl he’ll probably hand over to one of the minor gods as a concubine of some kind. If she’s lucky. With her features, maybe he’ll just give her to the troops at large. They can always use a hole to fuck.”

Loki walked forward and picked Frey up with a hand around his throat, slamming him back into the wall. “Do not speak of my daughter that way,” he hissed before releasing him and taking a few steps back to prevent him from simply killing the slimey bastard.

Frey coughed and laughed. “Oh, we haven’t even gotten to the best part yet. Odin  _ loves _ wolves. What do you think he’ll do with your little pup? Now that he’s all grown, he might not be quite to his tastes anymore, but I’d imagine that he’ll-” Frey suddenly cut off, hacking violently.

Loki turned and watched him curiously as he continued to cough and hack, making retching sounds and eventually throwing up blood.

Jormi suddenly stalked out of the shadows and grabbed Frey’s chin, forcing his head up to look into unblinking eyes that were glowing acid green. “Leave. Fenrir. Alone.” Jormi stood there for a moment longer, and then promptly released him, his eyes fading back to normal. He walked past Loki towards the door. “Holler if you need something,” he called over his shoulder as he left.

Loki watched his son go with a mostly blank expression before turning back to Frey.

He spat out a mouthful of blood. “Is that the best you can do?”

Loki didn’t respond right away, and when he did speak, it wasn’t to answer the question.“You should know something,” he said softly as he conjured up a knife from the netherspace. “The only reason you are not dead is because of a conversation I had with. . . a friend earlier. He’s too good for me, you see, and I’d rather not dirty my hands further with your blood.” He traced a line down Frey’s arm, pushing hard enough to draw blood. “But I can’t very well have you telling my father of this either, so I came to a compromise with myself.” Loki pulled the knife back. “Right now, I cannot alter your mind or memories because of your  _ seid _ , but if you become injured enough, tired enough, malnourished enough, your  _ seid _ will wear itself down keeping you alive. Once that point is reached, I will change your memories, and it will be like these days, or perhaps weeks, never happened.” He smiled sharply. “In the meantime, however, I don’t quite see why I can’t have a bit of fun.”

“And how will you explain my absence?” Frey asked, but Loki could see sweat break out on his brow.

Loki assumed an innocent expression. “Why would I need to explain it? The last I knew, you had assumed the duties of negotiator from me and given Thor and I leave to take a brief vacation from the coronation trail. He and his friends are currently off enjoying that vacation, given by a letter written in your hand. I decided to use it to visit my daughter, behavior that is quite common for me. I know nothing of your disappearance.”

“Heimdall,” he breathed as a last resort.

Loki snorted. “I and all my children learned how to hide ourselves from him eons ago. Indeed, all of Helheim is masked with a cloaking spell.” Loki held the knife directly above Frey’s chest. “Any other objections?”

“Don’t do this. I’m your uncle.”

Loki’s eyes were cold, not a hint of mercy could be found in them. “And I was your nephew.”

Frey screamed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love Loki's kids.
> 
> I already sort of knew I did, and I'd always been planning on including them a bit, but as soon as I started writing them I completely fell in love. I don't want to detract from the main Loki/Tony of this story, so right now I'm considering writing a companion piece focusing on Loki's kids, mainly Fenrir. We'll see. It sounds like so much fun to me right now, but it might go away. What do you guys think?
> 
> Thanks again to Red Dragonn for the Jormi nickname! =)


	13. The monster parents tell their children about at night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! So, I'm back. It's a shockingly short chapter for the amount of time you've had to wait (so sorry), but I just couldn't get it to be any longer. I had to change the writing style a bit too in order to get it to work for me.
> 
> I'm very sorry about the delay. Work has been. . . well, work. XD  
> Anyway, it's going to be at least another month before you get a new chapter, mostly because I'm doing NaNo (about which I am super excited).
> 
> Once I'm done with that, I promise I'll come back to this. Promise.

_ Darkness. _

_ Not the comforting, soothing, quiet darkness of an empty room while you awaited sleep. Not the soft, unobtrusive, warm darkness behind your eyelids after a long day. Not the secretive, convenient, useful darkness of quiet corners that could hide you from prying eyes. Nor even the dangerous, menacing, yet exciting darkness of the unknown corridor or dungeon halls. _

_ No, this darkness was none of those. _

_ It was all consuming and thick, a tangible darkness that could be felt and that was so much more than the simple absence of light. This darkness wouldn’t be chased away by light; like a heavy, woolen curtain, it prevented even the slightest ray from piercing its territory. This dark couldn’t be lit, wouldn’t be chased away, and had a mind of its own- a mind that wished to poke and prod and pull at the souls of those who entered it until nothing but dark remained. _

_ It was the Void. And Void was all that remained. _

_ But that wasn’t right. _

_ For all that it was everywhere, for all that the Void was all-consuming, for all that it was the only thing, the one who fell through it knew, somehow, that once it had not been the only thing. _

_ Once there had been light. A flash of white that meant happiness. A gleam of brown that spoke of intelligence and, sometimes, sorrow. A small, shining, blue star, bursting forth and bringing light and life to all that it touched. Once, these things had been. _

_ But now they were no more. _

_ Every moment that passed, the flash of blue seemed to grow ever more dim, the darkness seemed to become stronger. It was hungry, this Void, hungry for the light. It consumed and devoured and it would never be satisfied. It ate yet it would never grow full. Already, it had consumed everything of the one who fell through its depths. Now all that remained was the whisper of life, a whisper of brown eyes and a glowing blue heart. _

_ Somewhere, hidden deep in the depths of a broken mind, the one who had no name or soul wondered when it had all gone so horribly wrong. It wondered when it had lost its guiding star. _

 

 

The next time Loki showed up, it was a week after his abrupt disappearance and mind-boggling conversation. Tony was in his workshop, staring at some blueprints that he immediately dismissed when the Trickster appeared.

Loki looked tired but satisfied, and a lot more sane than he had last time. Also, there wasn’t any blood on him, which Tony considered a major plus.

He stood from the swivel chair at his desk and tried a smile, not sure if it came out quite as confident as he wanted. “Hey,” the inventor greeted softly, uncertain and a bit wary.

“Hello, Anthony,” Loki murmured in response, and he immediately grabbed his friend and pulled him into a tight embrace. “I’ve missed you.”   


Tony huffed a soft laugh. “Missed you too, Black Beauty.”

Loki rolled his eyes, pulling away from the hug. “A horse, Anthony? I told you that myth wasn’t true.”

Tony just shrugged. “Like there’s either rhyme or reason to my nicknames.” He turned around and walked back over to his desk, picking up a couple of the unused pieces of scrap and fiddling with them. “So. . . things better?” Not that he’d been informed exactly what had been wrong in the first place.

Loki nodded slowly, a movement that Tony only caught out of the corner of his eye. “Yes. The problem was. . . dealt with.”

“Do I want to know?” Tony huffed, trying for casual as he turned back with a smirk.

The God of Lies looked uncomfortable. “Do you?”

Tony hesitated. Of course he wanted to know. But it wasn’t like he had a right to demand answers. In the end, he settled for a shrug. “Only if you feel like telling, Maleficent.”

“I ran into. . . an old foe,” Loki said after a moment. “He pushed me too far and I snapped, despite the fact that my father wouldn’t have approved. I spent the last week in Helheim wearing down his wards so that I could erase his memories of the event.”

“Covering your tracks,” Tony simplified, musing. He smiled, wrapping his arms around Loki and pressing himself up against the god. “Thanks for telling me.”

Loki leaned down and kissed him. “I felt I owed you at least that much,” he murmured against the shorter man’s lips.

Suddenly troubled, Tony pulled away, turning away from the god again.

“Anthony? What’s wrong?”

Well, nothing to it but to just get it over with. “I’m dying,” he blurted flatly, taking a deep breath and turning to see Loki’s expression.

Green eyes had frozen in disbelief, and it seemed the god wasn’t breathing. 

“The element I used for the arc reactor, palladium, it’s poisoning me,” he clarified.

Loki took a deep breath. Then another. Finally, he spoke. “That which is keeping you alive is also killing you,” he summarised flatly, tone shockingly cold.

Tony nodded. “Yeah.”

“How long?”

“Not entirely sure. Not very long. I’ve been drinking this disgusting thing,” he gestured to a glass of the sludge that sat on the counter as he spoke, ”that’s supposed to lower the contamination levels, but it’s not a solution. It’s barely even slowing it down.”

Loki took two steps forward, putting him very close to Tony, definitely in his personal space. He raised a hand and hovered it over his chest. “May I?”

Tony found it absurdly amusing that he was asking permission. “Knock yourself out, Lokes.”

Loki’s long, pale fingers were so cold that the chill seeped through Tony’s t-shirt and into his skin, but he held still as a green glow built first in Loki’s eyes and then started emanating from the hand resting on his chest.

The sparks of magic gave him an odd tingling sensation, and he had to resist the urge to squirm. Just when he thought he was going to crawl out of his skin if it persisted, Loki abruptly pulled back, brow furrowed and eyes just as troubled as they had been before, if not more so.

“Guessing it’s not good news?” Tony tried for light hearted again. He had a feeling he didn’t quite hit the mark.

“I can’t seem to separate the poison from the arc reactor,” Loki admitted softly.

“So, I’m screwed,” Tony muttered succinctly. “Great. Well, that’s good to know, I guess. Last year alive. Or less. Last birthday. . . . What should I do for my last birthday? I’m thinking big blowout party.”

“Stop,” Loki suddenly growled, grabbing Tony by the neck and heaving him into the wall. “You can’t just give up!”

Tony barely even reacted, just looking at the god with dead eyes. “Why the hell not? You’re a fucking god, Loki. If you can’t help me, then what the hell can?”

“You are a genius, Anthony Stark. You believed yourself to be smarter than me at the age of thirteen(?). If my magic cannot heal you, use your own!”

“You think I haven’t tried that?” Tony snapped. “There is no element in existence that can replace the palladium. There’s nothing!”

“Then make something!”

Tony snorted, shrugging out of Loki’s grasp and walking past him. The god let him. “That’s not how it works.”

Loki stood, oddly still and silent behind him before speaking it a calm, irritatingly unaffected voice. “So that’s it? The great Anthony Stark, dead by his own invention.”

Tony snorted, refusing to show how much the words stung. “That was always going to be the case, wasn’t it? One way or another.”

“No,” Loki growled, suddenly advancing on Tony until the inventor was pressed up with his back against one of the workshop walls, looking up into Loki’s piercing green eyes. “I won’t let it.”

“Not everything is under your control, Loki,” Tony responded wearily. “God or no, there are some wounds even the gods can’t cure.”

Loki froze, eyes widening.

“Loki?” Tony tried a bit timidly. 

Loki leaned down and kissed him, passionately, before pulling back with light dancing in his green eyes to whisper against his lips. “You, Anthony Stark, are indeed a genius.”

Tony had had enough epiphanies to know one when he saw it. “Care to share with the rest of the class, Lokes?” he questioned, trying to ignore the bubble of hope growing once again in his chest.

“The apples of Idunn,” the Trickster stated, like that was supposed to explain anything.

“The what of who?”

Loki rolled his eyes. “The golden apples of Idunn. They are the food of the gods, and can be consumed to give the Aesir greater strength, longer lives, and heal wounds that even the All-Father cannot relieve.”

Tony blinked. He could see where this was going. “And. . . if I eat one, I get better?”

“Anthony,” Loki began, eyes gleaming, “if you eat one, you become immortal.”

 

 

_ Ah, yes. The beginning of his folly. To think that, just once, he could have something for his own. Something that would belong to him for all of eternity. To think that he, a monster, the villain of every story, could  _ **_save_ ** _ someone. _

**_A MONSTER, BOY? THEN YOU ARE IN GOOD COMPANY. WE ARE ALL MONSTERS HERE._ **

_ The fragment of a being that had once, perhaps, had a name, jerked as the voice, harsh and cold, powerful and unyielding, slammed into his already broken mind. He- for, yes, he was a he, or at least had once been- folded in on himself, trying to protect what remained of his essence from the pain that followed the voice. _

**_SO WEAK. PATHETIC LITTLE GOD. COULDN’T EVEN SAVE A MORTAL. BUT WHY EVEN TRY? IT IS IN THEIR NATURE TO DIE, TO EXPIRE. WHY FIGHT WHAT IS NATURE? HUMANS BURN. MONSTERS BURN THEM._ **

_ A part of the- god? no, not a god, not now- monster recoiled away from the words. A piece of the broken being thought that such a thing couldn’t be true. The blue star, it had not been in his nature to burn. He already had burned, and arisen so much brighter. The monster should not burn stars that glowed so brightly. How could he remove those lights from a place already so filled with darkness? _

_ But the part that thought along those lines was alone in its beliefs. More of the monster knew it was a monster. And he knew what monsters were, and what they did. Monsters had glowing red eyes, eyes that consumed all fire and turned it to ice, ice that was shown in the blue skin that covered them from head to toe. That was the visage of a monster, his visage. _

_ Monsters hid in plain sight, pretended to be something that they were not, tricked the heroes into believing that they were safe. And, yes, monsters turned on the heroes. They turned on the light and helped the dark. They consumed, like the neverending Void, and the mortals? The mortals burned. _

**_YES, YOU UNDERSTAND. I KNEW YOU WOULD. BECAUSE YOU ARE A MONSTER, LOKI ODINSSON. AND BY YOUR HAND, THE HUMANS WILL BURN._ **

****

Anthony did a double-take. “Say again?”

“The golden apples of Idunn will make you immortal, Anthony,” Loki repeated, trying to ignore the remains of that crushing cold that had begun blooming in his chest when Anthony had first announced his condition. “They will make you a god.”

Anthony pulled away, face troubled.

“What is it?”

“A god,” he echoed, voice oddly numb. “Immortal. I would keep living, and everyone else. . . Pepper, Happy, Rhodey, they’d all. . . die?

Loki blinked, voice hesitant. “Eventually, yes. They would remain mortal.”

Anthony said nothing, silently slipping down into his swivel chair as though his legs simply could not support him anymore.

“. . . . Anthony?”

“Sorry, I’m just. . . uh. . . . It’s kind of a lot to take in. Give me a second.”

Loki obliged, nervously keeping his distance.

“Isn’t. . . there any other way? Maybe we could figure something else out.”

“Why?” Loki queried, confused. “We have a solution. What more do you need?”

“Oh, I don’t know- maybe a way that doesn’t result in something irreversible and life-changing?” Anthony snapped, standing in irritation and starting to pace.

Loki stared at him, confused for several long moments. He was being offered immortality. Why would he not-?

Oh.

Loki took a deep breath. “Anthony, you would be under no obligation to me,” he murmured softly. “You could spend your immortal life doing whatever you pleased; it is not as though you would be bound to me in any way.”

Anthony stopped pacing and turned to look at Loki sharply while the god stared at his shoes. He took two steps forward and wrapped his arms around the tall, cold, and surprised god. “Lokes that’s not the problem. If I  _ were _ going to be immortal, there’s no one else I’d rather spend that life with.” Anthony swallowed hard after that pronouncement, and Loki’s mind reeled.

Surely he did not mean what he had just seemed to say.

Loki stared at him aghast, stunned into silence by the confession.

Anthony shifted uncomfortably. “Guess the cat’s out of the bag now, huh?” he muttered softly, eyes darting between the floor and Loki’s shocked expression nervously. “Loki?” he tried after a moment’s silence. “Hey, listen, you don’t have to say anything. In fact, we can just go ahead and pretend I never said anything either. I mean, really, what did I say?”

“Is that what you would like?” Loki demanded, interrupting what would likely be quite a long ramble. “To forget that it was ever said?”

Anthony stared at him blankly for a long moment. “No,” he whispered, and he opened his mouth, clearly ready to say more, but that was all Loki had needed.

The god crossed the space between them in two long strides and captured Anthony’s open mouth in a bruising kiss, soon pressing the shorter man back against the wall. After a moment, he pulled back slightly to look down into beautiful, dazed, chocolate brown eyes. “Nor is there anyone with whom  _ I _ would rather spend eternity,” he declared softly, his breath rushing over Anthony’s lips.

The mortal surged up against him, kissing him again. When he broke away, he was smiling. “I’ll do it,” he decided.

Loki frowned. “Do what?”

“Eat the apple,” Anthony clarified. “If you bring it to me, I’ll eat it.”

Loki smiled broadly. Though he knew it would be far from simple to either steal, bargain for, or request one of the golden apples of Idunn, that was a problem for another day. For now, he had his Anthony- for eternity.

_ Such foolish arrogance that had been. To believe, even for a moment, that perhaps he could run away with his mortal, that the two of them could travel the stars for endless ages, together- the Trickster Gods. _

_ But he was a monster. And monsters didn’t get happy endings. _

_ The once-god Loki slammed down unto a plateau of black rock, and for a long moment the pain of the breaking of numerous bones didn’t even register as he began to wonder at the very fact of solid ground once again being beneath his hands and feet. Then the pain hit, and he groaned, the sound slipping from him even though he hadn’t known he could make them anymore. _

_ Chittering beasts, alien creatures with foul armors and masks, gathered around him, poking and prodding him as he attempted to regain some his balance and orientation, to regather what was left of his senses after the onslaught of the Void upon his mind. _

_ Two others approached, these different than the others. One was more similar to the aliens around him, creatures that a vague corner of his mind labeled the Chitauri, the other was more humanoid. They were conversing in a rough tongue, and then the humanoid man walked over to Loki, kneeling next to him. _

_ He had black hair, slicked back, and was wearing entirely black clothes. Something about him almost seemed like a twisted version of Fenrir, a thought that sent a pain of longing through the former god. The man’s pale lips twisted into a malicious smile. “Oh, believe me, I am nothing like your son.” _

_ Loki recoiled despite the pain, stunned and shocked by his private thoughts being responded to. _

_ “Oh, none of your thoughts are private here,” the man chuckled, standing upright again. “Don’t worry; you’ll understand why soon.” With a wink, he said something to the other creature in the unknown language before walking away. _

_ The other walked up to him. He said nothing, simply spitting down next to him before speaking to the Chitauri gathered around. Then he walked away. _

_ It was an endless amount of time before he saw him again. _


	14. You got a family?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, lovely followers! I'm back!
> 
> First, NaNo crashed and burned, lol. I did at least get a decent story out of it though, even if it's not anywhere near finished. Turns out that writing on the same schedule you used when you didn't have a job doesn't work so well you when you're working forty hours a week. Go figure.
> 
> Second, I'm working nights! Or I was, for the last two weeks. They might be moving me off now; I'm generally the last to know. While terrible for my sleep, it is beneficial to my writing, since I used to write a lot in the afternoon and now I'm home then. I got this chapter almost completely written in one day, which was awesome. It actually flowed. :D Maybe my inspiration is finally back.
> 
> Lastly, I'm planning on posting at least one (hopefully three) frostiron one-shots for Christmas this coming weekend. 'Tis the season for writing, at least for me. =)
> 
> Thank you all for your patience and support! I hope you enjoy the new chapter.

“Thor!” The loud cry echoed up from the training grounds where a young Sif sobbed into the dirt. “Thor, look what he did!”

Her intended, the young blond prince, just a child, ran up beside her and knelt, looking at her short black hair. It was styled like a boy’s with such precision that Thor knew it could only have been magic that severed it. “Loki did this,” the boy murmured quietly. His brother’s tricks often brought them much amusement, but this time he had gone too far.

“Thor,” she whimpered, “my hair. My long, beautiful hair.”

“Come!” He offered her his hand as he stood. “If by magic it was stolen, then by magic it can be reclaimed. Let us find Loki and have him put an end to this mischief. He ought to know better than to plague us with his tricks.”

Determined, Sif wiped away her tears and grabbed the wooden sword with which she had come out to practice, standing with Thor’s assistance. “Unnatural wizardry,” she muttered. “Let us put an end to it.”

Despite their determination, and even the joining of their three companions, Hogun, Volstagg, and Fandral, they searched away half the day, missing lessons and training sessions and even lunch, and still Loki was nowhere to be found. As the afternoon sun beat down upon their heads, the five of them collapsed in an open field, tired and on the verge of despair.

“Where could he be hiding?” Thor wondered aloud.

“I don’t know, but I do know where dinner can be found,” Volstagg rumbled. “If we don’t find him soon, I think I’ll content myself for sating my hunger rather than my thirst for revenge.”

“We have to find him,” Sif hissed, drawing her wooden blade and pointing it at Volstagg. “He’s the only one who can undo what was done.” Her short hair was concealed beneath a forest green hood, but she still looked about self-consciously, fearful that someone might notice.

“Perhaps the queen could-”   


“No.” It was Thor that objected to Fandral’s suggestion. “We will not involve Mother in this.”

There was a collective sigh and a moment of silence from the younglings.

Then Fandral stood. “Wait here; I’ll be back.” He slipped away behind the trees while the rest watched him curiously.

It took barely a minute before they were all on their feet, following as quietly as they could as he maneuvered through the undergrowth.

Before long, Fandral reached Idunn’s gate, the massive archway made of vines that grew intertwined and that led to the Garden of the Gods. The Garden was open to the public, but when Fandral reached the darker part of the forest, the second archway, this one consisting of black vines that tied together in disturbing ways, both he and his followers hesitated.

The Garden was open to everyone, and so long as you were respectful of nature, Idunn allowed anyone free passage. Several of the other Asgardians even kept their own plots within the Garden, for there was no fear of it being destroyed under the power of Idunn.

However, the Orchard of the Seeress was an entirely different matter. No one was allowed through the second archway and into the most private domain without either the express permission of Idunn, or a written permit from the All-Father. The punishment for a transgression, even for the prince himself, would be incredibly severe, and there was no question that they would be caught.

Fandral took a very deep breath, closed his eyes, and stepped across the archway.

Nothing happened.

He opened his eyes and looked around before timidly continuing on his way through the dark Orchard, wincing and jumping at every sound.

Eventually, he reached the exact center of the Garden as the whole, for the Orchard was set in the middle of the Garden, and in the middle of the Orchard was the Tree of Fate. The Tree of Fate rested atop a small hill in the midst of a clearing, the only part of the Orchard where the sun hit, no matter the time or date or season. The massive tree was heavy with apples that glowed in the sunlight. The ones on the top were pure gold, ripe and ready for the picking. Some near the bottom were still just red, while several in the middle were slowly turning golden under the light of the sun and the constant care of Idunn.

Sitting in the shade, his back against the tree and knees pulled up against his chest, was Loki, his slightly overgrown black hair falling into his face as he read a book intently, green eyes solely focused on the words.

Standing off to the side of him was Idunn herself, the tall goddess clothed in a golden robe, her brunette hair spilling out of a bun atop her head and cascading down her shoulders and back. A golden blindfold was wrapped around her unseeing eyes, for Idunn saw with her mind and magic rather than her mundane eyes.

Her head angled towards Fandral as he entered the clearing and he shivered as it seemed she looked into his very soul. Then she vanished, leaving the boy uncertain as to whether or not she had actually ever been there rather than just a projection in his mind.

Loki didn’t look up.

“Hey, Loki?” Fandral murmured quietly, taking another step into the clearing while looking up at the dark trees nervously.

Finally, the young prince lifted his bright green gaze from the books in surprise. “Fandral? What are you doing here? Idunn doesn’t like others in her orchard.”

“But she lets you in here,” Fandral countered.

Loki shrugged self-consciously. “She caught me reading in here one time, on the edges of the orchard because I wanted to get away from the noise. She said that since I was a quiet child, I could stay. I spent a little while exploring; this is where I get the best reading light.”

“She let me in here too,” Fandral told him. “I’m not sure why though.”

“Why are you here?” Loki stood, holding the book casually against his side.

“Thor and the others are looking for you. You cut Sif’s hair.”

Loki didn’t deny it. “It was for a spell.”

“You need to give it back.”

Loki scoffed. “Give it back? It doesn’t work like that. It’ll grow back on its own soon enough.”

“Not soon enough,” Sif suddenly growled, stepping out of the bushes.

Fandral jumped, and Loki immediately became defensive, his knuckles grasping the book going white. “Fandral?” he queried, betrayed.\\\

“I. . . .”  _ I didn’t know they were following me _ , he wanted to say, but the words remained unspoken. Sif wouldn’t be pleased to learn that they were friends, nor would Hogun. Quiet as he was, the boy believed that Loki’s magical abilities were an evil harbinger, and he was tolerated among them only because of Thor.

“Loki!” Thor boomed. “Return what you stole from Sif!”

“That’s not how it works,” Loki snapped. “I can’t give it back; it’s gone. Talk to Mother for a potion to make it grow back faster. That’s the best I can do.”   


Sif clutched her wooden sword. “I don’t think so,  _ princess _ .”

Loki narrowed his eyes, but before she could do anything else, Hogun noticed the book he was holding.

“Arts of Necromancy?” he read, disbelieving. “Do your evil and tricks know no bounds? That’s forbidden magic, Thor.”

“There shouldn’t be such a thing,” Loki hissed. “Magic, just like any other weapon, can be used for good as well as evil.”

“You got it from the Hidden Archives,” Hogun growled, drawing his own, real, blade. “We must tell the All-Father.”

Loki took a step back, but it was for naught.

Hours later, Loki fled back to the Garden, this time without a book, and curled up beneath the Tree of Fate, crying softly where no one could see him.

Idunn appeared and knelt next to him, laying a hand on his shoulder. “They don’t understand, young Prince. Someday, you will all understand. You may once again long for the relative peace of these days when that occurs. Just know you will always have a safe place here.”

Loki hadn’t understood her words then.

(0)-(0)-(0)-(0)-(0)

Loki, fully grown and an accomplished sorcerer, stepped into the Garden with a sense of nostalgia. The citizens of Asgard who were roaming about the open area bowed to him in respect, but he could see behind their polite facade to their scorn and distrust of him. Hiding behind his leather coat, he swept into the Orchard, happy to be free of their gazes.

It had been several years since the last time he’d had enough free moments to come to the Orchard just to read and relax. Not since he had become a father and had begun spending his every waking minute doing all that he could for his own father so that his last remaining child wouldn’t be cast out like the others. Even this was for that express purpose.

The Tree of Fate stood exactly where he remembered, the beams of concentrated sunlight spilling down unto the apples and turning them steadily into the golden instruments of the god’s immortality. He felt a momentary flash of guilt for abandoning his friend, but the High Goddess Idunn had better things to do than spend with him anyway. The magic he had learned from her had only been her pity of him as a child, surely.

Shaking off such musings and the dark road down which they led, he took a step into the clearing.

Sitting with his back against the Tree of Fate, curled up into a ball in such a similar position as Loki had once been all those years ago, was Fenrir. He was young, just a child yet, even though Jotun did tend to mature more quickly than Aesir because of the harsh conditions of their homeworld, dressed in black rags that made Loki’s heart ache. His face was hidden, buried against his knees that his arms hugged against his chest, but Loki was uncertain if it was to hide tears or something else. Perhaps both.

Loki took another step forward, moving towards his son cautiously. “Fenrir?” he called out softly, so as not to startle the boy. “Are you alright?”

Fenrir didn’t look up, instead twisting to turn away from the sound of Loki’s voice. “Go away,” he said quietly, voice muffled and directed downwards. “I’m not coming out yet.” There was a stubborn determination in his voice, even at so young an age, and Loki couldn’t help but give a hint of a smile.

“Okay,” he soothed. “You don’t have to come out. Do you mind if I come sit next to you?”

There was a long pause before Fenrir peeked out at him, one sharp gray eye peering in his direction. “You can do as you like,” he finally said, stiff and formal, making Loki’s heart break all over again.

Carefully and slowly, he made his way over to the boy, sitting down beside him on the grass in the shade cast by the massive tree. “Did you know that I used to come here as a boy?”

Fenrir nodded, his head buried again. “Idunn told me.” Then he froze abruptly, frightened. “I know that I shouldn’t talk to her, but she spoke to me first, and it would have been rude to ignore her.”

He rather had a silver tongue himself, Loki thought sadly, if only he weren’t so frightened to use it most times. “It’s fine,” Loki soothed. “Just be careful not to get caught.”

There was a moment’s pause, and Loki thought he could sense a hint of a smile. “I could escape,” Fenrir suddenly stated.

Loki looked down at the child before him. He was less than half Loki’s size, a small boy even by Aesir standards, much less by Jotun ones. Yet he was stronger than Loki had ever been, smarter than most of the All-Father’s greatest strategists, and frighteningly vicious at times. Somehow, Loki didn’t doubt that he was telling the truth. “Why don’t you?”

“Where would I go?” Fenrir responded coldly. Far too coldly for a child of his age.

“Why are you hiding in here?” Loki changed the subject.

“Because Tyr’s going to beat me anyway, and I’d rather get some peace and quiet first.”

Loki flinched as though he had been struck. “Why would you say that?” he asked when he thought he could keep his voice steady.  _ There’s nothing you can do _ . The truth of it didn’t make it any easier.

Fenrir lifted his head, and Loki had to struggle with his instincts to remain where he was. Fenrir’s fangs were elongated and his eyes had turned the darkest, deepest color of black all the way through. HIs nails were too long as well, and his normally deep black hair had started to take on a gray tone- the color of his fur.

“I lost control,” Fenrir said simply, but it was more of a growl.

“Why?” Loki queried trying not to show that those dead black eyes elicited in him the same reaction as anyone else on whom they gazed- pure fear.

Fenrir tilted his head, regarding Loki, before smiling- a frightening thing in his current, half-shifted form. “Tyr tried to take Alia away from the work.”

Tyr, the All-Father’s appointed taskmaster, had all the troubled children and minor criminals in his care currently working on the architecture on the outskirts of the city of Asgard. Loki didn’t know who “Alia” was, but it was a safe bet that she was some kind of half-breed or something else considered a danger to the peace of Asgard. Or, more accurately, it’s so-called perfection.

“Why is that bad?”

Fenrir just looked at him for a moment. “Because when he takes the girls away from the work, he takes them to his tent.” Both knew what this meant, though Loki so wished that Fenrir didn’t. “So when he tried to take Alia, I told him that I would bite his hand off if he laid it on her,” he smirked, obviously confident in his ability to carry out that threat. “He decided to whip me, and the pain got a little much to handle.” He shrugged, like this was a normal day’s events.

The even worse part was that it  _ was _ a normal day’s events for him.

“My brave little wolf,” Loki murmured softly.

Fenrir regarded him for a moment. “Is the All-Father going to send me away? Like he did with Hel and Jormi?”

Loki choked on the automatic assurance. If nothing else, his son at least deserved the truth. “I don’t know,” he finally responded. “I’m doing all that I can.”

“It’s not your fault if he decides to,” Fenrir stated factually. “And it’s not your fault. . . if I decide to run.”

Loki looked at him sharply. “I thought you didn’t have anywhere else to go.”

“I don’t,” he shrugged, “but there aren’t a whole lot of places I can think of that would be worse than here.”

“They’ll hunt you.”

“I know.”

“They’ll kill you."

Fenrir hesitated. “I’m not leaving yet. Not unless. . . .”

Loki frowned. “What?”

The wolf shook his head, his features fading back to normal human. “Nothing. I’m not leaving yet.”

There was a beat. “Who’s Alia?”

Fenrir laughed softly, and Loki’s face lit up like a beacon. He desperately wanted to hear that sound again. “She’s my friend. Half-Midgardian.”

Loki hummed.

They sat for a long moment in companionable silence before Idunn suddenly whispered into both their minds.

_Tyr is looking._ _If you don’t wish him to find you both here, I suggest you leave soon._

The father and son immediately exchanged looks, Fenrir on his feet in an instant. “I’ll say goodbye before I leave. Promise.” He reached the edge of the clearing in less than a second, the route he had taken indiscernible, even to Loki’s sharp gaze. “Loki?” he said softly, eyes on the ground. “None if it is your fault.” Then he smiled and left the orchard.

Loki gazed after him sadly. He couldn’t even protect his own son.

_ You will  _ **_always_ ** _ have a place here, _ Idunn whispered again.  _ When it all makes sense, you can always come back to me. _

Loki hadn’t understand her words then either.

(0)-(0)-(0)-(0)-(0)

Loki’s teleportation spell carried him to the edge of the Garden, for no magic was permitted within save for that of Idunn and that which she approved. He arrived with a smile on his face that wouldn’t leave put there by Anthony’s confession. He would get an apple from Idunn, no matter the cost, and then he and Anthony could live forever. Together. Always.

The stares and whispers of the people as he moved through the outer Garden were easily ignored, for what did their opinions matter? Anthony wanted him. Anthony was going to spend  _ eternity _ with him. The whole of Asgard could forsake him and burn, and it wouldn’t matter. Not to Loki; not then.

The Orchard seemed smaller than normal, or perhaps his steps were simply more buoyant than they had ever been, for before when he had come to the Orchard it was with a heavy weight haunting his mind. Now, he felt lighter than air. Once the apple was obtained, that was it. Their troubles would be over, for not even Odin could reverse the effects of Idunn’s magic.

“You seem pleased,” Idunn commented, standing in the shade of the Tree of Fate as Loki walked into the clearing. She was picking a few of the ripe golden apples from the top of the tree with her magic, guiding them to her hand and examining them with her supernatural gaze.

“I am,” Loki admitted easily, almost giddy and feeling rather like a child again. “But I’m afraid I need to ask you for a favour.”

“You can have it,” Idunn answered without missing a beat. “But only if you stay with me for a moment.”

Loki was stunned. “What of the All-Father’s rules?”

Idunn scoffed. “He has no knowledge nor tally of the apples in  _ my _ orchard. They are  _ mine _ , no matter how much he wishes otherwise, and I may do with them as I please. He is a good man, your mortal, and he will someday make a great god.”

Loki smiled proudly. “Yes, he will,” he agreed, glowing in the approval of someone who had been a friend and guide to him for so long.

“Come,” Idunn gestured him to a place beside her. “Help me harvest these for the feast.”

Loki didn’t ask the occasion of the feast; Asgardians hardly even need a reason to throw a celebration. “Of course.” He assumed a position beside her and calmed his mind, falling into a familiar routine of working alongside of the Seeress.

“There was once a time when I didn't have to blackmail you into helping me here,” she stated bemusedly.

Loki smiled slightly. “I am sorry for my absence of late. Between Thor’s circuit of the Nine and. . . well, Anthony, I’ve had little time for old pleasures.”

“No doubt there are plenty of the new,” she said, her tone perfectly neutral to the untrained ear, but Loki could hear the undertone of mischief.

He chuckled. “I do hope my magic hasn’t suffered unduly.”

Idunn shook her head fondly. “Loki, you have long outgrown your head of my instruction; indeed, there are very few in this universe who can rival you for raw power. Control though- your control remains unsteady. Acceptance of your true self is the only way to unlock your full potential.”

Loki sighed. “I’m hardly certain what you mean by that.”

“You will understand someday. Now, however, you are going to have to leave,” she sighed as she said it, deeply, as though there were a great burden upon her.

Before he could respond, a messenger arrived in the clearing shifting about on his feet nervously. “Prince Loki, you are being requested by the Queen. She wishes to go over your place in your brother’s coronation this evening.”

Loki’s eyebrows shot into his hairline. “The coronation? It’s tonight? That’s why the apples?”

Idunn nodded slowly but said nothing.

No, it couldn’t be already. It was too soon. His mind reeling with a way to delay the inevitable rise of his inept brother to the throne, Loki quickly turned to the messenger. “I’ll be out shortly.”

The young Aesir bowed and retreated.

Loki turned to Idunn, but before he could say a word, she pressed a single, perfectly golden apple into his hands. “Do not lose this,” she told him firmly.

He smiled up at her, tucking the apple safely away into one of his pocket dimensions. “My thanks, High Goddess.”

As he reached the edge of the clearing, she called his name, and he turned.

“When all is said and done, when you know the truth, come to me, Loki. You are always safe here.”

He frowned, brow furrowing but then the messenger called his name, and by the time he looked back at the tree, Idunn was once again focused entirely on picking the apples and examining them. Deciding that it would make sense when it would, he turned and left the clearing.

Loki didn’t understand her words then, although he soon would. Perhaps if he had remembered them, things would have turned out differently.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there you are! It felt a little bit like filler, but I've always liked Idunn. Or my head-canon of her, anyway. I didn't actually look her up. XD The Thor movie is obviously next. . . . I'm really hoping it will go better than the Iron Man one did.
> 
> I don't know when the next chapter is coming. If this inspiration holds, it won't be too long, but the Christmas one-shots are my next priority.
> 
> Thank you all so much for reading! You are all the absolute best! <3
> 
> Oh, and another note: Loki calls Fenrir a child and thinks of him as such repeatedly, but he's more like a teenager. Just FYI. =)


	15. This is madness!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooh, look. It's been forever again. And the chapter is seriously short. And weird.
> 
> On the plus side, I am also working on a story for the Frostiron Reverse Bang, and this time I'm committed and have to go through with it, so that will be up sometime in April.
> 
> When it comes to my other stories... I'm trying. Your patience is appreciated. =)

Jotunheim wasn’t cold. Saying that the planet of the Frost Giants was cold was equivalent to saying that the stars were hot. The word simply did not convey the degree of severity. So, no, Jotunheim wasn’t cold. It was freezing. It was empty, vast, and frozen, so cold that some Asgardians grew ill within moments of setting foot on the Realm. Loki dreaded to think of what it would do to Midgardians.

Yet, Loki had always felt surprisingly at ease there. Where others felt fear and trepidation upon setting foot on the icy planet, Loki had never been unnerved by the cold, nor even by the giants who lived in it. Perhaps that was why Angie had been such a fascination to him.

No, never before had he been nervous about the idea of setting foot on Jotunheim, but this was different. This time, he was there to commit treason.

The Frost Giants noticed his arrival- of course they did- but Asgardians were feared enough that no one acted against him as he moved to what remained of the throne room. Laufey, King of the Jotuns, sat upon his cold, stone throne, looking down at Loki’s cloaked and hidden figure with disgust, but also a fair measure of curiosity in his unnervingly ruthless red eyes. “State your business, Asgardian,” he growled.

Loki bowed low. “Most illustrious King, I have travelled far to bring you news- news of a most promising opportunity.”

“Your flattery may work in the courts of your own kind,” Laufey growled, “but here we see your lies as nothing more than what they are- cleverly woven spider threads that will soon trap others in your net. Speak plainly, or be gone.”

Huh. And Asgardians were always saying that Jotuns were the ones lacking in intelligence. Loki had to resist the urge to smirk. “As you command,” he responded, standing up straight and dropping the honeyed tone, though still keeping his true identity hidden. He may not have been  generally as well-known as his older brother, but Loki was actually more famous among the Jotuns, namely for his strange resistance to the cold of their planet.

“I’ve come to offer you a proposal,” Loki began. “The crown prince of Asgard has his true coronation tomorrow; the week-long celebrations are nearly at an end. Because of this time of great rejoicing, all Asgardians will be well-fed, drunken, and many will be in a stupor. Every guard of the palace will be attending the coronation.” Loki paused, noting how he had all of Laufey’s attention now, and this time he let himself smirk. “Including the guards normally in Asgard’s treasure vaults.”

Loki’s hidden smirk was echoed back to him by the King of the Jotuns, but Laufey yet remained silent.

“I believe that there is something in the vaults that might interest you,” Loki stated casually, “and so I am here to offer my services to get a few of your men inside- without being detected. There are paths between our realms that not even the Watcher can see.”

Laufey stared at him for a long moment. “And what benefit do you get from this, little spider?”

“My benefit is my own,” Loki responded casually. “The far more relevant question is- what benefit  _ wouldn’t _ you receive? With the casket returned to Jotunheim, Your Highness, there is nothing that you couldn’t achieve.”  _ Except, of course, the strength to topple Asgard considering the current state of your military, but everyone has the right to dream. _

Laufey considered for barely a moment longer. “How will we know-”

“The portal will appear here, in the center of your town square, during the midst of the coronation. Be prepared,” Loki said, feeling triumph rise within him. Without another word, he promptly vanished, reappearing back in his chambers in Asgard.

As soon as he was safe back in his home, Loki threw off his dark cloak and exhaled shakily. If this didn’t work… if the Destroyer wasn’t activated in time… he could be handing the Frost Giant’s most potent weapon back to a king who wanted nothing more than revenge on his father. But he  _ needed _ more time. He  _ needed _ to make his father see. Thor could not be king, or it wouldn’t be the Frost Giants who attacked.

It would be Asgard.

And then everyone would pay.

Loki pulled the golden apple out from one of his interdimensional pockets and stared at it, exhaling heavily.  _ I’m sorry, Anthony. Wait for me a little while longer. _

_ I’m coming. _

(0)-(0)-(0)-(0)-(0)

_ “You are a vain, greedy, cruel boy!” _

This wasn’t right.

_ “Do you think I am a good person?” _

Monster.

_ “You are UNWORTHY!” _

Why are you doing this?

_ “If it’s any consolation, I think you’re right.” _

You should have known.

_ “I cast you OUT!” _

Please stop.

_ “Father-” _

NOT my father.

_ “I’m dying.” _

Nothing I can do.

_ “I saved our lives! And Thor’s.” _

Tried. Oh, Norns, I tried.

_ “What am I?” _

What am I???

_ Laufey’s son…. _

Monster.

_ “Father?” _

My fault.

All my fault.

_ “Do you think I’m a good person?” _

**Monster.**

(0)-(0)-(0)-(0)-(0)

“I asked him to be honest with you from the very beginning. There should be no secrets in a family.”

“Then why did he lie?” Loki knew his voice sounded flat. He was surprised it wasn’t more hoarse. Then again, most of the screaming had been done inside his head, he supposed. Even his mother’s-  _ not your mother _ \- soothing voice wasn’t having the effect it once did.

“He kept the truth from you so that you would never feel different.”

Then why  _ did _ I?

“You are in every way our son, Loki, and we your family. You must know that.”

**Monster.**

When Loki was only silent, Frigga turned back to her husband. “You can speak to him. He can see and hear us, even now.”

He could? Then, maybe… maybe he could fix this.

**Monster.**

“How long will it last?”

“I don’t know.”

(0)-(0)-(0)-(0)-(0)

_ The cave was dark, and Loki lay there with Angie in his arms. The flash of lightning outside made him jump, sit up straight, but her hand landed on his chest. The faint blue of her skin was barely noticeable in the dark light. Was she really so different? _

_ “Relax, Loki,” she told him, looking amused. “No one knows we’re here.” _

_ Loki couldn’t shake the feeling, but he let it go. _

Loki was sitting on the throne of Asgard. His father’s-  _ not your father _ \- throne. Gungir was in his hands, and he couldn’t seem to stop shaking. His mother-  **_not_ ** _ your mother _ \- was with the Allfather, and he had been given the spear mere minutes earlier. He was finding it rather difficult to breathe.

_ “How could you be consorting with a Jotun?” _

_ “She’s not-” Wasn’t. Her body was on the floor of the cave now. _

_ “Half-Asgardian or not, she was still a pollution on our land. Father will have words with you for this,” Thor warned. “Mischief is one thing, but these are the actions of a traitor.” _

Traitor….

_ “When I am king, I'll hunt the monsters down and slay them all! Just as you did, Father!” _

Is that what a true son would do?

_ “You’re incapable of sincerity.” _

**Monster.**

No! He could fix this.

Loki’s hand stopped shaking.

(0)-(0)-(0)-(0)-(0)

_ “Father’s dead.” _

_ “I’ve come to make you another proposition.” _

_ “What troubles you, Gatekeeper?” _

He wasn’t surprised when the Warriors Three tried to stop him, but he was that Heimdall betrayed him. In the end, though, it made no difference, although, somewhere, he felt a twinge of regret when he was forced to freeze the Watcher of old.

“Ensure my brother does not return.”

_ Not your brother. Never your brother. _

The Jotuns arrived.

“Welcome to Asgard.”

(0)-(0)-(0)-(0)-(0)

_ “Brother... for whatever I have done to wrong you, whatever I have done to lead you to do this, I am sorry.” _

Somewhere, Loki thought maybe that should have meant something. But all he could think was-  _ not your brother _ .

“And your death came by the son of Odin.”

**Monster.**

“You’re a talented liar, brother, always have been.”

_ Not my brother. _

“Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to destroy Jotunheim.”

_ “When I am king, I’ll hunt the monsters down and slay them all!” _

“Fight me.”

**Monster.**

“If you destroy the Bridge, you’ll never see her again!”

_ “Do you think I’m a good person?” _

“I could have done it, father! I could have done it! For you! For all of us!”

_ I don’t have to be the monster. _

“No, Loki.”

**Monster.**

_ “I’ll hunt the monsters down and slay them all!” _

_ “Do you think I’m a good person?” _

He let go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oookay. Lots of things to say about this one.
> 
> First, I'm sorry it's so short. I was really trying to make it longer, but... well, y'all already know that I have problems with the movie parts, and that combined with the fact that I was trying to do a thing.... Anyway, yeah, it's short.
> 
> Second, I've never subscribed to the theory that Loki trying to destroy Jotunheim and kill Thor was some kind of teenager tantrum. Even if you want to say that's what it was in canon, my Loki is not a typical teenager. He's been through hell and has three kids. Rather, I think that he suffered an actual mental breakdown. (Do you have any idea how hard it is to try and write that?) So that's what this was. He completely lost it.
> 
> Third, you may have noticed that there is a shit-ton (pardon my language) of dialogue missing. Practically, this is because I didn't want to quote the entire movie of Thor at you. But for story purposes, this is because every time Loki has one of those thoughts/memories that interrupt the dialogue, he's basically blacking out. Sure, some of the lines I skipped were his, but he's not actively thinking about what he's saying at those moments. He's mentally absent.
> 
> So, hopefully that kind of explains this mess. *I* thought that it came across okay, considering. He just... wanted to fix it. But anyway. If you have questions, please feel free to ask in the comments. I'd be happy to explain or clarify whatever if needed.


	16. I don't care

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, first-off, I am very, VERY sorry. Thing is, I can't promise it's going to get any better because... well, I kinda hate this story, lol. I think it's just dragged out too long, tbh. Not length wise, but the amount of time I've been working on it; plus, it was a first attempt at this, so... couldn't really expect me to love it, lol.
> 
> So I'm sorry. Sorry for the wait time, the decreasing word count on the chapters, and the diminishing quality.
> 
> That being said, the story WILL be finished (I'm very determined and stubborn), and I hope that some of you are willing to stick it out to the end. Thanks for reading!

Loki stood before the throne of his king ( _ not my king _ ) and knelt, bowing his head deeply. “My lord.”

“Rise, little god,” the great Titan proclaimed from atop his throne, purple eyes glowing in the darkness of the Void. “I have a job for you.”

“As you command, my lord,” Loki responded, gracefully ( _ tired so tired _ ) rising to his feet and suppressing a wince at the action.

“You will take this,” the Titan produced a staff- a staff with the Mind Stone embedded within ( _ no no no don’t let him touch me with that, not again, don’t let him _ ) and held it out to Loki, “to the planet known as Earth, to Midgard, and you will use it to dismantle their defenses. I will give you an army. You will give  _ me _ the Tesseract. And when it is all over, the Earth will be yours. A little kingdom, for a little king.” The Titan smiled, as if amused by his own joke.

Loki slowly reached out and took the staff ( _ it’s a trick _ ), grasping the spear and hefting it carefully. “As you command, my lord,” was his quiet response.

The Titan seemed satisfied with that, and Loki turned and tried not to flee the throne area. As soon as he was outside, he slumped against some of the rocks, trying not to scream as pain ripped through him ( _ nowhere is safe; can’t let them see _ ), leaving him unstable.

Suddenly, a hand fell down on his neck ( _ Thor? _ ) and yanked him around, slamming him into the wall and making his head ring and his briefly turn white.

Loki groaned.

The Dark One, the twisted version of his son, the one who had greeted him upon first falling into this nightmare ( _ place of monsters _ ) glared down at him viciously. “Thanos thinks you’re broken,” he growled, quiet and dangerous. “I disagree. Tell me, Loki, do you no longer wish to be a king?”

Loki’s head was spinning, pain lancing through him at every moment. The words that the other being was speaking slipped through his mind; he couldn’t hold on to them, couldn’t formulate a response.

The Dark One smiled, a sharp and dangerous grin spreading over his face. “It hurts less if you give in, you know,” he commented, letting go of Loki to lean back slightly. “But then again, the Titan never did feel the need to rip me apart.”

A small semblance of himself came back for a brief moment. “You mean to say that you were born with this appearance?”

Black eyes darkened even further, and the Dark One stepped forward, crowding into Loki’s personal space. “I knew you weren’t broken,” he whispered. “I don’t know what you’ve been holding on to,” ( _ holding on to? _ ) “but I’m not taking the risk.” He began to chant softly, slowly, and for a moment Loki just gazed at him in confusion, but after a moment the words began to make sense, and his eyes widened in panic.

Loki screamed.

(0)-(0)-(0)-(0)-(0)

Loki was dead.

This wasn’t a confirmed fact, but as far as Tony Stark was concerned, it was the only statement of truth that mattered.

It had been a year since Loki had left with the promise to turn Tony into a god so that they could live forever, together; a year since Loki had gone to Asgard to fetch him a mystical apple that would have cured him. It had been an entire year since Tony had last set eyes upon the god that he had come to love with all of his heart- or, at least, what was left of his heart. They were both broken, but somehow they’d managed to avoid getting cut on the jagged edges.

But now Loki was dead, and Tony felt like his heart had been broken too many times for there to be anything  _ but _ jagged edges remaining.

He didn’t know it for certain, of course. It wasn’t as though a body had ever been found. But Tony had hacked into Shield, and this was what he  _ did _ know. An alien of unknown origins, with blond hair, blue eyes, and a big hammer, had crash landed in the middle of New Mexico. He’d been trapped on Earth for a few days, and then had a massive showdown with a big metal monster he called the Destroyer that leveled a small town.

Reportedly, during the attack, he was heard speaking to the metal monster as though it were his brother.

Then Thor- because who the hell else?- had vanished back to God World. Loki hadn’t come back.

Tony wasn’t dead though. At first, trying to find a cure had just been second nature. Then it had become something else- what if Loki was hurt? What if he couldn’t get back in time? If Loki came back to find Tony dead, the inventor was under no illusions about how the god would react. He would absolutely blame himself, and Tony couldn’t have that.

So he found a cure. He found a cure, and he waited for Loki to stumble back into his penthouse, probably hurt and abandoned. But it would be okay, because they would be together again, and neither one of them would be dead. So, yes, that would be good.

But time just continued its inexorable march onwards, and a week turned into a month, which turned into six, and then, pretty soon, it was coming up on a year.

An entire fucking year, and not a word. Not a whisper, a dream, a fucking  _ feeling _ from Loki.

And, at first, Tony had been angry. He’d been so fucking angry. But time just kept on  _ moving _ , and explanations grew thinner and thinner. Because Loki  _ wouldn’t _ just walk away. Tony  _ had _ to believe that; it was the only thing that held him together for so long. And if he wouldn’t just walk away, then… where was he?

Loki was dead.

Or worse.

And Tony didn’t want to think about the worse. He didn’t want to think about what he knew Loki had been through at the hands of those fuckers up in God Land, and he didn’t want to think about the hell that Loki’s death had probably been.

But Loki  _ was _ dead.

And Tony- well. Tony rather wished he hadn’t put quite so much effort into finding a cure.

Pepper knocked on the door somewhat timidly. “We’re ready to take Stark Tower off the grid,” she announced as she entered the room. Pepper may not have been entirely aware of what was going on, but she  _ did _ know that her boss had almost died and that he had beyond depressed of late. She often caught him staring longingly at the sky, and sometimes she worried that he would just walk right off of the edge of the building.  _ Without _ his suit.

“Good. That’s good,” Tony responded, tossing her a false smile that was very transparent.

“Tony,” Pepper tried carefully, “is everything alright?” She already knew the answer, but she had to start somewhere.

“Sure, yeah. Everything’s peachy. Why wouldn’t it be?” The smile was even worse.

She gazed at him with big, sad, eyes. “Tony-”

“Gotta go take us off the grid now,” he told her quickly. “See you on the flip side.”

And just like that, he was gone, in his suit and launching off the side of the building to dive into the water.

The ocean was calm and soothing. It muted all the sounds and noises of life, and, trapped as he was in his metal can, it seemed as though it would be far too easy to just stay down there, away from the rest of the world, cut off from the universe. A universe that had become far too cold with the absence of a certain god. Removed from the rest of the world, Tony’s mind drifted even as he did what he needed to remove Stark Tower from the electrical grid of the city.

_ “What are these?” _

_ The pair of them, Loki and Tony, had been lying in Tony’s bed after sex in the relative dark. Loki’s fingers had gently been tracing patterns on Tony’s skin, and now he paused on lines of thin white scars on his arms. _

_ Tony tensed. “Scars,” he teased, “one would think that you’d be used to me having those by now.” _

_ Loki huffed a slightly irritated sigh, shooting Tony a look. “What are they from?” _

_ “Work,” Tony said with a shrug, trying to pull away _

_ Loki frowned, his brow furrowing as he grabbed the inventor’s arm gently but firmly, holding him in place. “Anthony,” he scolded. “You really ought to know better than to lie to me by now.” _

_ Tony’s eyes flickered around the room as though looking for some kind of believable excuse before his gaze finally fell in defeat. “I didn’t used to like myself very much, okay?” He really hoped that he didn’t have to explain the finer aspects of self-harm to the god. _

_ Loki inhaled sharply and Tony cringed, waiting for the backlash. Waiting for the god to tell him what a disturbed freak he was. _

_ He let out a slightly undignified “eep!” as Loki suddenly pulled him up against the god’s cool chest, wrapping his arms tightly around him. _

_ “I’m sorry,” he whispered, quiet and repentant. _

_ Tony was so shocked at the reaction that for a moment he couldn’t move. And then he spoke somewhat hoarsely against Loki’s shoulder. “It wasn’t your fault, Lokes.” _

_ “If I had not vanished-” _

_ “First off, you didn’t disappear cause you wanted to,” Tony told him sternly, “and secondly, I’m not sure how much of a difference it really would have made.” He pulled back and shrugged sadly. “It wasn’t really something that you could fix.” _

_ Loki brushed his hand across Tony’s cheek. “I don’t want to fix you, Anthony; you’re already perfect. I just wish I could have been there for you.” _

Tony violently shook off the memories and launched himself into the sky, stumbling to a halt on the landing platform outside of his penthouse.

“Sir, Agent Coulson of SHIELD is on the line.”

Tony had to take a quick steadying breath before he could manage a response. “I’m not in. I’m actually out.”

And then, minutes later, the entire world crashed down around his shoulders.

Loki was alive.

(0)-(0)-(0)-(0)-(0)

“He escaped,” Hector said quietly, watching the leader of the Black Wardens warily.

Fenrir stood upright from his kneeling position on the barren rock of a planet, turning dark eyes on his second-in-command. “When?”

“We don’t know. We thought he was still leading the assault on the Vault. I’m sorry; we failed.”

Fenrir shook his head. “The Vault still stands, does it not?”

“Yes, but-”

“The Vault is your duty. I will take care of our escapee.”

“Yes, sir.” Hector paused. “He’s going to go after you, isn’t he?”

Fenrir smiled grimly. “I hope he does. Neither I nor my family are easily caught off guard.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hector can be pretty much whatever you want. A nod to Troy and Greek mythology. A random OC. An OC from my finished novel (cause there's a Hector there too). Nobody at all. I'm not sure it matters.
> 
> Fenrir, though, I've decided is going to play a bigger role in the coming chapters. I needed a change.


End file.
